Miserable Mum please help

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mandy91562 Marley1 • 13 minutes agoHi I'm new to the group. I've been reading some posts/ replies on here what a lovely group of people you are!

im 46 and recently diagnosed as peri menopausal. My doc tried to put me on Prempak c . I did take them for 2 months but felt terribly bloated so ive stopped taking them . That was a month ago and I feel awful again. My main symptom is feeling sad. Not just a little bit sad but sad to the point where I want to be alone .. I can't listen to the news or any slow songs on the radio as I know it will set me off. I hate myself and have driven some friends away with my constant excuses of not wanting to go out. I think some have finally got bored of me. 

As I type this im alone again in my bedroom- fending off 3 children who are getting used to their mum going to bed at 7.30pm. I love my children and husband and I'm worried I will drive them away too. 

Does anyone have any suggestions? X 0 votes  Report  Share Reply

 

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  • Posted

    Hi Mandy. I know exactly how you feel. I to feel the same. I have been like this for the past 4 yrs. I have tried hrt but it didn't work for me. I have come to the point were I think you have to just try and ride this out. As hard as this sounds.😂 here if you need to chat but honestly I can relate to what your going through so your not alone.xx
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  • Posted

    Sorry to hear you are feeling so down I can relate to this when I was in the peri period. in the end I took a very small dose of a antidepressant Paroxetine which helped a great deal. I would perhaps go and have a chat with your GP it doesn't have to be so bad hun. You need to get back to some normality as I'm post menopause by 3 yrs and the menopause symptoms are still with me so us woman have to change and adjust to this stage in our lives. Go see you doctor hun hope you pick up soon xx
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  • Posted

    Hi Mandy, I feel for you I really do, I am 46 and was told I'm peri, to me it felt a relief because for a year and half I felt like I was totally cracking up, I was crying all the time really miserable, didn't want to go no were or see anyone, I really felt bad and I thought I would drive my husband away, thankfully he as been fantastic, this group as really helped me, because you realise that your not on your own, I have also taken yoga up to help with the anxiety and I went to see a councilor which worked wonders, I still have some bad days but nothing like I was, I agree once you know a lot of your symptoms are down to peri you can cope far better, I really hope you feel better soon, and remember anytime you feel that way log onto this site, there is always someone with some good advice. Big Hugs your way xxxxx
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  • Posted

    Get yourself some Zoloft. Setraline helped me with the depression, anxiety, etc. And it doesn't make me sleepy or drugged up. It helps with feeling sad and depressed and helps me focus. The stupid little things quit bothering me and I felt like myself. Counseling could help you too. Try not to iosolate yourself. The depression will get worse.
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  • Posted

    Hi Mandy... Sorry you feel so down.. Go have a wee chat with your doc. I too take Setraline 50mg a day and it was a life saver for me along with this group of ladies, who are always here to listen and share, keep popping in and there is always someone to chat to and help you feel better not being alone. Big hugs to you xx
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  • Posted

    Hi Mandy.  I'm new to this forum too (joined 2 days ago) and have found it very helpful.  I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a hard time and can sympathise with you and assure you that you are not going mad!  I started with peri when I ws 49 (just turned 51) and struggled to cope with day to day life.  I kept going back to my GP who firstly pescribed fluoxetine which helped for a short while and then eventually I was perscribed Paroxetine which was gradually increased from 20mg to 60mg and also 2 mg Diazepam (for the days when I'm really struggling).  This has helped greatly although I still have bad days where I'm tearful all the time and can barely get out bed.  I've been advised on this forum to look into Mindfulness training (there are courses on You Tube) and so will be starting a course asap.

    Please be reassured that you are far from alone in feeling the way you do.  I suggest you speak to your GP (don't be afraid of breaking down in tears - I did!) and keep going until you'e given something to help you get through.

    I keep telling myself this will not last forever and that one day, I will be back to my old self again.  In the meantime, don't put pressure on yourself and explain to family/friends and colleagues that you are going through peri and sometimes find it difficult to cope.  You may be surprised at the support you receive.

    Thinking of you and hoping you will find something to help you soon - remember, the help IS out there.

    Hugs.

    Michele x

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  • Posted

    Hi Mandy. On balancing hormones: avoid oral prescriptions, prefer transdermal bio-identical HRT. Exception for OMP - oral micronized progesterone. Safer (much safer), less side effects, etc. Even safer alternatives: plant oestrogens and VITEX -Agnus Castus (takes about 5 months to be fully efective but is absolutely fantastic). By balancing hormones your mood should improve. Maybe a bit of St. John's Wort, good/tsrong VitB suplement (B12 i the morning), 3mg Omega3/day.

    A bit of yoga...talk to your family so that they can support you, it's not your fault.

    I hope you find the support you need in here and elsewhere. X.wink

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  • Posted

    Hi Mandy

    I understand how you are feeling about being sad and alone. We all go through this I have had my share of depression and anxieties and yes it does not feel good 

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  • Posted

    Hi Mandy,

    So sorry to hear about your depression, your sadness. I think the ladies have given you a lot of great suggestions, anti-depressants, transdermal hormonal creams ( you can rub them on your forearms), yoga. I just want to extend my sympathy, and to suggest you do look for solutions, that it is obviously hormonal, it's not you. Don't be afraid of the medicines, and have courage with the changes that your body is undergoing. I have gotten a tire around my middle, which on good days I think looks kinda cute, and on bad days looks kinda grotesque, and those bad and good days definitely depend on the time of the month! So I try to practise mindfulness, detach my mind a bit from its normal human worries. 

    Love, you matter. Try something else, and if it doesn't work, something will. And maybe it will help you to know that research has proven that older people are definitely happier than younger people, that this transition phase is taking you to a better place. 

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  • Posted

    Yes, we are all going through it.  I feel anxiety, the only way i can describe it, is im being lined up to be shot, that feeling.  Everyone is different and we all experience, interpret it in a different way, but we all experience some kind of anxiety is the common link with us all.  As i have posted my release is excercise it gets all of the tension out of me.  Massage is another one, as it diet and positive thinking.  You are not alone, you just have to be strong and resolute in thinking i will get through this.  It will end at some point.  Think f it im going to beat this, dont secumbe to it. x

     

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  • Posted

    Hi Mandy

    I'm peri menopausal have been for about a year .

    In the lat year I've had my children move out as well so there's only me and my husband at home sincwas they moved out its got worse I've also suffer with really bad acid reflux I've also been told that the reflux could from menopause and of course stress.

    I'm also seeing a councilor. Which helps .

    my problem is I don't like anyone seeing me this way so I hide somewhere on my own.

    Still struggling my problem is I over think everything. Which isn't good cause it causes more stress.

    I'm also new to this forum. .

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  • Posted

    Hi Mandy, exactly my symptoms too, I'm a mum of 3 and 45. I feel exactly te same so miserable, wanting to b alone. In bed early. I have had my symptoms for 6 months, had blood tests done but my doctor thinks I'm NOT peri he says I'm to young mmmmm I'm 46 in June!!!!!, & bacause I'm still reg bleeding on my periods I carnt b peri?!!!!!. I put up &shut up with my other smptoms having children I have to but I ythimk as time does move on I well may have to start something. Iam going to see if I can get something from my GP for my mood swings ( like you when I'm down and feel rubbish) I look at it like this mandy I carnt go on not with my children with my feeling low just a little help to kick my butt!!). I'm new to this to & since I have been on this site the ladies are fantastic with some excellent advice or how & what they took or did to help. A way I'm going to go and see the doctor and see if I can get something. Go to your GP and get some advice like me. Xx
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    • Posted

      Hey Michelle,

      Sorry to hear you feeling so bad.  Me too, im peri menopausal my GP did blood test and it came back with hormone fluctuations have had them before when i felt exactly the same and came back normal, due to difficulty in fluctuating hormones very hard to diagnose.  So i would go with you gut instint that you are peri.  My GP said that it is a 10 slow decline and those of us that have bad PMT symptoms get a whole amplified peri version....lovely!

      I was so anxious the other week, i didnt know what to do with myself.  My GP then said that i have mild hypertension, i managed to talk to her and explain that im feeling so anxious because of peri and that it is affecting my blood pressure.  Anyhow was also worrying about breast screening that i had yesterday, as hit 50 in Jan.....im a natural worryer anyway.

      To be honest the only way i think you can deal with those awful stomoch twisting anxiety feelings is to do some exercise, Pilates, Yoga, walking, running, swimming.  This does releive tension.  When i horrible belt of anxiety 2 years ago, with a panic attack thrown in for good messure, i made myself go swimming which did wonders, really kicks out all the negative, depressive, anxious thoughts. xx

      Hope that help. x

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