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I'm quitting Mirtazapine 45mg. I've decided to suddenly stop (not recommended) . I'm aware that you can always feel worse than you can imagine despite saying ' I couldn't feel any worse' if that makes sense. mentally ill is bad, mentally ill and chemically ill may prove fatal.? Confused and scared to be honest.The NHS has failed me big time. 'professionals' have forgotton appointments, compounded my misery and left me feeling more desperate and isolated. My mental health has spiralled downhill to the point that I'm considering sending my Victorian father and mini-him sister a letter from my GP listing my past six months med records. I just wouldn't cope at my sisters wedding . My sister and father are in denial,ignorant (bliss)or just mentally lucky. My father's auto reply to any news of my physical or mental illnesses has always been ;' Probably drugs' but would be devastated to read my problems( he's been paralised in hospital for nine months with an auto immune condition called CIDP) but will be furious if I don't attend .I'm having panic attacks when I'm going up to London to see him and just can't face it now. How do I solve this dilemma? They look down their noses at me at the best of times. If you had asked me last year, 'Glyn,would you like to go into a mental home for a week,I would have said no way . Now I would say yes please.That even shocks me to write/read that. I'd love to be with like minded ,mentally ill people to at least relate to and ,to be honest,compare myself to. After pleading for help for a year I was finally offered group therapy in a place I can't get to. The closest I got to telling someone my problems was a face to face Personal Independence Payment assesment last week,no advice or feedback,just them trying to trip me up and find a reason to axe my benefits. I've gone from being a heavy cannabis self medicator to just one before bed. No side effects,drowsiness etc. I sleep like a baby but have had to stop the recreational abuse of it to give myself a chance to improve my MH. I've lost all confidence in the broken NHS,primary,secondary care teams,GPs and I'm going to go swimming every day ,use not abuse cannabis ( in my medicine cabinet not on my coffee table now) and improve my diet . I have B12 injections for pernicious anaemia through neglecting my dietry requirements and now eat lots of fruit and veg,less sugar and salt and hope I'll start absorbing vitamins and folic acid naturally.
Crikey , nobody said it was easy. Anyone have any advice or help to get my life back please let me know. I'm not sure my Mirtazapine,Lofepramine and Diazepam meds are the way forward.
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