Maybe killing yourself is just the best way
Posted , 7 users are following.
I am a 28 years old man. I have been worried about various things all my life as far as I remember. Recently it became much worse. Sometimes I just want the day pass and I come to stay in my bed foreever. I have been to doctors, hospitals many times for different reasons such as diabetes, hyperthriodism, stomach ache, neck ache. Usually nothing serious.
I recently started a new business invested all my savings but instead of working to become successfull, I keep worring that for example that people dislike me, that I will never achieve success. It has been 4-5 months that I didn't sleep a night-lenght sleep, always waking in the middle of the night and stay awake till morning, go work exhausted with a horrible face. in the past weeks I have been thinking maybe killing it is just the best way. I dont want to do that but I cannot let my potential melts in front of my eyes and I do nothing.
0 likes, 12 replies
ashley16278 Ali42620
Posted
archemedes Ali42620
Posted
I know how isolated you must feel, but this is just a passing feeling brought-on by a very high level of anxiety, and one day it will disappear and it will be is if has never blighted your life.
Just starting a new business in itself is a very stressful thing to do that carries it's own worries without everything else on top, so I can appreciate how and why you are feel the way that you do.
Tell me Ali, do you take any medication at the moment, and have any friends or family members that you can talk to who might give you some support?
Ali42620 archemedes
Posted
archemedes Ali42620
Posted
It is your perrogative to decide whether to accept medication or not, but many people suffering from anxiety disorders do get some relief from them.
Ending ones life is completely final, and removes any opportunity to put things right in ones life.
I know that this might appear easy for me to say but difficult for you to put into practice, you really need to give yourself a break.
I am 70 years of age now but in my younger years I suffered with anxiety and depression very much as you do.
As a youngster I was part of a family who had very little. To make things worse my father died young from injuries that he had sustained during the war, so I had to be brought up my my mother alone who had to work 6 days a week to just put bread on the table.
When I was an adolescent I needed to try and get on, but all the cards seemed stacked against me. I was depressed - very depressed. I refused to give up and I managed to get myself a job which offered me a low wage, and certainly not enough money to support my mother who was by then quite ill - but it was a job.
When I was 26, having reached the point where I realized that I was unlikely to ever get anywhere by working for anyone else I attempted to get my own business together. This this was very difficult as I was still studying and trying to work as well.
Depression set in again, and like you I seriously thought of ending it all.
I recall one time when I was at my lowest point sitting with a pile of tablets and a bottle of whisky in front of me and thought about my next move. I took all the tablets and washed them down with the entire bottle of whisky thinking that this was the end.
A day later I woke up and I thought carefully about what I had just done. An immense feeling of relief flowed over me that I had failed in my attempt to kill myself, and at that point I considered myself to be very very fortunate indeed to have survived.
It occurred to me that I had been so incredibly selfish and stupid, because where there is life there is also hope.
I used that sad experience in my life to move on and to make my mind up never ever to go to that same pit of despair ever again.
Subsequently I met a wonderful woman who became my wife. We had some great children, and I also managed to struggle through and get a business going which later turned-out successful.
As I said when I started, I am now 70 years of age, still happily married and have some great grandchildren.
The moral of this true story is that no matter how bad you think things are if you don't give up there is always hope at the end of the tunnel.
So hang in there Ali, you will make it.
francesca45319 archemedes
Posted
Ali I hope you get some strength from Archemedes' experiences. Please talk to a professional about the way you are feeling and please don't write of medication millions of people take them for a good reason. You take medication for your diabetes or thyroid despite possible side effects?
Best wishes.
Francesca
Jim1234 archemedes
Posted
archemedes Jim1234
Posted
Yes I am also a Diabetic with peripheral neuropathy, and yes I also have a spinal stenosis and other medical problems, but please take note that I did survive a selfish and stupid attempt at suicide in my younger years when everything seemed hopeless - and that said, I did later make a good life for myself and my family.
It takes time folks and not expecting too much from ourselves in the meanwhile.
When I look today at my fantastic grandchildren who say ' I love you grandad', I reflect on that day when there could quite easily have been no wife, no grandchildren, no future at all for me - no anything - just death.
So just look and learn, particularly to have patience with yourselves.
Everything works out fine in the end if you give it a chance.
Jim1234 Ali42620
Posted
Ali42620
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I feel like as if I have been tapped on my shoulders by your helpful words. It feels good.
You guys are right. I think I do need some medicines since I am still living this life. I need something that relief my mental pains but do not turn me into a robot at the same time. I will still need to do my daily necessities. Any such medice that someone could advice me?
Thank you
archemedes Ali42620
Posted
When it comes to advice we on this forum can and will try and support you with general advice taken from our own life experiences concerning how to cope with anxiety problems, because many of us have suffered from similar difficulties to you.
However what we cannot and should not do is to advise you about which medications you should be taking, as this is something that only your own doctor should be doing, after all he/she knows what physical condition you are in at any given time.
As I see it you have nothing at all to lose and everything to gain by seeking a consultation with your GP.
If you feel that you don't receive the medical support that you need from your own GP then change to one that that suits you better.
After all this is your life that we are talking about and it is important.
So why not take the bull by the horns and do it?
Ange1a Ali42620
Posted
You have started a new venture, which you want to succeed. To do that, you need to think positive thoughts. Regularly thinking certain thoughts helps make it a habit. And much better to have a positive habit than a negative one.
Try identifying things that you want out of this business - this will give you something tangible to aim for.
Regarding worrying about what people think - it's a tough one to take on board - but many people like a success story... however a number of people don't. This is usually because they are jealous that someone else has succeeded where they themselves have failed.
Don't let someone hold you back because you are worried about what they think of you. Stand in front of the mirror every morning and tell yourself three things you like about yourself. Feel more confident in yourself and you will reflect this in your body language and how you interact with other people. People will pick up on these subtle signs.
I can't stress how important it is to think POSITIVELY. If you tell yourself you are going to fail, you will fail.... So instead tell yourself that this is going to be a success. If you constantly take positive steps you will get there eventually.
Good luck.
Ali42620 Ange1a
Posted