Posted , 6 users are following.
Why do I feel so alone?
I know it's part of my depression and anxiety and everything in between. I know that logically.
I know logically there are so many people out there suffering as much and more than me.
I just feel so alone.
I lie awake every night with people around me, my beautiful boyfriend is right there. I know I have it better than most but I just feel so alone.
I feel guilty for feeling this way.
I feel boring for feeling this way.
I know I have much more to give I just can't seem to do it?
I'm constantly reminded of how much I should be doing or giving, from family and friends, it's like they just don't get it.
I was supposed to go to Oxford or Cambridge, I've been told this since first school.
But I just can't.
I can barely get dressed.
I just feel so alone.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I've tried everything, so many antidepressants, CBT, counselling, psychiatry, psychologists... I just feel I am lost.
I am scared and lonely and tired. And even more scared of being scared and lonely and tired for much longer.
I just want it to stop.
2 likes, 10 replies
chris14174 audrey96558
Posted
audrey96558 chris14174
Posted
It sometimes is so exhausting doing and feeling nothing? If that makes sense.
My friends and family think they understand but they really don't, they think its like having a bad day or something... It's like having a bad day for years... Whilst hungover... Whist feeling guilty.
I don't know if that makes sense?
I just feel in this awful angry/guilty/sad/lonely fog all of the time. I wish to god I could get myself out of it. I just don't seem to be able to.
I wish sometimes I did have a broken leg so people could understand, but I can put on a brave face as I normally do and people just think I'm fine.
I've told them I'm not but it doesn't seem to help matters...
God if they could just see and understand.
I average about 3 hours sleep a night, I'm like a zombie, but people just say "have a hot bath, drink some hot chocolate, have a long walk" that kind of stuff.
Like if that worked I wouldn't be doing it?!!
Lying awake all night on your own is lonely and sad, I don't want to feel this way.
I'm so sorry you've had similar experiences and I hope you are ok xxx
chris14174 audrey96558
Posted
thinking of you
Chris
chris14174 audrey96558
Posted
barbara03922 audrey96558
Posted
Have you had a good physical check up ? Just incase it could be accounted for in a different way.
I know you want it to stop . Those that have been there will understand, but you have to keep fighting, What about electric shock treatment ?When I was at that point I would have tried anything just to be here for my son. I was helped with Venlafaxine and have come back from that abyss. I feel as though you could do with a great big hug.
audrey96558 barbara03922
Posted
Yeah I've had full blood work done at GPs.
I've had glandular fever this year (my boyfriend is disabled so I stupidly just convinced myself it was a bad cold and kept on looking after him). I've got pernicious anaemia so now I need vitamin b12 injections every 3 months and I've also got an under active thyroid but they seem unwilling to treat this at present?
I think maybe my dr wanted to get the anaemia under control to see how I felt first.
I did feel better initially but lately this seems to have gone away again.
I'm just at a loss, my psychologist thinks I need more treatment but due to the chronic under funding in mental health services, I've had as many appointments with her as I'm entitled to and then that's it.
Back on the year long waiting list. It makes me feel a bit hopeless and more lonely.
Sorry for being a bore! xxx
anne240 audrey96558
Posted
Depression is bad enough, but the aging body is also difficult to cope with.
I got a dog once so I would have to go out and take him for walks. In all I had three dogs, two rescues, and oh so sad when they died, could not bear to get another. Just me and the cat now!!
At least you have people there to talk to. What I wouldn't give for someone to say to me, how are you? Would you like a cup of tea? But I have to do it all myself, even when I really feel so low.
I too have been on many anti depressants over many years. Seen psychiatristds, been in hospital, taken an overdose. Lost job, house, relationships. All because of depression.
Yes we feel sorry for ourselves, of course we do, but we have to struggle on as best we can.
I know what you mean about being scared about being scared and lonely. Me too. Yes, but will it stop?
Whatamess anne240
Posted
i wonder if you could think about getting in touch with the Cinnamon Trust and asking if there is anybody living near to you who needs help with their dog? Or is there a vet surgery where you could ask if they know of anybody who would like their dog walked each day. Maybe you have an animal rescue centre nearby, they always need volunteers to help walk, feed, clean etc their animals.
Whether any of this helps or not, I would like to wish you all the best x
1diamond_owl audrey96558
Posted
lina35146 audrey96558
Posted
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