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Afew days ago I brought to a close my 16 yr relationship? A monumental decision what needed to be made? Realising I am now totally alone I decided to brave the elements I put on my shoes (and other clothes obviously) and I took myself out and went for a walk? It was a lovelly sunny morning and my confidence grew with every step, my euphoria was short lived however when people/friends I hadn't seen in a while kept asking how I was or commenting on my health? (Had a breakdown didn't ya, hospitalised wernt ya) others asking "any money to lend me til I get paid" it all became too much and off home once again I set. Mulling the days events over in my head became incessant and felt another breakdown was on the cards. The next day I went out again even finding myself visiting the library, that was great for a while but when the crowds came I felt claustrophobic had to leave, my mistake came by way of approaching the pub and then not passing it but entering, people where happy to see me and although comments were made (health etc) I tried not to care and just got drunk? It didn't help in anyway but at the time it felt like it did, alcohol doesn't solve problems it only creates them the next day I done the same only worse as I also drank at home and then hit this forum which I sincerely apologize for, I woke up early yet again after only 2 hours sleep, no real hangover just the thoughts of the past fewdays running through my mind and I've been sitting here since, my self esteem shot to hell almost to the brink of madness but although the impulse to now drink again is strong I won't be doing it and I've realised that "FOR ME" going out is not the right thing to do at this time. I thank you all for your patients and again I apologise for using this forum while under the influence. Tha ns guys
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