Ladies I need to vent

Posted , 9 users are following.

Today I went swimming had fun but later I felt like my chest was sore thinking because of the swimming moving muscle I haven't moved in a while but then anxiety kicks in now I'm thinking something bad I keep pulling my rubber band telling myself it's ok it's just the hormones so here comes the aches and pains in my shoulders then I have to deal with my I'll sister she has liver issues but when I go around her my skin's crawling because she is nothing but negative no Matter what I try my best I've been taking car of her children for over a yr due to her being an alcoholic cps took her children out of the home but I deal with the stress of her attitude everyday she trys to make me feel like I've done something wrong when clearly I have done nothing but take care of her kids she constantly lies on me wanting people to feel sorry for her the list goes on and on but i love my sister so much I just can't take the negative all the time making me feel bad when I don't run to her Beck and call I'm tired wore out its been over a yr I use to run two and three times a day back and forth to the hospital I can't do it anymore it's to the point when she calls now my anxiety kicks in just because I know she is going to say something to tick me off I'm sorry but many yrs I've tried to get her to give up drinking but she wouldn't Nd she ended up very sick but she treats me like it's my fault but it's not I didn't force alcohol down her throat ladies sorry I just need to vent at times

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Monique

    Vent you did. That sounds like a God awful situation and you are the kids only stable force in their life. God Bles YOU for being their for them. You deserve a pat on the back,not a shove. Thnk skin is what you need sister. Don't let her get to you.

    Sounds like she needs some sort of "invervention" Dr Phil style, if u know what I mean. Clearly she needs help and you need to clear your mind of her, I know you love her but she is dragging you down. Stop being so dependable!!!

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  • Posted

    I'm so sorry you have to go through all of that. You have to pray on it and let her go. If she can't treat you with respect then you may have to distance yourself from her for a while because stress will kill you

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  • Posted

    It's therapeutic to vent doesn't cost a dime in a free forum.

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  • Posted

    Sending hugs to you. My darling you are doing too much. I know you love your sister but you have to think how it is making you. There must be some solution somewhere xx
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  • Posted

    Hi Monique

    I hear you. I went to a wave pool and the next day was aching and then I got fixated on my chest and something being wrong. I knew I was being silly.

    The stuff about your sister and supporting her really resonates with me. I've been looking after my brother who has cancer, he's not married. I've had 2 very stressful years getting him through it plus a stressful job. Then my brother went into remission after nearly dying, I changed job to something much less stressful. Life was great. Then bang, heart palpitations and anxiety set in. I have to wonder if it has anything to do with the stresses we've been under...

    I am getting better. I don't try to be there for everyone and have learnt to say no.

    Maybe you need to take the pressure off yourself and stop trying to help everyone else and taking on their stress.

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  • Posted

    Dearest Monique. Let it out girl. I cannot imagine how difficult that must be for you. My estranged father is an alcoholic (self denied one) & I cut all ties with him many years ago after he had a stroke which he came out of very well(no disabilities, speech problems, impairment, mobility) nothing. Yet he played on it, made out he was terribly disabled to everyone & would not let anyone see doctors or specialists with him & treated his whole family awfully- bullied them basically - always blaming it on "his stroke". I found it disgusting as so many people have strokes & come out of it with terrible disabilities that completely wreck their lives. He had everything still intact, but would use it as an excuse to bully everybody including his 3rd wife (also an alcoholic). blood ties are strong, but there is a limit to what you can take/tolerate & morals & the way we are brought up tell you when a family member is going "over the line" so to speak. I felt the same way with my father - couldnt watch the way he bullied everybody, spoke to people, criticised & slagged off my mum, granny, brother. I hate him. I have no emotions for him. He is no father, just a manipulative, selfish, nasty, material man. I decided for my own sanity to cut ties with him about 8 or 9 years ago now. You have to look after yourself Monique or your health will deteriorate further. I know exactly what you mean when the contact with you sister in any form is negative/creates anxiety which you have to distance yourself from. If I was in your shoes my first action would be to go see your gp & tell her exactly what you said in your post (or print it & give it to her to read if too emotive to say it) & ask her for help. see what she suggests. gp's have access to many organisations including mental health teams, social services etc that may be able to take over your role so you don't have to have contact with you sister any more. its got to be worth talking to your doc about. Do you have custody of her children? xxxx

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  • Posted

    Hey gorgeous x you have been a rock to your sister and an amazing aunt. This is really hard but you need to get you strong you are the glue to keeping it all together which is soooo admirable and takes an incredible individual. Please take steps to look after you- easier said then done- I totally get that.

    Big hugs x

    Sazzie x

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much I try my hardest but sometimes it's hard I cry silent cries at night I do love my sister I'm so worried about losing her due to her illness but I also have to stay strong to look after these beautiful girls of hers ages 7-10 thank you all for your comments god bless

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    • Posted

      Monique, we are all always here for you to vent or ask advice. If I was your best friend I would be urging you to go to your doctor if not just to speak about this situation you are in. They may be able to offer some help or suggestions or organisations to help you. I feel so sorry for you trapped in this misery. Please be mindful of looking after yourself. xxx
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