Last night was bad.

Posted , 6 users are following.

So things happened during the day that really broke me.  In the old days I would grab a blade or glass and slice till i felt better with myself, but I don't keep blades or glass in my house anymore. I needed to hurt. So I got a piece of metal and held it over my lighter till it glowed red.

Needless to say the damage is just unthinkable. But at this point to me so is life.  I started looking up places where assisted suicide is legal. I been alone with this fake smile for 7 years and i can't do it anymore. I don't want to survive, I want to live. 

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Night time is always worse isn’t it and you desperately search for someone to talk to online but apart from the Samaritans there’s no one. I totally understand your comments about wanting to live. I’ve akways said they can replace hearts yet can’t flick a switch to stop depression x
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  • Posted

    Assisted suicide for Mental Health Issues are not generally considered, if you are reverting to cutting and burning you need to talk to your GP. and explain your problem

    If the burn has just been done you may either go to A and E and get it properly treated. Or you can contact NHS Information Line on Tel 111, they will advise what you need to do.

    With a burn it will need treatment, depending on the type and ho serious it is. Burns can be very problematic. Get sorted


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  • Posted

    Hello. I cannot imagine how deep you pain must be to burn yourself that way. I agree with Bob you need a medical eval fast so you don't have a big infection to deal with.  Not to mention how much pain you must be in. Will you call your doctor and let them know what you have told us here and then keep us posted? Diane

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  • Posted

    The pain is bad. But i take external over internal always. I've been in an induced ativan numb-coma but today i have to go to work.  I'll be told how useless, pathetic and weird I am. I'll dream all day of ways to kill myself. I'll have a panic attack at around 8am then again at about 1pm.

    Every day is the same. always.

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