My boyfriend with depression dumped me.

Posted , 6 users are following.

We were in a relationship for 5 months so not long but we had known each other since we were 15 and we always said we were going to grow old together and build a life together. He was my first love at 24 I lost my virginity to him and he would always make me feel amazing about myself. It's like we were soul mates he would always say that our dad's brought us together because both our dad's passed from cancer. He had a problem with taking Xanax for pain and depression because he's always been a depressed guy all his life he's had to face obstacles. When I finally got up the courage to tell him that he needed to stop abusing them he started telling that he needed to be alone and he rushed into our relationship so fast and he fell out of love with me about a month ago and didn't want to keep bringing me down. And he needed time to figure out his life and get of medication and maybe in the future we could have something.. I just dont understand how he fell ouut of love and he could just tell me that with no remorse it hurts so much I understand he needs time I just don't know how to deal with this. I feel so depressed now myself.

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    As hard as it is to hear, if he has made this kind of decision, then it has to be honoured - just as if you had made the decision he would have to abide by your decision.  Depression or not, people can still make decisions - even if you think they are the wrong one - its still their choice.  If you doubt his ability to make decisions, then all that will do is push him further away.  Respect his decision, and accept the outcome - to do otherwise will only further damage any future contact, and bring resentment in for you and for him
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    • Posted

      We didn't end things badly I did honor his decision and let him leave. I still chose to tell him that I would be there for him regardless and I know he could overcome it and anything and wished him happiness. It's just really hard I feel like I just lost a part of myself. I lost everything in a matter of minutes. I just feel like I wasn't good enough he fell out of love with me.

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    • Posted

      Hi this is nothing to do with you not being good enough as I am sure you were.  This is his depression talking.  Who know you might get back together again one day?   If you can face spending the rest of your life with someone suffering from depression that is!    Not easy. 

       

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  • Posted

    He probably is confused at the moment. He just cant think straight. Just give him the space and time he needs to sort himself out. He needs to settle his own life before he can think of commitment. In case he has fallen out of love with you as he says then its time to let go and go on with your life. No point in distressing yourself worrying about this.
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    • Posted

      I think it is time to let go and move on cause he did say maybe in the future we could find each other again. He said he just needs to be celibate and alone right now. I can't bring myself into a depression over someone who couldn't love me back.

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    • Posted

      Hi Blue - you are right. Move on with your life, let him do what he needs to do. We can't predict the future and we just don't know what twists and turns will present themselves. A depressed person often finds it difficult to believe they can be loved and pushes people away. It's no-one's fault, just another sharp edge of an illness that is as individual as each of us. Stay strong, look after yourself.

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  • Posted

    Breakups are always painful and depression is a mental illness that he needs to work on before being able to sustain a lasting and healthy relationship. Work on yourself so you can choose a healthier person in the future.
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