Light at last

Posted , 8 users are following.

I was prescribed citalopram in march for anxiety by my GP and it was the beginning of a living nightmare! I started on 20 mg for 5 weeks then my dose was increased to 30 mg for 5 weeks, 10 weeks of my life which I shall never get back. My anxiety was out of control, I lost 10 kg because I couldn't eat and was living on complan and Cheerios, I was lucky to sleep for 3 hours every night due to being jolted awake by adrenaline rushing through my body which lasted nearly all day and only diminished on an evening. I was virtually house bound, couldn't work couldn't even go to local shop, was practically living in my bed and terrified to be left alone. I had no emotions I couldn't even cry I was just existing. I was also on 3x40 mg propanol a day and diazapam didn't even touch the anxiety.

I was at drs every week, hospital twice and even had an ambulance.

This all came to a head when I decided my life wasn't worth living anymore and suicidal thoughts where taking over. I called the crisis team and I was addmitted to the mental health ward at my local hospital. They changed my medication to mirtazapine 15 mg and weaned me off the citalopram over a week then increased my mirtazapine to 30 mg. Mirtazapine has saved my life!

From the first night of taking it I actually slept it was amazing, it contains a sedative and also an appetite stimulant which enables me to eat again. I have been taking this medication for 5 weeks now and my life has changed so much. The anxiety is practically gone and I am able to go out and function and I can actually see a future, I still have some down days but with help also from CBT I'm learning how to deal with this.

It's still early days but everything is looking positive and my life is slowly returning to me. I encourage anyone who is really struggling with citalopram to look into mirtazapine, it literally has saved my life

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  • Posted

    Wow you have been through a lot. I know that citalopram is not for everyone. But well done for getting the help. And I'm so pleased that you can now look forward. 
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  • Posted

    Hi, I also had the same problems with citalopram, made my depression worse started self halming and almost attempted suicide I had to argue with the Dr to change it, , couldn't sleep, felt life wasn't worth living,

    I was changed to venlaflaxine but that made things worse. I was eventually given mirtazipine I'm on 45mg and been on them six years. Tho with CBT life is alot better. But the fight to get the right treatment was a knightmare. Suffered for over a year that wasn't nessasery. It's a daily battle but one I'm determined to win now.

    I'm even training to be a CBT therapist to help others as its helping me understand more about my condition.

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    • Posted

      Good for you

      I have had 5 sessions of cbt 3 of those were prior to my hospital admission. After the first 3 sessions I had given up hope it was going to work for me but the last 2 something seemed to click and I'm finding them a great help

      Lisa

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  • Posted

    Great to hear you finally found a solution that was right for you. Sounds like you've had a real roller coaster ride! Citalopram has been great for me but everyone's experience seems to be different and it's important people get to see both sides of the story and know what the alternatives are! Hope things continue to improve everyday for you smile
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    • Posted

      Thank you

      Yes different medications differently for different people. Citalopram worked wonders for me previously so I just continued taking them praying they would do the same again but it wasn't to be. I really didn't want to have to keep trying different medications and going through withdrawals and side effects each time but luckily the changeover was not as horrendous as I thought it would be

      Lisa

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  • Posted

    So glad you got the help you needed. One doc told me my anxiety was because of my pain levels yet I've had to wait 8 weeks for a steroid injection that takes 2mins to administer because they now have a clinic! It's frustrating when all they want to do is give strong painkillers that only mask the pain and cause other problems. Excuse the rant but at times I think an animal wouldn't be left like this. I'm glad you got the support when you needed it as you've been through the mill. Wishing you a full recovery soon. Take care.
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    • Posted

      Hope you get the help you need soon I had steroid injections in my feet in January for osteoarthritis, it helped a lot tho I'm still taking pain meds. You right they don't treat animals like this. Sometimes feel like they just want you in and out and don't take the time to hear you, just remember you not alone in what your going thru.
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    • Posted

      Thanks for that Peter. It's only since joining this forum I realise the support that's out there. I have bursitis in both hips and unfortunately I can't tolerate pain meds, being allergic to most, except paracetamol. It only takes off the edge at best. The steroid injections at least give me some respite. As my husband says drugs only mask the pain not sort the problem. Doc's attitude doesn't help: To quote  " You're not the only one with this problem and we are short staffed." I know I'm not but why wait 2 months instead of doing it during routine appt., as has previously been the case.

      In the time she took to phone me I could have had the injection.Take care.

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    • Posted

      Thank you

      I didn't realise there was so much support out out there and probably still wouldn't if it wasn't for my hospital admission

      GPS don't seem to inform you of these organisations. I have been referred to MIND, pathways, crossroads and moving forward but like everything else you have to wait

      I'm also waiting for an advocate to help me when it is time for me to return to work

      Lisa

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  • Posted

    Well done! I am so glad you have found your med that is working. Wishing you all the best, and yes th
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