Just starting my journey through depression

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I was diagnosed a week ago. Day 7 on antidepressants. I was shocked to get the diagnosis. I knew I wasn't right, but 'depression' seemed such a big word.

But i've been thinking a lot since and it all adds up. I'm not very well at all. I feel so scared and pesymistic all the time. I crave acceptance from others and despair when people don't like me. I stress about everything.

And now I'm also stressed about getting better, being strong. I want to be left alone.

Please tell me it will all get better. I read the posts here and worry about the future

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    Dear JJ

    Yes - I can tell you with confidence that it will get better. Don't apply everything you read in the posts to yourself, because everyone reacts and deals with Depression differently, and peope find that some medications are more effective than others.

    It's important for you to know that seven days is nowhere near enough time for the anti-depressants to begin their work. Some people are lucky and report an improvement in symptoms after two weeks, whereas others, often on identical meds, feel nothing for a month and sometimes longer.

    Don't be scared if you seem to feel as though you are feeling worse since starting the meds. That's very common too. It is fairly normal for the patient to feel worse before getting better as their body has to adjust to any side-effects of the drug. If you have any symptoms from the meds that you are struggling with, or are particularly severe, then consult your doctor as soon as possible. Most of these effects wear off after a couple of weeks, so don't give up hope.

    Some of the feelings you describe, like wanting to be alone, are so typical of Depression, that it would be more surprising if you didn't feel that way. I think you are trying to find your 'safe place'. You will do, and this feeling will lift once the meds have built up in your system.

    I wish you all the best JJ and hope to see a post from you soon telling us all that you are feeling very much better.  :-)

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your kind words. I know it's early days. It's all very confusing and exhausting. I just want to hide. But from what you that's normal so I will try to stay calm and wait it out.

      Thanks again

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  • Posted

    It was my pleasure JJ. Please rest assured, that what I call your "safe place", is typical in the early stages of this wicked illness. I found my safe place in a particular corner of my house.

    You need to make sure that you don't become a hermit though, because that will prevent you getting well. However, try and find somewhere that gives you a sense of peace and tranquility. If you can think of somewhere quiet where you won't be disturbed, that would be ideal.

    You are absoutely correct. It really is confusing and exhausting. I could make you laugh with some of the stupid things I've done because my mind has been racing wildly. I would jump from one job to another, work really hard, and several hours later realise I hadn't completed anything at all.

    It is easy for me to say 'be patient'. But I know that it is hard. If you hang on to hope, then the knowledge that this will pass will provide you with an anchor to keep you grounded.

    Try thinking in the present moment as well. If you find yourself drifting off into thoughts of all kinds of horrors ahead, as soon as you realise it, stop and focus on where you are, what you are doing, and what you want to do next. Even if you are just relaxing watching TV or reading, say to yourself in your head, 'right now, I'm sitting in my reoom and watching TV. That's what I feel like doing. That is what I am doing'. If you decide to go and do something different, like go to the kitchen and make a drink, continue ths conversation in your head. From getting up, all the way through to making the tea, tell yourself and think about what it is you are doing at that very moment. Pretty soon it will become normal for you to think that way and will hsppen automatically.

    You will get there. I believe you have the desire to get well and that is one of the most powerful weapons you have. :-)

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    • Posted

      I love this idea of continuous internal commentry :-) thank you

      This is all such a shock - I didn't think depression was eating me alive. Facing the facts is hard, but i'm getting there.

      Thanks again for replying. I needed that x

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  • Posted

    Yes. You will get better.  Lots of people go through depression.  Even clinical derpession.   They do get better. 

    But IMHO counseling is very important for long term health.  Talk therapy can help you learn to put things into perspective, cope, solve issue that are blocking you from finding happiness.  So be sure to include this. 

    Also research the medications (if any) the doctor wants to give you.  Be careful because some have terrible side effects that can become permanat. 

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  • Posted

    Hi JJ

    What a delight it was for me to get a reply. You see, this is a two way street. You may be feeling bad, but you've still succeeded in making one guy feel better tonight with your kind words.

    Your reply is really positive and shows spirit. I applaud you for being so open-minded that you will listen to a suggestion and decide to act on it.

    You are getting there, just don't rush yourself. Be kind to YOU. Don't punish yourself when you make a mistake or have a bad day. Remember, you are fighting a battle with a sly opponent, but I believe after reading your last reply, that you are more than a match for him.

    Pat yourself on the back. You have taken a positive step forward tonight JJ.

    Wishing you many blessings and eventually, complete success.  :-)

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  • Posted

    Try not to time stamp "when you will be better". Its just one mistake I made, that actual just created more pressure. Ithink everyone is shocked at the diagnose when they are told. But as other have said you get better in your bodys own time. Every person is different, and as such the story and the time it takes will differ. We a sa group of people can only share our expereinces and support for each other. It will be hard on ssome days but when you feel better you can proudly say I sorted it.
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  • Posted

    I was diagnosed in Jan but been unwell since last summer. I was like you but now I feeling better it's a slow road but you'll get there x
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  • Posted

    your story could be my story!! I too was diagnosed last week, and struggled to accept it. I'm now on day 2 of meds and I am determined to get my life back on track. i have found some comfort in the fact that others are going through the same.

    Hope you're feeling better soon.

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