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Keeping strong.....

Posted , 5 users are following.

nicnic8
nicnic8

Four weeks ago I left my partner of ten years. He was very controlling and my already weak mental health was further damaged by this. I have been in the psyciatric unit more times than I care to remember and my list of medication is long...

However, I feel free. I can eat what I want, walk where I want, do what I want...it's all new to me. After ten years of having absolutely no say in anything or control over anything I am suddenly in control...and amazingly coping!!! My best friend said yesterday that she had never seen me looking so good.

There is one fly in the ointment though... Four weeks ago I broke my wrist. Although the actual break is healing very well I have some nerve damage also. I am wearing a big brace that covers my wrist, hand and thumb. This pretty much makes my hand useless. I have already had four weeks off work and I have now been told to have another four weeks...then who knows.

I have battled and battled to beat depression and anxiety. It was still there, especially the anxiety, but it was under control. I just fear that this setback with my wrist, which is already making me feel despondant, will lead to depression.

I just don't think I can go back there again.

Nic

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 nicnic8

    Posted

    Hi Nicnic, Well done for changing your life around and finally being free from your controlling partner. You have got your life back on track and looking after yourself. Thou you have broken your wrist, this will finally heal and is just a temporary condition. Keep your mind busy, have you some reading to catch up with. Visit people you haven't seen for a while, go for coffee or lunch with a friend. Do things you enjoy.

    Best wishes

    Elizabeth 

  • nicnic8
    nicnic8

    Posted

    Thanks, elizabeth.

    I am keeping myself very busy. I no longer need to take extra tablets to self medicate myself and avoid life. I am reading quite a lot, but in a healthy way rather than in my depression when I would read for days without coming up for air., Again just away of avoiding life.

    I have had about a foot and a half of my hair cut off and I feel like a different person.

    Procrastination is no longer my middle name...when things need doing they get done!

    But we all know what a little sneak depression is..it'll creep up on you slowly without you realising. I just keep telling myself I can do this..

    Nic

  • nicnic8
    nicnic8

    Posted

    Thanks, elizabeth.

    I am keeping myself very busy. I no longer need to take extra tablets to self medicate myself and avoid life. I am reading quite a lot, but in a healthy way rather than in my depression when I would read for days without coming up for air., Again just away of avoiding life.

    I have had about a foot and a half of my hair cut off and I feel like a different person.

    Procrastination is no longer my middle name...when things need doing they get done!

    But we all know what a little sneak depression is..it'll creep up on you slowly without you realising. I just keep telling myself I can do this..

    Nic

  • anne240
    anne240 nicnic8

    Posted

    Hello there.  I have in the past broken a wrist and had a lot of trouble with it, so I know how you are feeling.

    i am pleased that you have made the break from an abusive partner and enjoying being able to do things thst you yourself enjoy. 

    I too have battled for many years with depression and anxiety.  It is part of me now and I accept it, but know how difficult it is to cope with.  Hopefully when your sarist is healed and back to work you will feel brighter.  It has dragged you down, which is understandable. 

  • Ange1a
    Ange1a nicnic8

    Posted

    Hi Nic, 

    Well firstly well done on all that you have already achieved!!! 

    The positive side to having suffered depression in the past (if there is such as thing as a positive side!) is that you know the signs to look for... if you start to feel these then you need to start taking action. I presume that you have started to feel this, hence your post. 

    Your broken wrist doesn't have to take you back to this dark place. Remind yourself that although it is taking longer than you would have hoped, it is only a temporary set back. (Keep visualising doing the things that you want to do, but can't at the moment due to your broken wrist). Use this as a way to keep you going.. (Eg: "Only 4 weeks and I can go swimming" or whatever takes your fancy). 

    Get yourself out and about - do things that you enjoy doing. I know it can be tough when you are signed off work - especially if money is a problem. But there are things that you can do that don't cost a lot of money. Try going for a walk in the local park, or just go for a walk round the block. Maybe go to your friends' for a coffee. Try and make the most of this time off work the dr is giving you - relax and enjoy it. Pretty soon you will be back at work and back to the normal daily grind. 

    Look at all the positive things that are going on in your life at the moment and focus on them. 

    Good luck & take care.

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