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I get the worst anxiety in the mornings, to the point that I have real problems leaving the house. But these last few mornings I've been waking up with anxiety with no apparent trigger. (I don't work, I lost my job. So I'm at home all the time). I'm on minimal medications (just 3 prescriptions and 2 over the counter ones). I see a new psych provider in a few weeks and I'm hoping she can help me.
I feel like a burden. I have no energy and no motivation to do anything. It takes me all day just to get a few household chores done. My husband is angry with me sometimes for not working. He doesn't like his job but can't afford to be out of work. My unemployment benefits run out in a few weeks. I've looked for work but tend to bugger out when it comes to going on interviews. It's just too hard for me. I've filed for disability benefits but that takes upwards of 2 years to process and there is not really any guarantee that it will be approved.
I feel so alone most of the time. I don't have anyone to talk to. A friend and I correspond via email, but that's about it. I don't bother trying to talk about things with my husband because he has enough on his plate plus he just doesn't understand. He's mad at me for being home. He's the type who doesn't really like working and would prefer to be at home. I've always supported us, with him just working sporadically at temp jobs and seasonal work as a supplement. Now we're so broke it's not funny. The bills are piling up and the money is hemmorhaged out.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel guilty being home but I know it would make my anxiety worse if I worked. I tell my husband that I'm still looking for work, but in reality I haven't been. I apply here and there occasionally but never get responses anyways.
Thanks for reading my post. Sorry it's so long.
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