Lonely

Posted , 6 users are following.

Why do I feel so alone?

I know it's part of my depression and anxiety and everything in between. I know that logically.

I know logically there are so many people out there suffering as much and more than me.

I just feel so alone.

I lie awake every night with people around me, my beautiful boyfriend is right there. I know I have it better than most but I just feel so alone.

I feel guilty for feeling this way.

I feel boring for feeling this way.

I know I have much more to give I just can't seem to do it?

I'm constantly reminded of how much I should be doing or giving, from family and friends, it's like they just don't get it.

I was supposed to go to Oxford or Cambridge, I've been told this since first school.

But I just can't.

I can barely get dressed.

I just feel so alone.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I've tried everything, so many antidepressants, CBT, counselling, psychiatry, psychologists... I just feel I am lost.

I am scared and lonely and tired. And even more scared of being scared and lonely and tired for much longer.

I just want it to stop.

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    I know exactly how you feel I have a couple of good friends but feel so alone and isolated and think they get fed up with me. I get up in the morning because of racing thoughts I can't bear them but once im up I don't know what to do. I have no routine and just want to do nothing. I think its part of the depression but then I start wondering if I'm just bored and fed up with my life. The constant routine of work sleep and housework seems endless and nothing to look forward to. But if we do something nice I don't enjoy it. Do you feel like that. Its horrible. I do feel for you and your family need to be more understanding. They wouldn't be saying things like that if you had a broken leg x
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    • Posted

      Yeah I feel exactly like that.

      It sometimes is so exhausting doing and feeling nothing? If that makes sense.

      My friends and family think they understand but they really don't, they think its like having a bad day or something... It's like having a bad day for years... Whilst hungover... Whist feeling guilty.

      I don't know if that makes sense?

      I just feel in this awful angry/guilty/sad/lonely fog all of the time. I wish to god I could get myself out of it. I just don't seem to be able to.

      I wish sometimes I did have a broken leg so people could understand, but I can put on a brave face as I normally do and people just think I'm fine.

      I've told them I'm not but it doesn't seem to help matters...

      God if they could just see and understand.

      I average about 3 hours sleep a night, I'm like a zombie, but people just say "have a hot bath, drink some hot chocolate, have a long walk" that kind of stuff.

      Like if that worked I wouldn't be doing it?!!

      Lying awake all night on your own is lonely and sad, I don't want to feel this way.

      I'm so sorry you've had similar experiences and I hope you are ok xxx

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    • Posted

      Oops sorry audrey my reply must have posted twice. Hope you're feeling a bit better than you were. I know how you feel but I also have terrible loud ringing in my ears and racing thoughts. My tongue also hurts at the moment think it might be anxiety

      thinking of you

      Chris

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  • Posted

    I know exactly how you feel I have a couple of good friends but feel so alone and isolated and think they get fed up with me. I get up in the morning because of racing thoughts I can't bear them but once im up I don't know what to do. I have no routine and just want to do nothing. I think its part of the depression but then I start wondering if I'm just bored and fed up with my life. The constant routine of work sleep and housework seems endless and nothing to look forward to. But if we do something nice I don't enjoy it. Do you feel like that. Its horrible. I do feel for you and your family need to be more understanding. They wouldn't be saying things like that if you had a broken leg x
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  • Posted

    Its really awful being so scared, isn't it. I know, I've been scared and anxious about being on my own so many times and been scared of myself. You can't get on with life whle you feel like that. All that anxiety is tiring, its burning up energy.

    Have you had a good physical check up ? Just incase it could be accounted for in a different way.

    I  know you want it to stop . Those that have been there will understand, but you have to keep fighting, What about electric shock treatment ?When I was at that point I would have tried anything just to be here for my son. I was helped with Venlafaxine and  have come back from that abyss. I feel as though you could do with a great big hug.

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    • Posted

      Hi,

      Yeah I've had full blood work done at GPs.

      I've had glandular fever this year (my boyfriend is disabled so I stupidly just convinced myself it was a bad cold and kept on looking after him). I've got pernicious anaemia so now I need vitamin b12 injections every 3 months and I've also got an under active thyroid but they seem unwilling to treat this at present?

      I think maybe my dr wanted to get the anaemia under control to see how I felt first.

      I did feel better initially but lately this seems to have gone away again.

      I'm just at a loss, my psychologist thinks I need more treatment but due to the chronic under funding in mental health services, I've had as many appointments with her as I'm entitled to and then that's it.

      Back on the year long waiting list. It makes me feel a bit hopeless and more lonely.

      Sorry for being a bore! xxx

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  • Posted

    Audrey that is my cry all the time.  Why do I feel so alone?  Well I do live alone, and I am elderly.  I have a cat for company.  I have family.  I have lived alone for 30 years and it gets harder and harder as I age. 

    Depression is bad enough, but the aging body is also difficult to cope with.

    I got a dog once so I would have to go out and take him for walks.  In all I had three dogs, two rescues, and oh so sad when they died, could not bear to get another.  Just me and the cat now!!

    At least you have people there to talk to.  What I wouldn't give for someone to say to me, how are you?  Would you like a cup of tea?  But I have to do it all myself, even when I really feel so low. 

    I too have been on many anti depressants over many years.  Seen psychiatristds, been in hospital, taken an overdose.  Lost job, house, relationships.  All because of depression.

    Yes we feel sorry for ourselves, of course we do, but we have to struggle on as best we can.

    I know what you mean about being scared about being scared and lonely.  Me too.  Yes, but will it stop?

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    • Posted

      Anne I feel for you as I know how the loneliness feels. I too have my cat as company and I also walk other people's dogs just to get me out into the parks. Animals are great companions but sometimes we need that love from a special person, who will understand and be supportive. I have never found my special person and doubt that I ever will, and can only see long dark lonely days ahead for myself.

      i wonder if you could think about getting in touch with the Cinnamon Trust and asking if there is anybody living near to you who needs help with their dog? Or is there a vet surgery where you could ask if they know of anybody who would like their dog walked each day. Maybe you have an animal rescue centre nearby, they always need volunteers to help walk, feed, clean etc their animals.

      Whether any of this helps or not, I would like to wish you all the best x

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  • Posted

    I don't understand what's really going on myself. I feel so sad and don't even know the reason why. I always think morbid thoughts like dying and no one will look after my 85 yrs old mum and my 3 kids. I don't mind staying at home all the time and I had to quit job because of these feelings. I barely sleep at night.3-4 hrs of sleep that is.I worry a lot about the future about so many things. tonight I really really feel so sad and down.I wanted to cry...
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  • Posted

    Hey, I know this answer is a bit late for this discussion, but I just read about your problem with vitamin b12 and pernicious anaemia. I had exact the same condition and was also depressed. I just feelt as lonley as you described here. And the hohle depression was just because of my vitnamin b12 deficeny. This is a  serious topic and three injections per week are not enough. You must have them at least every weak! I think it is also in your case possible that your depression is caused by this. I think it would be good if you would inform yourself more about this deficeny and also about its relation to depression. For me this changed everything. I hope you still read my reply. And sorry if my englisch is a bit bad it is not my mother language.
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