Kate Spade, 55, Depression

Posted , 10 users are following.

Are we having a harder time with menopause than previous generations? 55 seems to be a very hard time for most women.  Is there a better way to  aging gracefully ?  Life is busy, responsible and unraveling at 55 for so many.  It is obviously not our set of circumstances as we tell ourselves. What is being overlooked?

3 likes, 23 replies

23 Replies

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  • Posted

    I personally think some of it has to do with the chemicals we are exposed to now.  And, struggling to slow down in our fast paced world
    • Posted

      I totally agree. The body can only take so many toxins.  
  • Posted

    I think so, I'm 55 and I'm having a real hard time. I think I'm in better physical health than my parents were at my age, thank God, but emotionally maybe not.

    Aging was natural now not so much. There's an unspoken rejection of aging with botox, fillers, surgeries (I'm in Miami) and photo filters. It's hard to accept the normal aging signs.

    The false sense of friendship/connection through social media, when the person on the computer is the loneliest they ever been, yet have thousands of friends online???

    It's a cold, fake world. Thank God for faith it gives me the strength I need.

    Blessings

    • Posted

      Hi jacky... I agree... Without my faith I'd be lost... The change has affected me in ways I'd never imagined but it has forced me to evaluate.. Facebook, friends etc and change life in areas it does not bear fruit...

      This is different world now where life is lived via social media and if you are depressed or down it's a lonely place to be...life is lived very much on the surface and does not require adeeper way of living.. This is not the person I am...

      God has given me strength to deal with this so I'm blessed with this.. And blessed to share my faith with millions 😁

      CK

  • Posted

    Thank you for posting this.  I was planning to post about Ms. Spade but am so glad to see the discussion already in progress.  Also thinking tonight about L’Wren Scott, a stylist and designer who killed herself at age 49.  I can’t help but wonder what role was played by hormones, anxiety and depression, and just the day to day effort of trying to keep going for these ladies before it became too much.  I pray especially for Ms. Spade’s daughter tonight.
    • Posted

      I agree. Thanks for replying. May we all prayer for her family and those close to her. May we also pause for a greater appreciation of our lives and loved ones.   I’m so grateful for great days and pray for grace on the challenging ones. 🦋

  • Posted

    I am 62, 12 years in menopause, I went through a phase of wondering what my purpose in life was, I stayed at home to bring our four children up and run the home, it was perfect for me, then they all started to leave the nest leaving me without a job, I felt bereaved, it was an awful time, my family are all close by and they are here lots of the time, but it was that loss of being a mother to young children that made me so depressed, I was lonely with people around me, I am fine now and have put some of it down to the menopause, I am still trying to set my life in a different direction, it’s hard but we have to make the most of our lives. I do think that how people appear in media isn’t the full picture, life is stressful today and it is easy to be left behind if you don’t keep up, I try haha. But seriously I am so sad for people who take their own lives.
    • Posted

      Annette,

      Thank you for posting, it's nice to learn there's a light at the end. I'm 55 and raising my kids was what brought me my greatest joy. They have moved out actually my 26 year old got married about 18 months ago and now is when I'm grieving...i guess I have delayed emotional awareness or the hormones just had a major shift.

      Just yesterday I had a major meltdown finding some cake recipe I had made for the older one's 15th birthday, 15 years ago??? I'm super melancholic, weepy. It's not something I can control, I miss my old life, them as little kids... prayer is the one thing helping me the most...and these forums.

      I'm supposed to get my period today, so that kind of explains.

      Wishing all of us quick recovery.

    • Posted

      Jacqueline I empathise completely!! It’s a double edged sword, I have always been so happy for my children to move out and live their lives but it is such a wrench, my problem was that the first three children went through the usual teenage years of disappearing into their rooms and basically pretending that their parents don’t exist haha I think this is good because it weans is off them as well, our youngest, the baby of the family didn’t do this, she was with us all the time, she didn’t do the usual teenage thing, whenever we went out she came with us, then at age 19 she decided she wanted to move in with her boyfriend, we were happy for her to do so, but after she had gone the house felt empty, I used to stand in her room in tears, the feeling of grief was overwhelming to the point where I was wondering what the point of living was about, I started looking at old photos of all my children, it was an awful time, I think that the menopause was partly to blame, a mixture of menopause and empty nest isn’t good plus I was suddenly feeling my age!! I took Evening Primrose oil for years to stabilise moods etc... and at this time I had stopped taking it because I thought I didn’t need to take it anymore, it occurred to me that perhaps stopping taking it was part of why I was so upset and crying all the time so I started taking it again and I did find that it helped me quite a lot, I noticed a change in myself over a few days, perhaps you could try it. Sorry for long message but there seems so much to say on this subject haha just to add that I finally came out of that awful grief type thing, I still miss my children being at home, but that will always be the case, our youngest is doing well, she has bought herself a car and comes to visit us all the time, the other three live close by, my daughter in law calls most mornings before work for a cup of coffee, so I am lucky, if only we were warned about the grief we go through after our kids leave home, you will come through it, I used to talk it out with my husband and children, that helped, being on my own in the house was the worst!! You’ll get there!!
    • Posted

      Annette,

      Thank you for your words, for understanding my deep pain.  I will definitely look into evening primrose oil.  I'm currently taking St. Johns wort and its helping a little bit.  I also was happy when they moved out, not in a bad selfish way its just that I come from a dysfunctional family (my 54 yo brother lives in my mom's home) I've seen the alternative and didn't want that for them.

      But it seems as if my life had a purpose, when they were home.  I guess things will fall into place soon. I love how your family, kids, have gone on to have happy lives.  

      Again thank you,I think your messages speaks entirely to what I'm feeling.  Its funny how two strangers can feel exactly the same.

      Blessings,

      Jackie

    • Posted

      Jacqueline the reality is that while we are bringing our children up we don’t think that it will ever come to an end, I had my last child at age 41 my first at age 23 so I had a good few years just bring children up plus a few years working as a registered child minder, so that is all that I’ve known, I envy women who have the balance of going out to work and being at home, at least they have another occupation to help them through the empty nest bit!! I have three grandchildren and one on the way, I’m spending my spare time knitting at the moment in readiness haha my husband helps me through it by working from home twice a week and we go out to the coast every few weeks, I think it’s a case of getting back to ourselves pre children, we were happy with ourselves before we had children so we need to get back to that, trouble is my ambition when little was to marry and have children haha we are normal in that we have encouraged our children to leave home, that is a natural progression, I still have my middle son at home, he is 27, but circumstances keep him here, he works but doesn’t earn enough money to afford to leave home, but he does look after himself and definitely isn’t a mummy’s boy, he has a girlfriend, he is welcome to stay here for as long as he needs to. You will get through this, I thought at one time that I wouldn’t come through it! But life does start to take a different direction and I’m sure your children are there for you, I found talking to them about it a great help. I have just realised you are from America, I’m in Yorkshire, England, lovely to meet you 😊

    • Posted

      Annette,

      Nice to meet you too, yes I'm in Miami, Fl.  Originally born in Cuba and came to the USA at the age of 7.  Nice to see oceans can separate us, but we all go through the similar struggles.

      Blessings,

      Jackie

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