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Lots of things wrong for several years

Posted , 2 users are following.

Meowkachu
Meowkachu

Hi, I've never really done a forum discussion before but I feel like this time it's necessary for me to get help. I'm almost 18, and a lot of the issues I've been having are ones I've been too afraid to tell anyone because I don't want to stress out my family.

I had a really bad family event happen about 6 years ago, and ever since then I've had depression that's been slowly getting worse to the point that it gives me extreme headaches that feel like my head is bleeding. And in a few cases, I've felt something burst in my head and after that be in extreme pain for 3-5 days after until it heals. Sometimes when my depression gets bad, I feel numbness in half my body that leads to me not being able to talk or think clearly.

But there's times too when the headaches return out of nowhere and it creates mood swings for several days for me. This usually happens about 1-3 times a month. Even if I'm happy, the symptoms return just they usually aren't as painful or emotionally straining.

During the times where it feels like bleeding is happening, my thoughts just flood with thoughts of suicide like I'm not good enough for anyone and that I should give up on myself because nobody cares, and many more things as well. When I cry my head starts to hurt less sometimes but when I stop the pain returns.

It may also be important to note that as a child and occasionally as I've gotten older, I've had iron deficiencies and have to take vitamins to stop things like dizziness, fainting spells, and lighter headaches from happening.

And maybe another note is that the thoughts primarily come at night time around 9 or 10 right before I'm about to go to bed or when I'm laying there reflecting about my day. When I wake up most times they go away but some may stick around and continue to bother me for awhile.

Lately I've been happy, but I still get the periodical headaches and feelings of doubt. And there's a lot more I haven't included, but I really just want to know how to stop the headaches and if anyone can give me legitimate advice on how to stop my thoughts from becoming corrupt too, itd be very much appreciated.

In the early stages of when the event first happened with my family, I had to go to a counselor and I have had two of them tell me they cannot help me because what I have is something I have to deal with on my own, but it's to the point where a lot of the time I don't even know what's wrong with me because I'll be on the top of the world and just a few bad thoughts can shoot me down.

0 likes, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • patient_mod2
    patient_mod2 Meowkachu

    Posted

    Hi Meowkachu,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    If you are based outside of the UK.

    The Samaritans is a UK based charity, but they also have suggestions for how you can access help in other countries.

    Please have a look at this page https://www.befrienders.org/directory

  • emmac23
    emmac23 Meowkachu

    Posted

    How are you feeling now? I understand my reply is late, I have just seen your discussion now.

    Are you feeling better? maybe you should be getting a CT brain scan. Doesn't sound great to be honest.

    When I had anxiety I had headaches but never as bad as that and I know everyone is different but this just doesn't sound okay.

    Be strong and keep your head up.

    You are amazing and don't forget that.

    You are important to you and you need to find other help if they are that bad to tell you to manage alone.

    You should find more help, maybe the Samaritans UK? They are great, do not be embarrassed to talk to them. I was and they comforted me.

    Take care,

    Emma - UK

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