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Monogamous male and recently tested positive

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Magik
Magik

I am a 42 year old male in a monogomous heterosexual relationship with my wife for 10 years.  I'm literally shocked to have HSV-2.  After being under an extremely high amount of stress I noticed I had some red bumps on my scrotum.  I went and got test immediately and the Dr. told me it looked like Herpes, ran the test and they came back positive.  I'm pretty sure she has not exhibited any symtoms?  I've not engaged in any sexual activity because I'm pretty embarassed and do not know what to say.  My healthcare provider says I may have been carrying this for years and it may have been lying dormant?  I'm not very much looking forward to telling my wife this because I don't want her to think I have cheated. This is very disconerting to say the least.  Can anyone help explain this?     

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Trucker1
    Trucker1 Magik

    Posted

    Same thing happened to me...Dr said this can be dormant for YEARS...and one day BAM! Just tell her the truth and I wish u luck...it's tough but u will get through this

    • Magik
      Magik Trucker1

      Posted

      Thanks, Trucker.  I really do want to get this off my chest ASAP as it is a big burden to carry alone but this is just not the week to do it.  I'm obviously going to be avoiding any oral or vaginal (we don't do anal) sex until I have told her and she can go get tested.  This beyond sucks but I'm glad I'm not alone.     

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus Magik

    Posted

    If you had symptoms that were swab tested positive, then that is a definite diagnosis, unfortunately. It's possible for herpes to be unrecognised or carried asymptomatically (in fact, most people with genital HSV2 don't know they have it), and although less common, for a first outbreak to not show up for years. Not much to explain, just how it is, I'm afraid.

    It's also possible that in 10 years of marriage and unprotected sex, your wife is negative. That's just as difficult to comprehend! Herpes fortunately does not transmit every time (think of it like Russian roulette) and some discordant couples are lucky to avoid passing it on. Furthermore, the longer a discordant couple remain that way, the less likely that status will change.

    Since your wife is without symptoms, make sure she tests by type-specific IgG, not IgM, as per CDC herpes testing guidelines (available online). IgM is unreliable, prone to false positives, and for other reasons (though these are enough!), essentially worthless.

    • Magik
      Magik FelizCastus

      Posted

      Will her tests at the very least confirm she has been exposed to it?
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Magik

      Posted

      There is no such thing as exposure. You are either infected or not. Significant IgG antibodies are indicative of infection, but if the index value is a low positive, especially if she has pre-existing HSV-1 (orally or wherever, past symptoms or not), then it may be false. Best to report back her results here.
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