Loss of confidence

it's ok 

I know you didn't mean it ....I was joking ...

but you are so right about the body and the mind not realising they belong together 

Jean 

Oh tucks I feel sorry that you feel like this.  I hope you begin to feel better about it soon.  I think it is the tine of year that we seem to feel this way.   Let's face it who wants to do snything at the monent😔I know I don't.  You just look forward to the better weather when you won't want to stay indoors and I think you will be back to yourself soon.  Chin up xxx

Hi Tucks, I know just how you feel. I'm nearly 20 years younger than you but still lack confidence 6 months post op. As you know I've had an issue with pressure on the sciatic nerve which is slowly  improving but it still causes the muscles at the back of my leg to seize up and make the leg stiff. As a result I feel a bit unsteady on my feet even though I'm able to walk quite well and the knee itself is strong. I'm nervous  walking in the dark or when it's wet as I seem to be afraid of slipping. I don't say anything to anybody but it's very frustrating. We're off on holiday this week to the Canaries including a week's cruise. I'm looking forward to it but still have this nagging apprehension. I think the only way to regain confidence is to go ahead and do things so, hopefully, I'll feel better when I return. 

I hope you too can enjoy your social life again, Tucks. As time goes on we should get better not worse 😊 Take care, Jen x

Hi Jennifer, that's interesting. I have a trapped nerve in the sacral joint for which I had nerve block injections and it had gone. However post op it came back. I wonder for some of us this is a side effect of the op. Good news is it seems to be settling down again. Hope yours does as well. Enjoy your cruise.

Hi Suzanne, yes that is interesting. My physio says this is nothing to do with the knee but I think it must be due to the realignment of my leg and walking differently. My leg was very bent pre op and is now virtually straight. It's very annoying as the knee itself has recovered well. Never mind - I'm hoping it'll go eventually. Doing lots of exercises for it!! Hope your problem doesn't recur. 

I have the same thing, definitely realignment as my leg was so bent before op and now it s completely straight.  Seems worse after walking.

Thank you for your words of comfort sue, just been to my sons for lunch and the snowdrops in his garden are desperate to burst into bloom, can spring be far away? X

Hi Jen, I have exactly the same problem with the dark and the wet pavements . Thank you for yor kind and wise words and have a wonderful holiday and cruise, your body has earned it. I am off to cyprus early march and am determined to give it my best shot. Plenty of wine and food and hopefully warm days. X from tucks

Hi Susan before I had my op my leg turned very badly right from the knee downwards, I've just relalised its not doing that now its quite straight, whoopee, at least something's turned out right lol keep well from tucks 

Oh Tucks I so empathise with you...I too feel as if I've made a huge mistake and spoiled met twilight years

 y personality has changed too 

I used to go for a wander round the shops most days and have 3 holidays abroad every year in the Sun...now all I want to do is stay in the comfort of my own home where I feel safe.

i play scenarios in my head about not being able to climb the airplane steps very quickly and holding everyone up.

Live also lost my appetite and only eat because I should do.

any other time I'd have gone shopping and bought some smaller clothes but I just can't be bothered.

i think that about sums it up (can't be bothered) 

Old Misery

Jean 

 

sorry about typing mistakes I'm sure my keyboard has a mind of its own 

It will almost certainly improve, especially once the spring comes and the lighter nights. I was a just a young thing when I smashed my leg and had a plate (just 40) and it took a long time to get over the op and immobility for months. That also was mid-winter and it was definitely easier come the summer. 

When you fly you can ask for assistance boarding the plane - which really just means getting on first before the hoards pushing and shoving. I can't climb steps fast either - stuff the, they have to wait! Even better - you can ask for help getting round the airport!!!

And if this lasts much longer do go to your GP and tell them. You do sound as if it might be clinical depression - neither unusual or surprising and a bit of help might get you really back on your feet in every sense. There are a lot of reasons to do so - and it will make your "twilight years" as you call them far less dark :-) 

thank you Eileen

i must admit I have been wondering about depression...something I've never in my life suffered from.

i've always been a ...get on with it....sort of person.

i do see my Surgeon on the 25th of this month as he said if the knee is no better he will investigate further.

fingers crossed things will get better.

Jean 

Your body has been through a massive insult in the op and it really shakes anyone up. In addition, you have had your normal routine totally turned upside down and been stopped from doing things you have always done without a second thought. It is bound to lead to some "depressed mood" as they call it. Often you are not terribly fit by the time the op is done simply because of the problems walking that led to the need for the op - and that also makes a difference. Someone who is really fit having an op gets over it quicker, you were at a disadvantage.

Some 40 years ago a load of Marines in Arbroath in Scotland participated in a study. They did a fitness assessment on the Friday and then spent the entire weekend in bed in a hospital ward. They had no treatments of any sort, certainly nothing like an operation to cope with. Then they went back to their normal routine. It took them 6 weeks to get back to the same level of fitness as before that weekend in bed.

Think what you have been through - way more than 2 days in bed. Does that put it all in a bit happier perspective? 

it most certainly does put it more into perspective

i expected to fly through this op and recovery as I'm such a positive person.

but the recovery hasn't been as quick as I expected.

plus no information was given before the op 

i visit for pre op where they did tests but no explanation about what to expect.

a group of us were shown a knee prosthesis and told it was like getting hit by a bus.

if that's never happened to you (thank goodness) then how do you know what to expect .

the nurse who was in charge of the group said... It's selective surgery...you chose to have it ...so get on with it. 

Lovely bedside manner.

i wish I'd found this Forum before my op then I would have been better

prepared.

deep down I knew things were not  right as I spent 9 days in hospital as opposed to the usual 3 ..with no explanation why 

Tomorrow is another day and hopefully a better one for me

thank you Eileen you've explained more to me than the doctors ever did 

Jean 

 

Yes same as Susan and Jennifer my leg was quite bent pre op but now straight :-)

 

Oh Jean.. I think that nurse needs to be in a different job, we all know it would not be our choice to have dodgy knees.  

 

Wow, now that is something to think about.  2 days in bed, no medical intervention, and it took 6 weeks to return to normal.  No wonder it takes so long after surgery!

I've lost count of the people on various forums who have said that to me!

That nurse needs a smack! She obviously doesn't know the difference between "elective" and "emergency" surgery. Elective does not mean YOU made the choice to have it done, it means it was something that needed to be done but in the meantime you weren't going to become seriously ill or even die without it and it could be fitted in where possible, not in the next couple of days. That's why they are so often postponed when a road traffic accident fills the ortho beds and theatres. Surgeons are not in the habit of subjecting people to TKRs for the fun of it for a whole range of reasons - the benefit must outweigh the downsides or they won't recommend it at all. Particularly given the state of the NHS - though are you in the UK or the USA?

And it isn't entirely up to you to "get on with it" - you should have the right support in order to recover. Some hospitals are better than others at that it has to be said. Ask your surgeon when you see him why you were there for longer, if it wasn't because you didn't have the right back-up at home - because that DOES make a vast difference.

And I would write to the complaints department at the hospital and tell them about the rude and unsympathetic nurse. It would be interesting to know how many other patients she has hurt psychologically with her unprofessional attitude. Telling patients it is "like being hit by a bus" is NOT acceptable preparation for any form of surgery. 

Eileen - I too expected to fly through this surgery and be up and about normally by 6 weeks.

When I was 31 I had colon surgery where they removed a cancerous tumor and resected the colon.  6 months later the cancer had moved to my liver so they surgically removed 2/3rds of the liver.  Then I went through 5 weeks of daily radiation therapy where the nearest location for this was 100 miles away. So every day for 5 weeks I traversed a 200 mile round trip for radiation.  Then 5 years later the cancer moved to my lung and the right lung was surgically removed.  Within the last 2 years I have had 3 surgeries on my left foot.  The first surgery was to correct a hammer toe and the positioning of the other toes.  6 months later the surgeon announced that the first surgery didn't work so we went in for a 2nd surgery where this time he fused every toe and placed pins in each.  That surgery led to continued pain so they decided to amputate one toe and the related joint. 

I tell you this just to analyze the different major surgeries I have experienced.  I bounced right back from the three cancer surgeries, but not from the foot surgery.  Now, 10 weeks ago I had a complete replacement of the right knee.  Compared to the foot surgery, the knee has been great.  Now, the knee still stiffens and swells, but I am able to go about normal daily routines.  I am unable to do that with the foot due to extreme continued pain.

​The things we endure!!!!!!

Exactly! People expect to get up and rush around like they are 2 year olds and forget that being in bed for even a few days makes a massive difference to your muscles even without someone having chopped some of them about and taken a hack saw to your leg! That is part of the reason some surgeons like to use epidural anaesthesia with sedation where possible - because the GA also knocks the stuffing out of any patient and for an older person it is even more the case. And then you add in a few days with disgusting hospital food - I worked in a hospital 40 years ago where the food was outstanding, the head of the kitchens was passionate about good food, because it gets patients better quicker. We queued for the Christmas dinner, it was as good as we could make at home. How many hospitals in the UK can say THAT nowadays? Less sure about the US. Even my (very picky) husband commented how good the food was here in Italy when he had a Duyptrens contracture sorted this week - only the wine was missing! Just his pinky was chopped about, with no GA, but he is still feeling a bit wobbly after 5 days.

Many of these professionals have no idea what it is like to be on the other side of the hospital sheets! It should be part of compulsory training - because the ones who have walked in our shoes are definitely better at empathising. And the VERY good ones understand.

I've just posted a reply to you - there must be a typo because I'm sure i didn't put anything controversial! Whatever!

When a foot or leg hurts you cannot do anything without a struggle. But I imagine you are also just a few years older than with that first lot of surgery? ;-)

I can only say - thank goodness I haven't got your surgical history! On the other hand - they seem to have done pretty well by you one way and another. My husband had cancer 20 years ago and had a lung removed. Not lung cancer but the tumour was all mixed up with lung tissue. 7 lots of chemo to shrink a football sized tumour (lungs are very compliant, he had a cough!), surgery and then a month of radiotherapy. He's deaf and daft - but still very much here!

Yes, I was much younger with the first round of things.  I was 31 and 36 when all that happened.  But, I was working 40 hours weekly and rearing two small children.  I underwent the foot surgery at age 59, and now the knee at age 62.

Poor jean I do so emphasise with you , feeling of no interest, can't be bothered, unable to concentrate and silly little anxiety issues plague me constantly. Am going out to cyprus in march with my sister and her hubby, immediately the flight was booked I started,, what if I can't get up the steps of the plane, I take a little trolley dolly case and it has to go in the overhead comp, what if I can't get it up and down again. What if I haven't got enough leg room, what if I get so stiff can't get up and down for the loo?how will I cope on the return journey when it will be dark? My brother in law has recently had hip replacement so will be unable to help. Jean this time last year I would never have had these thoughts and anxiety . It's just not me. Why am I so worried and afraid? It has got to be the damn op . Bet your fed up with my moaning posts, I've never been a moaner or a worrier. Lets hope when the spring comes and the weather is kinder we will start to look forward again take care my friend its so good to be able let go and a trouble shared is a trouble halved x

hi Tucks

i too have never been a moaner ...I've always been the one that everyone leans on .....but now I've learned to say ...NO I CAN'T DO IT....

i understand your fears about Cyprus ...why don't you just take a small hand luggage on the plane which will tuck under the seat in front so you can get to it when needed.

i've done that on my last few flights and found it much easier.

and I will pay for extra leg room if I ever decide to fly again sometimes you can get offers on the price ....anything for extra comfort.

i daren't even think about booking a holiday until I've seen my Surgeon on 25th this month

maybe my holidays from now on will be in the UK.... I thought of coach holidays... But then the travelling could be a nightmare.

ladt year I had a wonderful coach trip round the west coast of Scotland it was wonderful but it entailed a lot of coach travel.

sigh.....I want my life back ....

Jean 

 

oh my word

you have been through the mill ..but thankfully you're still here to tell the tale

what a brave person you are and an inspiration to us all 

Jean