Kidnapped/ assaults in domestic violence
Posted , 4 users are following.
I was with my spouse for several years,... after apr 6 months started getting verbally abusive yelling and screaming sometimes, then broke a couple of my things.... anyways after a few more months became physical towards me- slapping, shoving me against a wall with his face right up to me yelling so i couldn't leave and was stuck there shoved against a wall or door while he screamed at me sometimes threatened me...it didn't happen every day but the episodes got more serious level of violence... I have such bad depression and ptsd I'm having trouble functioning and have no real quality of life -- every day I will usually at some point get triggered and start breathing fast and heavy that often times goes into panic mode, heartbreaking distressing memories of events leave me feeling despair and hopeless... a few of the triggers that are hardest are one incident where we were at home and he started to get anxious and angry, it felt like almost a hostage situation... I tried avoiding him and he kept coming wherever I tried to hide out and he was pushing me back threatening to kill me asking if I want to die,.. I was trying to calm him down and walked on egg shells but didn't work.. he came at me hitting me and shoving me and then pushed me suddenly back to where I was tossed on my back landed on this wood coffee table... he left me laying there and I waited a while, hoping he was calming down in the other room.. I waited and after a while quietly walked to the door to exit and he ran over and caught me at the door not letting me leave, hit me on side of head and broke my eardrum...
Another time in the car he started getting very angry and explosive over some minor reason,.. I was driving and he told me to pull the car over on this residential street... I was terrified what he might do and also worried with him yelling screaming and hitting me someone would either try to intervene or call the police. I just wanted him to let me go, i asked him to let me just leave and walk somewhere and come back later- he said if I tried he would put me in the hospital.. I was stuck in car w him against my will when i told him i could drop him off and we could do our own thing a couple hours and then I'd come back he refused and again said if I tried to leave I'd regret it, then grabbed my car keys and threw them far off in the street... felt like I was a hostage in a way, I was... henthreatened me and screamed and did this for I'm not sure how long it felt like an eternity I was breathing heavy he got mad how I was breathing then, yelled at me that if I have an "anxiety problem " I need to learn how to breathe and use coping tools (not able to see my anxiety problem was from him holding me hostage in the car screaming at and threatening to break my jaw and put me in intensive care...hmmm) after he got his fill of this ordered me to drive back after he fetched the keys to home and as soon as we got there he was pushing shoving me across the front walk and shoved me against the wall holding me by my throat and asked if I want to die... it went on and on, I managed to get away and run to bathroom where he got in and started choking me and after he let go I didn't feel right and my right eye was blood shot.. he went upstairs and i snuck out to backyard and he came out there before i could leave thru the side gate and shoved me back onto a chair where I almost lost my balance and would've went back and hit my head... that feeling when he held me hostage is one of the strongest body memories of my ptsd
0 likes, 3 replies
jane_31622 danielle35642
Posted
Hi Danielle,
I am so sorry to hear about your experiences. I too have PTSD and have gone in and out of traumatic shock where I feel like everything's surreal and I question if everything I'm doing is normal. Like making a cup of tea, mundane things. I have meaningless repetitive thoughts and songs going round in my head and I am struggling to function too. I feel terrified all the time, very unsafe within myself. Are you getting any help? I don't like leaving the house at the moment as I look.like a haunted bag of crap! And I have no interest in seeing friends. I cant sit still long enough and I resent their normal lives that I enjoyed before this recent event. My ptsd was caused by my brothers suicide 2 years ago and through therapy have explored the deaths of my parents and iwas sexually assaulted as a young teen. I was doing really well until my partner started drinking and being unpredictable which made me feel unsafe at home. He isn't drinking like he was but I feel this terror which is completely out of proportion but must have dragged up old traumas. Are you able to sleep, eat or work? I'm sending lots of hugs and please let me know how you're doing.
danielle35642 jane_31622
Posted
Hello and thank you... I'm still struggling a lot, everyday is somewhat a roller coaster, some days better some worse. I hate that I let him do this to me. I feel so sad the effects I can see will be long term deep and profound. I take it moment by moment and try to do self care, yoga and started a natural food plan because I am sensitive this works in my favor-- something as minor as eating natural foods can help me more than some who aren't quite so sensitive. The psychological effects are the worst by far-- I have deep sadness and regret I allowed him to do this to me in the sense I should've the first time he hit me, I should've run away but oh well I'm not supposed to be hard on myself there were a variety of factors and domestic violence is very complex, most women have a very hard time leaving. All I can do is try to take care of myself and pray to god I heal and find more support and love along the way. I think maybe one of hardest things is idea he got away with it-- although he's incarcerated for it, the last I heard he thinks he is misunderstood and a victim of the system, and has family send him money packages and goodies, gets to watch tv and do art therapy. He had his nephew call to tell me he loves me and everything's gonna be ok and we'll be together again, but he's kind of resents that he thinks I have a great old life because I'm not behind bars. Really? A great life?? He cant let himself believe how serious it is what he did.
annie1963 danielle35642
Posted
Please Please Please don't believe anything he says and never ever romance the idea that he will change. I left an abusive relationship and after 3 months my ex wanted to just be friends. I thought no big deal I can do that. When I went to his apartment he had planned out what he was going to do to me. He Shot me twice, tortured me in numerous ways over a period of about 10 hours. I cannot stress enough that never ever go back. Not even as friends. These horrible people use all sorts of tactics to control you. Apparently it makes them feel good about themselves. My ex had such an emotional trap on me that I went to see him in jail before he was sent off to prison. He never apologized or admitted anything. He just said he was off to his next adventure in life. Disgusting. Dont look back. You were a victim of a spineless narcissistic control freak. I am still dealing with all this 20 years later. Move on and count yourself lucky to have gotten out alive. Too many women die because they have been beaten down and made to believe that its their fault. Its not okay to abuse anyone, its not any different than child abuse, in my opinion. I am happy you are away from him and happy that you are finding yourself. Love yourself and learn to be happy with who you are. A good match will come if you do those things.