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Losing my mind.

Posted , 6 users are following.

nick34171
nick34171

Over the past two weeks, three, i have mentally and physically declined. i spend most of my time rocking when im alone, if i do this infront of others i get told off but it soothes me. i have been pulling out hair, scratching at my face, digging my nails into my palms to the point i can actually feel the bite, i have no purpose for being here im ill and everybody hates it, me, i hate it! I hate the  damn whole lot of it.  i just want to escape. i want to go to sleep and never wake up. the headache is so bad and its gone on for five days at max level. i cant do this anymore  i'm completely pathetic. And i lost control outside i pushed a guy on his a*se after he called me names. i thought i was getting better. i wont be able to see my dr til after weekend. im losing my mind i know i am. its all i ever had and now thats going too. im sorry. my dr already knows about the depression, should  i tell him that i think i might be going full tilt crazy?

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 nick34171

    Posted

    Hi nick

    Bless you reading through your post, I can see how very difficult things are for you right now. Firstly there's nothing wrong with rocking yourself to feel a little better. That is a human trait we adopt when in significant pain or discomfort. I don't think you are going crazy it's the illness making you believe that. I do think you need to get a meds review as clearly you need urgent relief from your suffering. For you to be hurting yourself and wishing not to be here suggests your depression is very bad right now. Can you not get an emergency appointment with your doctor rather than waiting until next week? I really think you need to get some medical help urgently. I think your headaches could also be caused by your high level of stress. You may feel like everyone hates you but that's just our minds feeding us negative thoughts. I'm sure there are many people that care and love you. Unfortunately people that have never suffered with depression or other mental health illnesses, don't really understand what we are going through most of the time eg we look well from the outside! Honey don't give up on yourself and please get an emergency appointment. In the meantime try and relax your mind by either playing music or watching TV. If you concentrate on the words of the music or the story line of a TV show it will send those negative feelings into hiding.

    Remember your life is a gift..you will get better. .and seek out help asap

    Here if you need me and you will find many other wise people here on this site that are also here for you xx

    God bless

    Let me know how you are getting on. Please try hard not to pull your hair or scratch yourself..you have no reason to punish yourself it's the illnesses fault...not yours!

    Hugs and blessings to you xx

    • hypercat
      hypercat lorraine52317

      Posted

      Lovely reply as usual Lorraine.   I couldn't have put it better myself.  Bev x
    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 hypercat

      Posted

      Hi bev

      I was thinking of you when I said wise people on this site! Your posts are always encouraging and empathetic. As mentioned before I truly believe that some people are heaven sent..you being one of them. Xxx

      How are things with you today?

      Thank you for the nice message it makes me feel more confident in trying to help others

      Keep in touch xxxx

    • hypercat
      hypercat lorraine52317

      Posted

      Aw bless you Lorraine love.   I always admire you coz you put such a lot of effort into your posts and you talk a whole load of sense.  Your kindness and empathy show in every word you write.   I often wish I could give such great replies as you but too often the words won't come and I give up.  

      You just keep on being your lovely self and carry on with your great replies. 

      I am fine thanks apart from a lingering cold which is very slowly going but the coughing is driving me mad.   How are you these days?    Love and hugs  Bev xx

  • lawrence82489
    lawrence82489 nick34171

    Posted

    Depression can play games with you sometimes believe me I know, try calm yourself down a little bit and stop stressing out about going "mad" it's just a feeling, your not mad at all! It's just a feeling Everyone gets it somewhere along the line. It will pass eventually and when it does you'll know your a stronger person. And when it gets too much and u just want to escape it's best to go for a long run and really push yourself you'll feel better for it! Hope you feel better soon bro
  • kru2511
    kru2511 nick34171

    Posted

    hey nick... things will be fine just don't lose hope... If there is no one, we are always there with you who can understand exactly how you feel... Yes you should share everything with your doctor they really help us out... (Telling from my personal experience) 
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