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More bad thoughts.....

Posted , 3 users are following.

Blackhole
Blackhole

When I woke up this morning, I had really bad thoughts, I googled some of the tablets we have in the house, as my parents especially my mum has loads. I feel completely useless and so bad. I know that I'm rubbish at everything I do, so why bother. I don't know how Im going to get through today. I can't do this no more. It's so hard today. 

3 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • georgaline38435
    georgaline38435 Blackhole

    Posted

    I am the same way this morning and my few friends are fed up with me so maybe i would be better gone.

    This has been going on for almost a year but I was always afraid to ask if he was depressed and thought he is just down.

    Then in August he thought he was in love with a woman who talked to at our gate. She was just seeing how far he would go (she has said this). He announced he was leaving after 32 years, then decided he would stay.

    Of course things were tense for a while but i thought they were almost fixed. 

    Then he announced he was numb and didn't have any feelings for anyone, myself , children , family etc.

    He can't be bothered doing anything and he was always great at gardening, decorating etc.

    He can't sleep. feels low and seems to blame me for everything. When he sleeps he jumps about all night. no interest in sex. Feels he has done nothing with his life due to me. 

    In 32 years he can only remember bad times no good times.

    He won't go for any help (theres nothing wrong with him)

    I have lost over 2 stone in weight and can't keep food down I am so worried. This makes him feel bad but he needs help.

    Please Please send me advise, I am at my wits end and have no one to turn to.

    Last night he was leaving at 3 in the morning

    • Blackhole
      Blackhole georgaline38435

      Posted

      I'm sorry, must be really hard, I found I did something when people who were not close told me to see a doctor. It took 2 people to suggest it. There are tests online, get him to fill out and see. I never knew until I completely broke down at work. It's hard , I don't sleep feels very low,  not interest in people want to run. This has not probably really help,  but I Hope you get it sorted.
    • SSekouB
      SSekouB Blackhole

      Posted

      How can you post that you're "rubbish" at everything you do? You are obviously a compassionate, empathetic, caring person. That is evident in how you immediately reacted by offering comfort and hope to someone else in need.

      It is often difficult for us to see the good that we do, or the benefit we serve to others, because we can't look objectively at ourselves. You aren't rubbish. No one who is as caring as you proved yourself to be, in a few simple sentences to a stranger, could be anything other than a beautiful individual. You're the very definition of what a friend should be -- someone who is there in times of sorrow. Now, find and let someone be that same thing for you.

    • Blackhole
      Blackhole SSekouB

      Posted

      I do care about people, doesn't mean I can not be rubbish at it. I should be able to cope, and I cant.  I am having a really bad day, lower than low. I wish I could let people around me know but I can't. It's really lonely, they know at work, but they don't really know what it's like. I'll put a smile on and they think it's alright, but Im not. 
    • SSekouB
      SSekouB Blackhole

      Posted

      Yes, you're the type of person who cares so much about others you'd rarher suffer in silence than burden them. These dark moods never go one forever. It may feel as if that is the case, but they really don't. And, there are SO many people who care more than you probably realize -- people who, if they really understood what you felt like on the inside, would say, "I wish she had said something! I wish she had trusted me enough to let me try to be there". I know, however, from firsthand experience how devastating it feels to feel alone in a sea of people.

      Do you have any spiritual interests?

    • georgaline38435
      georgaline38435 Blackhole

      Posted

      thank you , he has pushed people away(says it gives him control of his life ???)

      I need someone to tell him to see a doctor if only his bosses would notice

    • Blackhole
      Blackhole georgaline38435

      Posted

      Has his work suffered, mine did, it was my boss and a stranger to tell me. It's hard to admit, and you feel alone, angry with yourself and others. did yoy try the online test, if it comes up again, tell to try it. Them maybe check up and ask him how did he get on. I just wish I could help more. We are here for you.
    • Blackhole
      Blackhole SSekouB

      Posted

      i can't tell my parents who I live with, they have so much on their plates, I don't think anyone truly knows what's  in my head, I can't work it myself. A big dark mess.  i believe in God, if that what you mean, I have turned to him so much just to help get through the day, and to try to understand why! 
  • UK-Ven-medicate
    UK-Ven-medicate Blackhole

    Posted

    You hav a group of people here who wont to help you where they can. We all have these days and it will get better as you get more good days. x
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