My boyfriend suffers from depression

Posted , 6 users are following.

My boyfriend and I were doing great were really happy. He started to become withdrawn and wouldn't really open up to me but always wanted to han out with his friends and seemed ok with talking with them. He recently started drinking more and when I confronted him asking if he was ok he just kept shutting me out. He recently moved out and ended things with me, because I had asked what he wanted out of our relationship and did he love me. He couldn't give me and answer only saying "I don't know". For me this came out of the blue, I knew he suffered really badly from depression and had been self medicating on weed for five years and recently stopped it. So isn't on any medication. He says he doesn't know if it's just that he's fallen out of love or if it's his depression. Only a few weeks ago he was telling me how inlove with me he was and how excited he was to really begin our future. Now he says he's felt our relationship has had an expiry date for a while and doesn't know now if he sees a future with me. It seems to me he still cares, I just don't know what to do? Should I give him space to figure it out or just move on. I don't want to move on but what if he's just done with me

2 likes, 8 replies

Report / Delete

8 Replies

  • Posted

    I want to be there for him but he doesn't want help from me. I still see a future with him and don't want to give up but when you're going through depression, do you still know if you love your partner or is it that he just doesn't want to be with me anymore. I have hope he does love me, I don't see how you can just fall out of love so suddenly, he doesn't understand how he could either

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    After reading carefully what you have stated , that he will hang out with friends but avoided you, I feel that you don't have great future with him .

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hiya Kristen

    Sorry to hear about your situation, depression is a monster and like myself a long term sufferer I can relate.

    It can remove your feelings so things that you like or love have gone. It's like you don't care anymore and unfortunately this usually affects the ones closest to you.

    However self medicating is the worst thing he can do especially weed as this can you all sorts of side affects.

    He needs to stop what ever he's doing and get help, once he realises the mistakes he's making and hurting the ones around him he can start to mend, but this would have to be something he wants.

    Hope this helps

    Neil x

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thank you Neil,

      This does help. He is going to seek help and has stopped the weed but that's what I think has contributed to all these thoughts flooding back. I had a good discussion with him lastnight where he was very upset and still not knowing what he wants. Says he's going to give it two weeks and see if anything has changed if he has more of an idea on what he wants. Until then just going to give him space

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      But if you don't have care, how can my BF interact with his family and other friends but choose not to with me? I don't understand it. Depression can't be selective but it appears that way with him. If I'm the problem he should just leave me and let me be happy. Besides nothing I do for him makes him feel any better. Don't you agree??

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I stopped smoking weed 3 years ago, I too was self medicating. I also decided to stop drinking. Sounds like he has swapped one for the other. Alcohol causes depression. 3 years on I am taking anti depressants. It's a long road to any kind of recovery. Putting the drink and drugs down and living in reality...is harder that it looks.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Kristen, I can completely relate to your experience. This guy I've been dating for only 4 months have told me that he doesn't want to see me anymore. I noticed a few weeks ago that he's been distant, non responsive and unmotivated to do the usual things. In this short time I've developed feelings for him and he said the same. We have planned to go Fiji for the New Years but he doesn't want to go. I know he still cares and this is out of his control. I've decided to stand by him even as a friend as I have no choice because I've fallen for him. I guess the question is, will I only hurt myself by sticking by him or moving on knowing something bad might happen to him. Unfortunately we can't help who we fall in love with.

    You also must be heartbroken. What are you going to make you feel better?

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I'm sorry for what you're going through. My situation is similar except my BF isn't drinking and he just shuts me out and says he doesn't know about anything anymore. He left for the holidays to be with his family without me so I did the same. I was devastated but gave him his space. He's returning in a few days and over the phone tells me he feels everything he says is wrong and that I attack him and only tell him my feelings. How am I supposed to deal with this? I feel like I have no one. My friends tell me to leave him and I even tell him to move out but he says he doesn't know what he wants. However he does tell me he loves me via text and when we hang up. I just don't know what to believe and if I can take living with him like this any longer, and with Christmas coming can you imagine?? rolleyes

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up