Love-hate

Posted , 6 users are following.

Lying on the floor in the dark, music on top volume, i realise that i hate who i am. I hate what the people i've surrounded myself with have made me feel like i need to be. I hate what i've done in moments of pain. In my head i know it was justified, but in my heart i wish i could erase my past and myself.

But at the same time i love myself so stupidly, crazily, madly and i wish i could fix myself...but how? How can i fix something i hate?

2 likes, 11 replies

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Liz I hear you're having a strong love/hate relationship with yourself. You seem to be beating up on yourself for decisions you've made and things that you have done in your past. Right? We have all made mistakes and though we can't change our past we can change what we do today and tomorrow and forgive ourselves for our past. You are being too hard on yourself. What would you say to a friend that came to you and told you about themselves what you just told us about you?? Would you beat up on them? No of course not. I suggest counseling to unravel some things and talk things out and maybe some meds. We are here for you we care let us know how you feel. Diane

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  • Posted

    Hi Liz - everyone can relate to your post at some stage in their lives. If you haven't got regrets, you haven't lived life. Nothing is perfect, and certainly not the clumsy, fallible, limited human being who is just being human. Any past regrets are there to ponder but not to dwell on. No amount of self-recriminations will undo what's done, we can only learn from the experience and try to do better in the future. 

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  • Posted

    Love/hate describes a lot of us so accurately!

    I sometimes look back on a few past events of my life and I hate myself for the way I reacted or behaved. But then I realise it's in the past. Things have changed since then, mostly for the better.

    Listening to music is a great way to relax your mind, as is taking up a hobby or continuing with one which you may have neglected. A little time to help yourself should make you love yourself a bit more :-)

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    • Posted

      Oh that's great to hear! 

      I have a few things to worry about in life at the moment, but I'm helping myself by getting back into drawing and painting which I haven't done for... too long. It's something to look forward to, which makes you that little bit happier. Baby steps, but steps nonetheless :-)

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    • Posted

      I love art. I think it's one of the purest things we as humans can do... I think i feel the way about writing as you feel about drawing and painting so i'm going to take the inspiration from you and start writing again.

      I'm glad you've found your "help". I hope your passion for it will be enough to keep you going when you need the motivation.

      Thank you, also, for the conversation. It's good to know i'm not alone smile

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    • Posted

      I used to love writing too! I was good at fiction when I was at school (if I do say so myself!) but haven't had much time or inclination to follow it much since.

      Set yourself a few dates, put on some uplifting music, make a cup of tea or whatever your poison, then start writing. Maybe look online for any short story or poetry competitions. Go for it!

      I'm here to listen if you need a private chat too. :-)

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  • Posted

    Hi Liz

    Love and hate sometimes could be feelings that are hard to follow. 

    Although you cannot erase your unworthy-remembering stories in the past, they can be a great piece of life lesson to you for sure. Time does fly so fast, try not to give meaning to those people who make you unhappy. You don't need to fix something you hate. Time will gradually heal and change you not to hate something. Instead, appreciate more. <3 

     

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