My boyfriend said he's depressed, what do I do

Posted , 8 users are following.

Okay I've been dating the same guy for a year now. He has always dropped hints about how's he depressed but I didn't really think much of it since he has always seemed so happy and what not. When we first started hanging out one night he randomly broke doe and started telling me about his depression. I didn't know what to say or do since it all came out of nowhere and he had only hung out a few times. 8 months or so have gone by and he's never really said anything about it again. Things were going good he asked me to move in with him. ( which I didn't but just because I need to say money) he found a place with his friends and told me I could keep things there since I stay there every night.

 I got mad at him and we didn't talk for a couple days and then hung out and talked about how we need to communicate better. He told me it's hard for him since he's depressed. So I started asking his questions about it and we talk some about it but he asked if we could talk about the next day since it was 3 in the morning. The next day I wake up to him Chang smoking and listening to his iPod. He then gives me  a kiss and leave. I call him later and he acted completely normal. Then he just randomly text me telling me how he needs to be alone and how he has to be happy with himself. How he loves me like crazy but it's now fair to me and how he's done hurting me and leading me on. Then he said he needs to take care of himself and he can't give me hat I deserve. 

What what the heck does all of this mean it all so random. Are we done for good? Is this just an excuse? Is he ever gonna come back? He has just completely shut me out won't respond or answer my calls. What do I do?

2 likes, 8 replies

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    I think you should leave it to him to come to you you have tried to communicate with him he knows you care but just perhaps he needs some space to sort himself out sometimes things dont work my last relationship didnt and ended with just that didnt work and I was crushed but I would learn from it if he comes back to you then you need to know were you stand because it isnt fair on you and he could be right in saying that he cant give you what you deserve but I know it is a crap excuse because I think all you want is to be with someone to love and who loves you but perhaps he feels he cant give you that in his life right now if he does get in touch try get him to open up and get help because if he cares for you it will only get worse on his side if he doesn't help himself 
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  • Posted

    Depression makes you feel completely worthless and feel nobody deserves to put up with you, if he has depression but been acting fine then that means he has been bottling it up which let me tell you from experience, isn't good..

    I say he is feeling really low at the minute and doesn't think he can give you the happiness you deserve, it's good you are here as it shows you want to know more about depression. It's really hard for anyone who doesn't deal with it to even begin to understand how that person feels, maybe researching into it a bit can give you a bit if an idea about what he goes through.

    Could also be a cry for help seeing if you really love him and will not just give up when he's feeling low, keep calling and texting, he will show up at some point but he needs to see somebody if he been keeping this all inside and not telling anyone.. Stay strong smile

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    • Posted

      Hit the nail on the head jake...it's a weird thing to understand cause when ur going through a stage all u want to do is hide away and not speak to people...u tend to push everyone away which I do and his doing to u right now. It's not ur fault it's nothing personal x
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  • Posted

    I guess I'm just confused as to if I should keep texting him or just leave him alone? I'm pretty sure he blocked me so my text don't even go through. 

    I've read a lot and people say to let them be and give them space. 

    To to people like this tend to come back or do they just leave us behind and act like we never even met? 

    Does se he need a week a month.... I guess I am just so lost right now 

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    • Posted

      No matter if he has depression or not you have to think if yourself, if you love him enough to fight for him and help then do it.

      If you think you can't then you need to step away, the last thing you want is to keep waiting to then have your heart broken and also spiral into depression..

      Like alexander said without help or support it will just drag you down to the point of feeling as low as him, this is why I wouldn't get into a relationship with how bad my depression is, i couldn't bare to hurt someone I love who is doing their best to help.

      Goodluck

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  • Posted

    Hi Lidders i dont know if you can handle his depression its a very personal matter and he should be seeking all the help with or with out your support,you dont want to be drag down if you can help it,i have a type of depression caused through my chronic nightmare,but i still get support from my wife even then i know she finds it hard.

    You will have to ask yourself if you love him strong enought and he also has to tell you what his depression is all about !

    Good luck to the both of you .  Alexander.

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  • Posted

    Its hard if he doesnt open up to you with how he's feeling but he might just be scared on how you will react. It might be worth advising he go see a doctor or a counsellor they might be able to advise him better. Try and be supporitive as much as you can thats all you can do and the rest is up to him. You can only show him the door its up to him to walk through it. 
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  • Posted

    If he has been through a depression before you met, then only he knows how he is going to feel and react and maybe doesn't want you to see him this way?, his mind is somewhere else at the moment and probably doesn't feel like he deserves your love for him, depression does that, get a message to him somehow that you are there for him and he doesn't have to talk if he doesn't want to, maybe just go for a walk together and stay off the subject of his depression, also try not to to tell him how unhappy you are feeling this will just make things worse, talk about something he is interested in like music you said he has an ipod?, it's not going to be easy you are going to have to be strong. If he hasn't already he does need to seek help from a doctor, there are plenty of options open to him he just needs to find the courage to seek help. Stay strong :-)
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