Kinda suicidal (please don't read if easily triggered)

Hi january21

We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

Kindest regards

Patient

Hey.

i wrote a similar post to this 2 years ago thinking of suicide. This morning i checked my email and for some reason your post was sent to my email and as im reading this i feel it was a sign for me to reach out to you. I know the whole "it will get better s**t" and everything. I get that its not what we want to hear because when we feel so lost and helpless theres really no one anything can say to make the pain feel less. I know how it feels to wake up numb and have no reason to look forward to anything. But i found a way, i put myself out there, i woke up and found a way to be happy. i dont know how to explain it. But i know suicide was never the answer for me.. getting in a plane and having the turbulence so bad that youre saying to yourself please god i dont want to die... theres so much to experience in this life. time heals all wounds. idk if this makes sense but please msg me if you wanna talk!!

Hey january21,

Just like christine19688 I was also suicidal a couple of years ago. I have since recovered and live a happy, normal life. I am proof that this illness can be beaten and I've got some advice for you with techniques of how I got myself feeling better. And luckily it doesn't involve the usual 'don't do it, everyone loves you' stuff which is very sweet but doesn't really solve the problem. And that's what this is...a problem - but luckily problems are there to be solved

I find it helps to think of this in a scientific way - right now your brain, for whatever reason, is making you feel bad. I know you have experienced good feelings before at some point, as we all have, so you know that sensation exists, it's just a case of getting your brain back there. This is where you have to be honest with yourself - it's going to take some work, but if step up and conquer this you'll become the greatest version of yourself possible and you'll no doubt go on to help others escape the hell that you emerged from.

Here are some solid techniques that slowly but surely pulled me away from suicide (if you're unsure talk to your doc first):

• I upped my omega 3 intake first. The aim is to get about 4000mg of the oil per day (that's about 4 average capsules) for an average sized adult
• Do at least an hour of exercise every day. This one is tough I know. On my worst days I was catatonic and couldn't move but if you can it does wonders to work up a sweat daily.
• Spend time in public areas where there are lots of people. Book theatre tickets, go to comedy shows, cinema, shopping malls etc. If you can try to talk to people about anything. Even if it's asking for the time. The human connection is what your brain needs and eventually you'll notice you feel more social. A trick I did was to pretend in my mind that everyone I saw in public was a close friend that I trusted greatly. This made it easier to strike up conversation.
• Use social media less
• Avoid sad films, music etc. Force yourself to engage with comedy/uplifting/motivational media even if you struggle to feel those emotions (your subconscious will soak some of it up)
• Get plenty of sunshine
• Get lots of sleep
• Find a way to help others. This makes you feel empowered and sometimes makes your problems look a little smaller
• If you start thinking of suicide try to make a joke to yourself - something like 'oh here we go again, can't leave my brain alone for 5 seconds before he gets all emo!'

You can beat this

is there any voluntary work you could try in your neighbourhood? Even if not up to it a couple of hours here and there might be good for you. Presume you must be on medication? Don't mind chatting to you. I suffer depression by the way, I find everything is so futile in this world, day after day.. but it wears off also. can just about cope, but I need a job, do you work?

Hi January, you're stuck in limbo, if you wanted to go nobody would know. You don't quite. I have been there on the phone to the Samaritans threatening to take my life whilst on the phone. Too many things happened together. I think you need to keep speaking to someone, something is tipping you over the edge but i am unsure what? You need to discover why you don't want to be here with expert help. I am having assault counselling st the moment and was threatened with psychiatry so spoke about my past to do with rape, if nearly made me sick and has made my heart slightly lighter since. If i can do this you can but we do hear you on here, beg for more help off your doctor. Good luck. Not funny but sortable.

thank you all or ur kind replies, i had a really dark weekend, i dont feel any better but not as desperate.. i did think about calling the samaritans but i just cant do it im not good at talking especially on the phone, i see my doctor in a few weeks so i will see if i can talk about it,

thank you xxx

Hello my names Leela. I've felt exactly the same you do feel right now. Luckily i called emergency services and told them i was thinking about suicide. They gave me so much love, attention, help and diagnosed me with depression. Now i'm 50 years old and happily on anti-depressants (happy pills) because i didnt have enough happy cells in my brain so i had to top them up. I feel much better now. Also they let me try out all different kinds of therapy to help me feel better and learn to love myself and forgive myself for all the mistakes i'd made in my life.

Many many people would be heartbroken if you took your life, including me ! And i dont even know you personally but so many of us feel or felt that same way you do now. So we are all in it together. You are not alone. Just ask for help. Call the emergency services and you will realise just how loved you really are...to people who dont even know you personally !

Lots and lots of sympathetic hugs from your new friend Leela Davis xxx