My boyfriend fell out of love

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Hi, my boyfriend just dumped me because he said he fell out of love. The problem is, he fell out of love several months ago and only decided to tell me now because he said he tried but really couldn't feel anything. He is emotionally unstable and has a lot of personal issues. I want to know if the depression triggered him to stop loving me or did he really just fell out of love? He said that what we had was the best but he just fell out and he could not pin point anything. He said that I should continue being myself because there is nothing wrong with me but could not help but seek for answers and doubt what he said. The past few months, I've been too clingy and needy but that was because I was trying to get his attention because we don't have sex anymore. I really don't know what to do. He has friends but does not treat them as friends, he said that they are just his drinking buddies, that he is not even part of their conversations. He said that he just wants to drink. I am worried because a little part of me wants him back and also, I am worried for his mental health. Should I just move on?

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  • Posted


    Many depressive and other types of mental illnes are or can be very insular. They have problems relating to others, and this can stand out as they are loners, they can also have problems relating to those around them.

    Sometimes, in fact quite common you may find yourself Romantically Involved with a Depressive, depending on the type of Depression you may find their moods will change and that can confuse those around them.

    One of the problems I have noted, also been explained, in a Relationship the feelings of the person may change as the relationship progresses and eventually they will wish to walk away and end the interlude they have spent with you. This is caused by needs changing mor often than not and a reason for the breakup will be lacking. Reasons given can be styfling me or relationship is not working.

    They will say it is not you to blame it is me I am changing.

    You have a choice possibly, wait and see, or personally I would suggest you move on. If in the future the relationship does work you may find in the future He may revert to what you describe above

    Sorry I cannot give you a positive direction to go. The best way of treating someone like this is be firm and kind. If the worse comes to worse get out


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  • Posted

    I can tell u from my point of view I went thru the same thing.. Ive been with my husband for 17 years in august all my feelings changed I felt we'd grown apart and I didn't love him like I did before. I was in the process of having a manic episode that went on for a few months for me and it sucked. As soon as I came out of that manic stage all my feelings for him were back I couldn't live without him.. now u have to decide do u want to wait to see if this is him going thru a manic episode or if that is truly his feelings. Being with someone that is depressed or in my case bipolar is very hard and is a MAJOR challenge. U can message me if u have any questions

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  • Posted

    Hi Mae - sorry to read of your situation. I would suggest you give him the space he seems to want. Leave him be for a while and see if he comes back. Meanwhile it sounds like he is self-medicating with the booze. I wonder if he has had any medical intervention in the past for depression or if this is a recent ailment?
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    • Posted

      Hi Wayne, no there is no medical intervention but he acknowledges the fact that maybe he should get checked someday. But I do know that there is really something wrong with him emotionally, he nags all the time and I even got to a point that I get scared when I forgot to throw the trash because he might say things. He is an artist and he is very frustrated that his career is not going somewhere. sad 
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    • Posted

      Maybe "someday" is today, still it's up to him. Meanwhile, you are not the reason his career isn't where he thinks it should be. There's nothing wrong with being frustrated about things, but you are not a target for him. A bit of time away from each other might be a constructive move and will give you space to decide what you want for your future. 

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