Mirtazapine making me worse. Fried brains feeling.

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I'm quitting Mirtazapine 45mg.  I've decided to suddenly stop (not recommended) . I'm aware that you can always feel worse than you can imagine despite saying ' I couldn't feel any worse' if that makes sense. mentally ill is bad, mentally ill and chemically ill may prove fatal.? Confused and scared to be honest.The NHS has failed me big time. 'professionals' have forgotton appointments, compounded my misery and left me feeling more desperate and isolated. My mental health has spiralled downhill to the point that I'm considering sending my Victorian father and mini-him sister a letter from my GP listing my past six months med records. I just wouldn't cope at my sisters wedding . My sister and father are in denial,ignorant (bliss)or just mentally lucky. My father's auto reply to any news of my physical or mental illnesses has always been ;' Probably drugs'  but would be devastated to read my problems( he's been paralised in hospital for nine months with an auto immune condition called CIDP) but will be furious if I don't attend .I'm having panic attacks when I'm going up to London to see him and just can't face it now. How do I solve this dilemma? They look down their noses at me at the best of times.  If you had asked me last year, 'Glyn,would you like to go into a mental home for a week,I would have said no way . Now I would say yes please.That even shocks me to write/read that. I'd love to be with like minded ,mentally ill people to at least relate to and ,to be honest,compare myself to. After pleading for help for a year I was finally offered group therapy in a place I can't get to. The closest I got to telling someone my problems was a face to face Personal Independence Payment assesment last week,no advice or feedback,just them trying to trip me up and find a reason to axe my benefits. I've gone from being a heavy cannabis self medicator to just one before bed. No side effects,drowsiness etc. I sleep like a baby but have had to stop the recreational abuse of it to give myself a chance to improve my MH. I've lost all confidence in the broken NHS,primary,secondary care teams,GPs and I'm going to go swimming every day ,use not abuse cannabis ( in my medicine cabinet not on my coffee table now) and improve my diet . I have B12 injections for pernicious anaemia through neglecting my dietry requirements and now eat lots of fruit and veg,less sugar and salt and hope I'll start absorbing vitamins and folic acid naturally. 

Crikey , nobody said it was easy. Anyone have any advice or help to get my life back please let me know. I'm not sure my Mirtazapine,Lofepramine and Diazepam meds are the way forward.

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  • Posted

    Hi Glyn so sorry your feeling so sh*t I have been there were you are albeit years ago never told my mother how I was or she would've just told me to "snap out of it"

    45mg sounds like a lot I've just started on 15mg and don't intend to go any higher as I feel OK.

    I understand your disgust at the medical profession as a whole as my brother was bipolar and went through the system for over 25yrs he decided to stop fighting the system although compliance was not his thing he decided to go with it.

    I hope you find the answers you are looking for

    Wishing u all the best


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  • Posted

    Hello there, I'm so sorry that you going through such a very tough time. Sending a Big hug to you. I can relate to wanting be around people that understand how you feel. I was many times ready to just give up. But I keep on getting up again. I would suggest tapering of mirtazapine slowly. I have to taper down (doctors order) because I have inflammation in my liver). But I've been on them only 3 weeks. My doc wants me to take( half15mg) for 5 days, and than stop. I'm concerned about withdraw symptoms , like insomnia, since they helped me sleep. I wish you the very best, praying you get the help you need, and that you would find a doctor who really cares. Sincerely Kornelia

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  • Posted

    Hi Glyn.I'm replying from the U.S. and have good health insurance which sadly is usually a requirement for good care,although I must admit my halth care people are very  helpful for the most part.I go to a counseler/therapist for talking to and a psy/doc for meds.I have IBS and anxiety/depression.I wish I could give you some advice as I have had a rough 7 months myself,but I would say try to keep on the path you are going as far as what your doing at the end of your first paragraph.I would be careful about going off the Mirt cold turkey,especially since your kind of fragile right now.I understand what your saying about people not understanding because I run into a similar situation,although I do have family members tha have similar problems,so they do understand to an extent.For me,a strong relationship with God and a belief that He has a purpose even in my suffering has helped me the most.I believe that Jesus is always with me and that this will someday be a way that leads me closer to God and my walk with Him,now and forever.Hope is the one thing to cling to along with faith and most of all,love! God Bless You,Bob

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    • Posted

      Hi Robert, I like what you wrote. I cling to God each day, and praying something good will come out of my struggles. I have had days I felt hopeless because of ongoing stomache issues and because of side effects of mirtazapine. But I pick myself up again and again. I have a notebook by my bed. Every morning, I write down 3 things I'm thankful for, no matter how I feel. Wishing you the best. God bless you.

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    • Posted

      Hi Kornelia,That's amazing(but not really) about writing 3 things every morning! I do the same thing! I heard or read about it about a month or two ago and have been doing it ever since.It's no coincidence that we both do it.As we say in the men's prayer group,"there are no such thing as coincidences,just God Moments!" And what I mean about it not be amazing is that with God this happens all the time.I to have those hopeless days or parts of days(like yesterday) but the Lord keeps me plugging away toward that goal when we all go home.Keep picking yourself up and God Bless You.Bob

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