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Some say anxiety is a disease of life style others term it as an ailment of civilization. We may argue about its origin but few may doubt its havoc.
I have been fighting this obnoxious weed for long time. During this phase, I have had ups and downs, rise and falls. I was petrified when all this started. I would say ignorance and lack of counselling added to my woes. I thought I was going crazy. I was on the run to avoid panic attacks. However hiding was not an option.
I began to meditate, it helped but somehow I couldn’t help stressing out. Then came a phase in my life, when I got super busy with work and friends. I had good times and tried to forget about my past miseries. However the physical symptoms of restlessness, fatigue, nervousness, et al always reminded that the saga is far from over.
I also had a pleasure of falling in love. Believe you me, it changes everything. Love is like the ultimate drug which can cure any illness. Studies have shown that being in love our body produces good emotions and hormones which make us feel high.
For the first time in my life, I really felt better. This may be due to brain chemicals or the fact that it was my first love. However not all stories have happy endings. We had to part ways for reasons best known to destiny, fate, universe, whatever you call it.
This loss unleashed the beast with full force. I was so down and out that I had given up all hope. But they say hope is a beautiful thing and even faith that of a mustard seed can move mountains. Finally, I decided to lift the curtains. I was tired of pretending and faking that everything is fine. I remember I sobbed like a baby while sharing my issues with my family.
At present, I am under medication and recovering. Although, I am still stuck between rock and the hard side but the uneasiness to pretend has ended to some extent.
I think that may be things would have been better if I had sought help early. I think if I ever will feel like I used to feel during carefree childhood afternoons. I think if it’s kinda nightmare and I one day I will wake up afresh. I think the key isn't giving up. What goes down comes up, it's a universal law.
Little did I knew that all this would change my life forever. I certainly had a bumpy ride but it has taught me several things. I would conclude it with words of Saint Paul, "when everything fails in life, love, hope and faith remains".
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