Looking for help

Posted , 9 users are following.

I have been very sad and lonely these last couple of months. I lost my mum last november but we werent that close and i hadnt seen her for years but it has affected me more than i thought it would. My step mum and dad split up a few years ago but i found out after i moved 200 miles away from my hometown with my step mum. I have always struggled with my confidence and do i am unable to open up to anyone, i havent kept in touch with any of my friends which is mainly due to my job as i work split shifts in a pub 6 days a week. I have set up this discussion as i dont know what to do anymore - i think i may have depression but im not sure and i am too scared to talk to anyone as i think they wont understand me or that they might judge me. I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy and i have started to cry for no reason and always feel down. I struggle to fall asleep at night but then i can't get up in a morning. I keep getting headaches and when people ask if im ok i just smile and say yes, although my boss is finding it hard to work with me recently as i havent been speaking much and he said i am miserable and not my happy self. Everything is building up inside me and i dont know what to do anymore can anyone help?

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    Bethany, have you considered visiting your doctor if nothing else, just to talk things over?

    Doctors are useful for a lot more things than dishing out pills, and as they swear an oath of confidentiality anything you say will be strictly confidential.

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  • Posted

    hi bethanya you really have been through a lot regards your mum do you find yourself wishing things had been different between you and your mum ! the headaches and crying maybe a sign of depression but go to your doctor and get a firm diagosis of want you are suffering from that way the doctor can give you something that may help you get better ! as for your boss they want to try walking in the shoes of someone who suffers with mental illness ! I do wish you well please take care david !
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  • Posted

    Hey,

    I know you're going through a hard time, and it's sad to hear, but you can talk to a lot of the people on this site about it as we've all been through our own degrees of suffering and depression. 

    I'm sorry about your Mom, that must be a very sad thing to deal with sad

    If you want to talk about it, feel free to message me. Sometimes just opening up with someone who can relate is a good first step to getting through everything. 

    I hope you feel well soon smile 

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  • Posted

    Thanks for the advice - as much as i think i need to go to the doctors for a diagnosis i am too scared and embarrased especially because i am shy and struggle with my confidence and dont like talking to peopke face to face i wouldn't know what to say and i dont want to waste their time.
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    • Posted

      Bethanya take what you wrote on your first post and give to the GP. You won't be wasting their time they understand that people can feel shy/nervous talking about emotional issues.
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    • Posted

      Hi Bethanya! I felt EXACTLY the same way as you did. I was so scared to bring up the topic with my doctor, but honestly - it was the best thing I ever did in my life!

      I actually did write on a piece of paper "I think I have depression" and slipped it over to him and his reaction was AMAZING! So kind and helpful! 

      Make an appointment today. Your life will get better I promise!!

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    • Posted

      How did you get the courage to go to the doctors and what sort of things did they ask - if you don't mind me asking. I am scared of people finding out if i have got something wrong especially family members and how they would react!
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    • Posted

      In the end I was just so desperate that I knew nothing else could help. And I can promise you that now (compared to 10 yrs ago) doctors and nurses are even BETTER! They listen to you, they may ask you how your sleep is, they may ask you what has happened in the past few months that really upset you, they may ask you about your appetite and if you feel like going meeting friends or rather staying at home and withdrawing.... there are so many things 

      Most importantly they will SUPPORT you in any way! Promise!

      Once you have talked to your doc and maybe have been perscribed an antidepressant you may want to tell your close family, but you dont have to. Nobody needs to know at first. There is a good chance that you feel better with an antidepressant and possibly a few visits with a psychologist or social worker after 2-3 weeks.

      There might not even a reason why you would need to tell anyone else but your medical team. 

      Once you feel better and more comfortable you can see who may be worthy of knowing about your depression. 

      And you know what my experience is? Once you open up to other people you find SOOOO many others that have similar problems!

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  • Posted

    Hi Bethanya, I will say that working split shifts does contribute to depression. You might try to spend some time outdoors; preferably in the morning.  If this is difficult, I would suggest getting a full spectrum lamp; one with 10,000 Lux.  Sit with it for maybe 15 to 30 minutes; depending on the results you get. Sometimes, you can do this once a day or twice a day. There are portable ones that you can take to work with you, if you sit in a cube or an office space.
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  • Posted

    Hi Bethany sorry hear the news regarding your mum, your feeling guilty over her because she was your mum I think everyone feels some sort of guilt when someone close to us dies even if there has been no contact for a long time, it shows that you are human and normal and have a heart. You should not feel embarrassed by the way you are feeling sometimes we all need a little help, please go to your doctor and explain to him

     

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  • Posted

    Thank you to all the replies it has helped a little bit to open up for once hopefully I will eventually find the confidence to see my gp and get the help I need
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