My battle with Anxiety

Posted , 5 users are following.

I am new to this group and I have had friends which use groups like this for other things and have had great sucsess, so I thought I'd tell you a little about myself..

So, for the last 5 or so years I have been battling depression & anxiety. The doctors have tried me on a few different medications but I've had no luck yet... I started off on propranolol, was then moved to Citalopram, then Mirtazapine and I am now on Setraline. I still feel as low as I did before, if not sometimes worse. The only thing I have found that will even take the edge off my anxiety is to use an electric cigarette. It's been a god send to calm me down when I get anxious. However, I still haven't found anything which helps with my depression. There are times when I feel as high as a kite and I feel so happy, but within minutes it can change to hysterical tears and anger. I'm so fed up of being the way that I am, I don't want the slightest thing to change my mood..

Jessie

0 likes, 14 replies

Report / Delete

14 Replies

  • Posted

    Depression is an illness with many ups and downs.  I find I am the same on or off anti depressants.  I took them for many years, as was extremely ill with depression.  I stopped them over a year ago at my doctor's suggestio9n.  I have lows and then I pick up again.  I find my life is a series of lows with good times inbetween.  I think we just have to accept the illness for what it is, and cope as best we can, with or without medication.

    Welcome to the forum and you will find it very supportive.  We all understand how you feel as we all have depression/anxiety.  If you find something that helps you cope, then that is a good thing.  Carry on as you are.  No after 30 years I have not found anything to rid me of depression as such.  Things help ease it, as you have found, so whatever works for us and we get some relief  from it that is great. 

    I have been very low these last couple of weeks, but I ride it out as I know there will come a time when I feel a bit brighter.  We are all fed up, I know I am.  I get stressed so easily and down I plummet.  It is a very frustrating illness.  I think we just have to live our life as best we can and learn to understand our moods.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Anne,

      thank you for your reply & welcoming me to the group!

      I agree and I am trying my best to accept me for who I am.

      There are days where I feel so confident and feel I could conqour the world but usually the slightest thing will make that completely change.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi

    i know I'm lucky and I've had this for about 9 months.  I'm like a different person.  I can't think how I was a Primcipal Teacher with 8'computer rooms and members of staff, with discipline that they couldn't hanldle referred to me.  Now I've bought new phones and am completely stressed reading the manual.  It's so,pathetic and I find myself keep apologising for things.  When I'm really bad, my head gets scrambled and I can't retain information.   The weird thing is that I pick up in the evening, then go to bed and the cycle starts again.  Imwaken up,and there it is, anxiety and palpitations.  Some days I just wish I,could close my eyes.  I've been on various antidepressants and put on. Two and a half stone I'm weight round my stomach and that depresses me as none of my skirts or trousers fit me any more.  I just can't see a light at the eNd of the tunnel.i really admire you for,coping with this for so long.

    i find I'm starting to lose my friends as I can't do,what I,used to do, although I do,try to force myself t go out twice a day.  So'eome asked ,em,what gave me joy and I could think of absolutely nothing except sleep,too blot it all out.

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hello, thank you for your reply.

      I know exacly how you feel, the slightest thing can set me off, I never stop apologising either! it gets to the point my partner says "stop saying sorry" and I will reply with "okay, sorry" I have been suffering with a "fuzzy" type feeling in my head for the last year or so where I can't physically think about anything at all. It can sometimes take me an hour just to pay an online bill or something because I feel so fuzzy.

      I also find I pick up in the evenings, I sleep so much and I am still always tired, when I wake up in the mornings I feel so lathargic and sleepy and I will be like this all day through work, on a good day I will get home and suddenly start blitzing the house or have a massive clear out, on a bad day I will usually go straight to bed!

      I used to have a lot of friends and was very outgoing, I now literally have a handful of friends which are - my mum, my fiance (and my dogs!).

      Try not to get hung up about loosing friends, if they can't support you through this, were they really friends in the first place?

      It sounds cheesy, but maybe try and find a hobby? I love drawing and when it goes right it does make me happy, but on the downside when I fail I tend to get frustrated & down again.

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Mornings have always been the worse for me over the 30 years I have had depression.  Still the same, even now.  I get stressed easily too.  I think we all do.  Does not help when you have depression.  I put on 3 stone whilst on Effexor and lost it all when I stopped it.  I feel I am managing without anti depressants, although still get bad lows.  I have battled and battled for those 30 years, and am still battling.

      I have been on lots of different anti depressants, taken an overdose, been in a psychiatric hospital, seen different psychiatrists and counsellors.  Lost jobs, a home, relationships all because of depression.  I am still here and still battling.  I am an old lady now, and not strong, but I just accept the good days and ride out the low days as best I can.  Not any easy illness to live with, but what else can we do?

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Jessie, if your Doctor has not yet referred you to a Psychiatrist, insist that they do so, to ensure that the dignosis is correct and that you are getting the most appropriate treatment.  General Practioners are that - General.  They have a wide range of knowledge and sometimes some depth in some areas, but if they knew everything there would be no need for specialists.  As your problems have been extant for 5 years or more, it may be that more in-depth assessment is needed.  You describe being 'High as a kite' at times.  This could mean you have a condition called cyclothymia (or cyclothymic disorder) or even Bipoloar Disorder.  You can research both of them on line and see if the sympoms you experience fit.  Remember, you don't need to have all the symptoms to be a sufferer.  Go to your GP armed with any new-found knowledge if you demand a referral.  Remember always that it is about you and you have to take charge ofyour treatment.
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Dave, thank you for your reply. This is something my partner had mentioned as he is very supportive about all of it, after feeling hopeless with these medications he looked into other solutions and said that I should go to the doctors and speak about things such as Bipolar disorder but I guess you kind of shrug it off and think "it can't happen to me". After seeing your reply I did a little research on the internet and looked at a few online quizes about how to know when to seek help, and I have literally ticked every box - but then I question myself and think "am I just making myself think that I am because it's a solution?"
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Jessie, the only person who can make an informed decsion as to your responses would be a clinical professional working in that are - i.e. a psychiatrist.  I was a registered nurse working in high dependency care and none of my colleagues noticed how much I was suffering until the big breadown came.  You would think that would be a supportive environment but it wasn't.  I was hounded out of my post and treated as a total pariah.  I had been ill for 6 or seven years and, although I had some insight, I thought I colud handle it on my own.  I couldn't.  On the plus side, after leaving nursing, I went to 3 Universities and gained a degree in Biology and two postgraduate certificates, in Education and in Astronomy, moved to Spain and learned to speak Spanish.  It does not affect your intellectual ability.  Your partner sounds pretty savvy, trust his judgement.
      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      That sounds like a horrible thing to go through, but how amazing that you've made something really positive from it, I really look up to you for that!

      There are days where I feel so confident and like I could do anything, and then usually something comes along and turns that completely upside down and I feel hopeless and my head feels completely fuzzy.

      My partner is so special and has helped me through so much of this already, which I will be forever greateful for. He understands the signs now of when I'm having a bad day and need to be left alone.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    mary.r, Propranolol is a beta-receptor blocker and adrenergic antagonist .  This means it works against what the adrenal glands do by blocking the effects of adrenaline and noradrenaline (epinephrine/norepinephrine in the USA).  It most emphatically does not stimulate the adrenal glands. 
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi

    what Dave says is correct.  I'm on 2 x 40 mg tablets a day for that.  What you need to watch is that it can in a few cases cause low blood pressure but it slows your heart rate..

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi All, I was put onto Proparanol right at the start which was mainly just to keep me from not having any panic attacks, but I was changed after only a month or so of taking these.

       

      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up