Menopause crisis

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Menopause crisis, My life fell apart June 2013 after having my overies removed due to a large cyst. I was told that this would cause an immediate medical menopause due to the sudden stop in oestregen. I wasnt told anything else other than the surgeon wrote tomy doctor saying this lady may require some hrt help. Well i was completly un-prepared for what followd. within two months l was an emotional wreck crying morning noon and night, flushes all the time and my whole body aching so badly l could hardly walk mornings, l felt 90 not 55. I stupidly carried on until the following may going down down down until l pleaded for help from my doctor. My mother had died from breast cancer so l really didnt want HRT but bu now l was desperate. The doctor did blood tests and my Oestregen level had gone from 400 and something to 27, you need HRT she said. By now my confidence and self esteem were on the floor. I was a nervous wreck, permantly anxious and crying all the time like a tap. I felt so insecure like l was not a woman anymore, l felt threatened by every lovely female that came near and it felt so real and frighteneing. The terrible arguments it has caused due to this sudden extreme insecurity was devasting on our marriage of 34 years. My husband didnt know what to do with me or what on earth had happened to me, its been a hell rise and the docs seem to know nothing.Antidepressants are all that they offer or a self esteeem couse. I did it all and nothing worked,the self esteem courses said l didnt have a problem in any other area just this awful personnel loss of esteem and confidence. I have now had Estorel 50 patches of hrt for nearly 7 1/2 months and l still feel awful. The flushes stopped quickly and the terrible aches and pains within 3 months but the emotional side is debilitating still.I have stopped so many normal things due to anxiousness and l still feel so fearful around attractive woman, its like im another person in another body with another personality and brain. So scary and so alone. I hope there are some other woman out there that can help with this so l dont feel such a freak. Help Help 

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh Susan im so sorry you're having such a horrid time :-( it's as if because your body hasn't had time to adjust to the changes they've just hit your body like a sledgehammer and it doesn't know how to cope. The feeling around lovely women is your head not accepting this change, the realisation we are getting older and there's nothing we can do. I've struggled and still do with that thought as only 4 years ago I had a baby! and now my body is reminding me continuously I'm getting old :-( somehow you need to break down each section of doubt, fear, anxiety to someone, not your husband though. I went to a Reiki session which was amazing I cried like a baby :-) and also have reflexology which can pick up where your body is struggling. Just hang in there, I know easier said than done. I don't have a magic potion, I wish I did, but we are all here to support each other.
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  • Posted

    Awwwwwww......you poor thing.   I soooo feel for you.  I feel similar as it's hit me hard too and very suddenly.  And it's bloody tough.  Tracky has some good words of advice.  Go easy on yourself.....find what works for you.....and draw comfort from the all the lovely women on this forum xxx
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  • Posted

    Oh yes.....and as for feelin insecure around "attractive women"........EVERYBODY has their own insecurities, they just on the whole, don't show them.  So....you will be surprised how many of these "attractive women" are looking at you and thinking exactly the same thing as you are......!!!!!xx
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  • Posted

    Hi Susan,

    I went through a very similar experience to you when I was 29. I just had 1 ovary removed but within 12 months the other ovary failed. My poor daughter got the brunt of my moods as I was on my own at the time. I went through hell, I didn't think I would ever have a relationship ever again. I tried 2 types of hrt tablets before they got it right and I have been on them now for about 15 years. It took me a very long time to heal emotionally as I was so young, but I am now very happily married to a very lovely man and have a hrt that really works well for me. Go back to your doctor and see if there's anything else you can try or even try a higher dose hrt patch.

    Good luck!

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    • Posted

      Hi glennie68 thanks for replying,could you tell me a bit about why it was hell and what u felt like. Did you loose ur confidence and self esteem and were u very anxious around people especially lovely woman. I'm so desperate to know if it's just me xxx 
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    • Posted

      Hi Susan,

      I just had no confidence - I felt old before my time and because I'd been through a divorce, I felt very undesirable. What really didn't help was a trip to the hospital to have a male gynecologist tell me that my mood swings, sweats and lack of periods were 'all in my head' and that my periods would come back as I probably had a 'glitch'. He didn't do any blood tests. I went back to my doctor who took 3 blood tests 3 months apart - each one had higher and higher fsh readings - and he said without a doubt I had gone through menopause! I didn't really get jealous of women in general - but I was jealous of the ones who could have babies! It takes a bit of time to come to terms with it - and the HRT helps me to feel as normal as can be.

      You have to understand that you are going through the grief of no longer being fertile - and you think that you can't be loved because of this. But you can - and you will.

      Just because you are at this crossroads doen't mean you are not beautiful or desirable anymore. I met the love of my life after being on my own for 8 years!  And there is one plus point as after a couple of years - you don't need to worry about contraception! 

       

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  • Posted

    you cant go on like this.

    you are getting deeper into this rut.

    i guess you have given up.

    anti depressants will make you like a zombie in the end.

    i think you need to take stock my love and get that HRT into you.

    it really will make a difference.

    you might'nt get the correct one at first but stick at it.

    it will give you your confidence back and that will make you feel all woman again.

    please dont let this situation win.

    and please keep us all informed as to your progress.

    live for today Susan.

    Angelina Jollie had her breasts removed,her choice, and is still the person she was before.

    just think of all the young women out there that have total hysterectomies

    its a total shock to your hormones but keep in mind your menopause cant have been far away.

    get your lippy on and get out there girl.

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  • Posted

    Hi Susan 

    so so sorry to hear how you have been suffering.  I have had an amazing result with acupuncture, don't give up looking for the right treatment for you. 

    Just remember you are not alone, and you will get lots of support from all the ladies on here.

    As others have said, don't let this beat you!

    Good luck.

    Viv

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  • Posted

    Susan you are not alone!  I can not believe they did not start you on hrt immediately.  LIke the other women have said you may need to try other types of hormones or dosages.  I  was weaning off my hrt for a year and crashed.  I had no idea the symptoms were so plentiful.  Even though my GP knew I was weaning off and presented her with ailments she did not associate it with menopause.  I was stone cold, achey from head to toe, tired, dizzy, uti, hot flashes, night terrors, starting to feel depressed and anxious.  Blood work came back great every time.  Finally I realized it was menopause.  I went back on my hrt regularly and I agree the physical ailments subside.  The emotional issues take longer to overcome.  In this state I think we all develop some anxiety to something that is not rational.  It is just our mind not in balance yet.  I was never anxious or depressed.  I was always the calming factor for everyone.  Now I am anxious over ridiculous situations!  I tell myself how ridiculous it is.....but do I listen? NO.  Your poor body has been under so much stress and Im sure you were worrying about it all that time.  So it will take time and maybe a little tweeking of the hrt. 
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