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I feel like im just losing every little but of me thats left. My doctors palm me off and are sick of me.
Ive been up since 5am head racing pacing the floor talking to myself i.e trying to tell myself to get a grip. Ive had to come down to just 7.5mg of mirtazapine because the side effects are making me very ill. Ive tried so many ads and seem to have sensitivity to them all. Im awaiting a psychiatric app to see what i can go on but that could be ages. Im a single mum of 3 teenage boys with no help. Signed off last 5 weeks. Unfortunately being stuck in makes you worse but psychically and mentally im not fit to work. I dont get sick pay and i am struggling to pay anything. This is the second long stint at being off so dont get employment support allowance either. I was off 5 months last uears after my depression got so severe after losing my mum. Id had depression before that but the tablets i was on no longer helped. Was put on mirtazapine last oct been up and down with dose as higher dose was causing severe anxiety and when i tried to come off them.in july i ended up in hospital for a week. So now im back on them. Ive been on just the smallest dose 7.5 now for about a week and a half and the decline of depression has now got me back in its clutches. I have a heavy menstrual period which i know will probably be making it worse. But im sitting here thinking i cant do this anymore. There is no point. As for going back to the doctors they dont care just tell me they havent got a magic wand. Ive had enough. There is nothing in my life i feel happy about at all and feel i need to end the pain. If i cant work ill lose everything
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