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Massive anxiety sufferer here, im at my lowest today and need someone to listen to me.
Ive had health anxiety to years now but its at its ultimate peak since January this year but before this to put things into perspective ive been fobbed off 3 times by doctors in the past and nearly died on both occassions
In Jan it started with a cough so being a smoker it raised alarm bells of lung cancer, in 35 by the way. Xray was done and it was normal. Then my throat started hurting and i raced to the dr with throat cancer fears, was diagnosed with all sorts from acid to smoking too much and the antibiotics prescriped where for viral infections. I went back to the dr 6 times still to no avail and they wouldnt send me to ent but done full bloods which came back normal. I referred myself to ent at a cost of £190 later for a scope and nothing was found, i was diagnosed with Globus. I still did not believe the proffesor of ent and with breathing difficulties for which the dr said i havent any as oxygen was fine and lings are clear it became apparent to me that i might have esophageal cancer so again stricken with panic another 5 trips to the dr whom diagnosed before this acid reflux etc and me nagging i was referred for an upper GI endoscopy. After waiting 4 weeks the endoscopy showed normal and no cancer, you see my fear CANCER!!!!!
My latest episode now is colon cancer as ive had change is bowel habits. Its getting me so down that im crying all the time and too scared to go to the loo incase i see blood or it doesnt look normal. Im willing to pay thousands myself now to get a colonoscopy........but also i do home blood tests and i did one 3 weeks ago and it should my red bloods cells are too big but everything fine. Went to the dr and he wasnt concerned!!!! ????
In my mind i have colon cancer and im struggling to sleep but also fuzzy headed now since that blood result!
What do i do please?????!! Its ruling my life so badly im struggling to get through a day!!!
Dr has sent me for CBT but havent been yet as waiting list is like 3 months! I feel so down and to the point that its not worth living like this but i dont want to die from cancer!
Im so scared, anxious, tearful, angry and i get married in 3 months but my concentration is so on my health of colon cancer now that nothing on my part has been sorted the way i want for my big day, this is soul destroying me!
Thanks to all that can help me
IM SO AFRAID.
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