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Whenever I think of trying to get job I feel it will make me more mindless and misrable if I start working, I am young and have many beliefs about work that don't fit the norm.. rebelious too some maybe, like I don't think anybody should slave away all week because whats the point in living if you only work then complain you can't have any time too yourself, problem is most people need the money or else.. I'm currently on a benefit which means as long as im ill I don't need to work, but I think work is exactly what could help me no longer be Ill.. though it could potentially make e a whole lot worse, yet as you can see I have a very negative thought train about the idea of work and always have done.. I don't understand if it means theres somthing wrong with me, because I'm not lazy,I love doing things (maybe not chores :p) and have enjoyed some work in the past.. but all I get now when I think about it is stress and a horrible feeling.. I worry about never working and feeling like i've done nothing,but I also feel that work shouldnt define me either.. some would say get a good balance betwen the two but then its not actually fincially benfical to even work less hours = less pay = same amount I get roughly for doing nothing but can do whatever I want whenever.. only I'm stuck with lonliness and the stigma of being unemployed... which lately I keep getting asked So what do you do... which I have to anwser.. err nothing. If anyones been in this situtation before any insight in what I should be aiming for or somthing would be great.. Just very confused.. perhaps its gonna be a common thing for people my age growing up, I'm 21 incase anyones wondering had a job for a few weeks which was a misrable experience when I was 17, not worked since, Reason this is in depression is because of the saddness I feel etc.. I don't think its linked to anxiety so depression is the closest thing I can put it too, I also couldnt cope with someone being rude to me, I dont put up with it and refuse too as I am not below anyone else nor above them,I feel somtimes as if there is no place for me as I refuse to become a mindless drone that just obeys but asks no questions, I could keep going on about stuff all day so al shht and see if anyone has any insight?
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