Lost touch with reality

Posted , 21 users are following.

I have so many different aches, pains, sensations I don't know whats normal or whats not anymore! I am so fed up with questioning everything, my life has been taken over with my health worries. I never used to be like this, I look at other people and wonder what it feels like to get up each morning and just live your life without worry. I have seen my gp but they just offer anti depressants which I dont want to take. Does anyone else feel like this? My world seems to be getting smaller and smaller, I hate going to social events now and I just want to stay in my house. I keep praying for a miracle but it never comes. Can any of you lovely ladies offer any advice or just tell me you know how I feel xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Caroline, I know exactly how you feel. Last year, for 6 months I was either at the doctors office or hospital nearly every week. Passed around to different specialists. Convinced I had some rare disease that they were missing. My days consisted of googling symptoms, self diagnosing and talking to anyone who would listen about my problems. I lost 15 lbs. Looked and felt horrible. Just wanted to be left alone.

    I feel no better this year than I did last year. I am just dealing with it better. I finally figured out that I was making myself insane. I know only go to the dr for follow ups. have tried things along the way to make myself get better...Lexapro for 3 months, did not work, made me worse. Just had to stop birth control last week after only 3 weeks because it made my migraines worse. Feeling frustrated and discouraged, but, I will keep on trucking, so to speak.

    I get all the normal peri symptoms, but, am mostly having an awful time with migraines and off balance feelings and fatigue. Going next week into the city to see a neuro who specializes in balance, inner ear issues. I am at the end of the line...if he cannot help me, I just do not know what to say.

    I have gone from the most independent, resourceful, reliable, energetic, outgoing person to some withdrawn disaster that cannot be counted on for anything. I look around me and everyone is posting their vacation crap on FB, drinking, abusing their already unhealthy bodies. I have never done any of that...I wonder what the hell I have done to be feeling so lousy.I am just thankful that I have an awesome husband and 2 great kids. Hang in their my dear...surely this has to end at some point. Hugs to you and the rest of us strong ladies!

  • Posted

    yes been like this for 3 years and got worse, anxiety depression blackness and aches all over inside and out, on anti depressan ts they dont work neither does hrt, at the mo i see little point in anything they say it passes but i doubt it.sorry but its awful the menopause

  • Posted

    It is true Caroline, all this hormonal hell can make you feel like you are convicted by God for committing sth really awful. Like a punishment for being a woman...

    About world perception, in this phase I became introvert and I am experiencing agoraphobia moments but at the same time more mature about life . But I miss so much the days that I was energetic and normal.

    I am praying for a miracle too. I am going to the church everyday and I believe that God will not abandoned us.

    The thoughts about comparing myself with other people's lives can make me feel so depressed. I try not to do that to myself. I know that many people around us are suffering with fatal diseases or are disabled even children so I am trying to make positive thoughts as I can.

    • Posted

      LOVE your post Evi! Raw, honest and right on point!! You give this horrible "new normal" hope.

  • Posted

    Hi, ditto to everything you and the other ladies are saying. i have been like this for almost 2 years.

  • Posted

    Hello Caroline

    and all of the ladies here that have posted. And happy thanksgiving for those who care.

    i am thankful everyday..so it another thanksgiving for me

    I have been also going through this for aprox. 2 yrs give or take, and have had PLENTY of internal dialogue in attempts to "help' 'save' 'figure out' myself to no avail.

    What i have discovered is that there is nothing nor anyone that can help us through this or out of this but ourselves and father time.

    This is a shift in our lives that we must try to accept with grace and humor. Instead of fighting this, and wanting it to be the way it used to be, just accept it, and know

    that all 1,387 symptoms associated with meno/peri etc.pause, are all part of the acceptance.

    We can not fight it but just do what we know is best, and that is to take care of ourselves physically and mentally.

    The endocrine system in basically our foundation of stability,, so when it is in flux, or decline or incline..its constantly changing, and they all are based on a feedback loop..

    this is part of the transformation, its just how it is.

    So now when i have anxiety about anything going on with me (and i still do) i tell myself that its just part of the whole thing.

    My digestion, heart, sleep patterns, aches, pains, headaches and mood above all things are all affected by this change that im going through.

    Its a total rewiring of our selves.

    We have to accept it, not fight it. There is a reason why we isolate, why everything bugs us, why we arent rational, why we are scared, why we seek help from society (docs)..

    we just have to go through the storm.

    Nothing is going to make it all better nor antidepressant nor hormones , nothing. It might

    ease the suffering a bit (or we tell ourselves this)

    but i think that long term, it doesnt allow us to deal head on with who we are or who we are becoming.

    Im the first person to try everything, and if it works more power to you..

    But ive been going round and round, and ive discovered that ever so slowly im changing, and going through the storm.

    Its taking a long time, and theres a lot more to go, but i dont think it ever ends really..we need to mature and face our demons, and angels, and embrace everyday..

    trust me..i was very vain before , and clung on to my image, my ego, and the material to an extent. Im not that person anymore, and thats ok..im not SUPPOSED to be that woman anymore.

    This forum is fantastic and through all of this ive become a better person,, as depressed or crazy that i might feel, i reach out to someone every single day and touch them, whether its listening to a patient, my boys, a neighbor, whoever.

    Lots of love to you ladies

    x0x0x0x

  • Posted

    im so thankful that you posted this and for all of the responses. i cant agree more with what everyone has posted. Just this morning, my thoughts were something like this...i cant do this anymore. I give up trying to stop worrying and be happy and carefree like people i see around town or friends/family I see on FB. They all seem to be living and enjoying life. WHO am I anymore? EVERYTHING you said is so true to my existence 90% of the time. I take antidepressants. They dont work. Last night I was online reading about how to help hypochondria. Because that is basically what I have become. i pray that this ends. I give up. i want to fight, but its exhausting. As you can tell, you are not alone and we all very much understand and will be here to listen.

  • Posted

    i feel i have wrote exactly the same on some forum regarding this, i have been in the hell hole a year now and my health anxiety is awful and you like me look at other women and wonder why are they happy and healthy and can cope with life , i cant even work , my only godsend is my hubby is wonderful and so patient whilst im pacing the floor worrying why my hearts racing , my head hurts then pains in my stomach oh the list goes on.. i bathe every night in epsom salts and take my CBD OIL , it has helped me a bit ... thinking of you all

  • Posted

    Caroline,

    I know exactly how you feel. I have been in peri 5 years now and this has been my worst year. I don't even know myself anymore. I have always had a bit of depression, but never in my 47 years have I been so upset and felt so terrible. I have this constant fear that hangs with me. I feel alone. Anxiety that will not go away. I feel like crying all the time. I am just a shadow of my old self. I used to enjoy spending time with family and friends. Now I avoid social situations because I never know how I'm going to feel. My symptoms right now are upset stomach, nausea, anxiety, bloating, cramps, phantom gall bladder pains (I had my gall bladder removed 8 years ago), sadness, sore muscles, pain under my ribs, hot flushes and the list goes on and on. The symptoms are always present in some form. Seriously, some days I feel like I'm going crazy. I just want to feel like myself. I question every little ache and pain. I cannot remember the last time I had a day where I felt fine. I look at myself and think THIS IS NOT ME!

    Last year my natural wellness physician confirmed that I was most definitely in perimenopause. I still have sporadic periods, but was told my hormone levels (progesterone, estrogen and testosterone) were extremely low. I was prescribed BHRT but was afraid to take it for fear I might feel worse. I recently saw my doctor again and asked for the lowest dose BHRT, as I was tired of feeling sickly all the time. I have the hormones and I am going to begin taking them to see how I feel. My doctor said it will help with many of the symptoms I'm experiencing. I truly hope so. I need some relief because I don't know what is normal anymore.

    I am so sorry you are going through this! Please know you are not alone in all of this! I am sending well wishes to you and hope that you begin to feel better soon. BIG HUGS--Sarah

  • Posted

    OMGosh I wish I could do what I did 5-10 years ago.. Full of energy, never tired and no worries!! Now , I'm exhausted all the time and I don't know why other than hormones and worries. Just a couple days ago I was so freaked out by Thanksgiving and Christmas-- My anxiety was sky high, appetite gone and I didn't know what to do. Today, is Thanksgiving and I made it thru.. The last few weeks my right ankle has been hurting here and there-- which I can't pinpoint on why. Yesterday my shoulder was giving me problems. I'm dizzy/spacey mostly. I don't do errands/shopping until I really need something. I still don't understand why so many people are out and about all happy and excited especially women my age. Or maybe they are like me and faking it.. Just hang in there and be kind to yourself.. I do find that when i do get out and accomplish something, I do feel better..

  • Posted

    ditto to every single thing you and the ladies have said...

    im sick and tired of feeling sick and tired

    hugs to you all

  • Posted

    i know its sad to say, but i really needed to know i wasn't alone today too.((hugs for everyone)).

    • Posted

      lluv you 2ch and the rest.

      No youre not alone here.

      Xo

  • Posted

    Thank you so much ladies for all your replies, just knowing your not alone helps, I have no one to talk to about this as no one I know is going through it. I lost my mum 5 years ago so I cant ask her how she felt, my husband is great and listens to my worries but he doesn't really understand, I found myself pouring my heart out to my stepdad last night and crying buckets of tears! I have tried every natural remedy going with no positive results, I think i am going to accept that this is how things are at the moment and just take things day by day. One of the things I find difficult is putting on a brave face, when people ask if Im ok I just want to scream 'No Im not' but people dont really want to hear that. I am so thankful for this forum I think i would have gone mad without it xxx

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