My Daily Journey

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So, I've decided to document my journey with this anxiety.  I'm starting a little late as I'm on my 16th day of fluoxetine but I'll summarize the first couple of weeks.  

Week 1 -

I actually felt pretty good after starting fluoxetine but had a few issues with anxiety in the mornings.  Some days were tolerable but others were not so good.  I also had some major headaches and no appetite.  My doctor says I should start to feel the effects of the medicine in 2 weeks.  So I'm keeping my hopes optimistic.  

Week 2 -

More of the same thing but now I am starting to feel the headaches go away a little.  Still feel a little anxious throughout the day but I started eating healthy food and only drinking water.  I used to drink soda every day  plus also a few cups of coffee.  Also, started working out which seems to have helped with my sleep.  I did have one episode one night when I woke up around 3 am extremly scared.  I had a major panic attack but was able to calm myself after a few minutes.  I was able to go back to bed.  There were some days when I felt completely normal throughout the day but not many.  The walking in the mornings has helped a lot.  

Present day - Day 16th 

Today I woke up with anxiety as usual.  I did my normal routine.  Had oatmeal for breakfast and took my 20 mg of fluoxetine.  Then I went to the park for my daily walk.  I try to do anywhere between 3-5 laps.  It helps me get through my day.  My midday I was feeling a little low so I decided to go back to the park and walk a few more laps.  I also started listening to a motivational CD that focuses on anxiety.  It's helped me with self talk and to understand my illness.  The rest of the day has gone ok with minimal anxiety but I still feel the butterflies in my stomach.  I might still head to the gym later on today but we'll see how I feel.  It helps that I live in nice sunny state.  The sun also helps with the anxiety and feelings of depression and worthlessness.   

I will add that my wife and family have been super throughout this whole thing.  They have been very supportive.  I don't think I could have gone this far without them.  I hope these posts will help others who are going through the same thing.  I will keep updating each day and hope that in a few weeks I will have better results.  Thanks for reading and God Bless you all. 

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  • Posted

    Glad that you've decided to write down how you feel each day! It's very therapeutic and helpful throughout the process smile
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    • Posted

      Yes I agree. I'm hoping I can track how I feel each day. Thanks for giving me the idea. Maybe one day I notice an improvement.
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  • Posted

    Day 17th

    It started off as mild morning.  Nothing too horrible.  I had my oatmeal and medicine around 6:30 AM.  Then I went for my daily walk.  

    I had some stable moments today but had times where I let my thinking get away and started to feel anxious.  I started my breathing exercises 4x4 which is 4 seconds breath in, 4 seconds hold, and 4 seconds release.  I was thought this by my counselor.  It seems to help whenever I start to feel anxious.  He advised me to repeat this 4 times which is one set.  Then do a maximum of 4 sets as needed. The way he explained it to me is that you have to let your body tell your mind that there is no need to panic.  You tell it by controlling your breathing.  Makes sense.   

    To help with the anxious thoughts I took a walk around the park around 3pm.  What is strange is that there is nothing in particular that worries me.  I just worry about worrying.  I have to stop that.  Overall it was not a bad day but had a few moments when I let my thoughts get in the way.  I want to be optimistic and say the medicine may be kicking in but as you all know that can quickly change.  So, I'll just take it as it comes.  

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  • Posted

    Day 18th - 

    Woke up today a little anxious but it soon left after my daily routine.  I did my daily walk in the park.  I always find that it helps me get through my day.  

    A little later in the day I helped my mom move a few things into her new apartment.  It gave me time to get things off my mind but I was feeling a little empty all day but nothing too horrible.  I have to say that around 1 pm I started to feel a little better.  I even made lunch for my wife and nephew.  Overall, the day was pretty good.  I hope this is signs of things improving for me.  I will add that I did have a slight headache throughout the day but took a tylenol which helped.  I hope I have more days like this. 

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    Day 19th

    Wow! I started off the day feeling great.  I mean, I had very little anxiety.  Almost none at all.  I did my normal routine and was pretty excited because I had my first visit with my new counselor.  I did feel a little anxious as the time got closer to meet her.  

    I went for my visit and things went relatively well.  I told her about my issues and we talked about a few things.  Overall I liked her approach on things so I think I will keep seeing her.  

    After getting home I decided that I was going to treat myself to a burger and fries.  I haven't eaten fast food in almost 3 weeks.  Everything was going well until we sat down to watch a movie.  Around 6 pm I started to feel the panic attack coming.  I couldn't believe it was happening again after such a mild day.  But sure enough I felt that scary feeling.  I took a walk around the block but decided it was not enough so I went to the gym for a 1/2 hour.  Then I got home and took a hot shower.  I'm hoping this will help me sleep through the night.  

    I guess the medicine has not fully sinked in yet.  I'm hopeful that the good days will stretch longer as times goes on but at this moment I feel pretty hopeless.  But I won't leave this post on a bad note.  Tomorrow is another day.  I'm praying for a good day.  Thanks for reading for those who are reading.  smile 

     

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  • Posted

    First post here smile

    BigTexas, thanks for sharing your experience with your anxiety after starting the fluoxetine. I cannot believe how much you sound like me..from the morning jitters and nervousness, then to feeling semi-normal then all of the sudden an influx of unwanted irrational thoughts that leads to anxiety and the "attacks" from seemingly out of nowhere, even walking the part about walking in parks!

    I should add that I'm on day 26 of 20mg and still riding the rollercoaster. I can't say that I've had a day completely free from anxiety but I've had days that were maybe 80-90% there. The last week has defeinately gotten worse for me, I'm finding it easier to obsess over small things and generally have been anxious and find it hard to complete a task. This recent slump has guided me to this site for answers, and I've found this forum to be a breathe of fresh air. I was getting a bit panicked thinking I've gotten immune to the meds, but it's great to read that nearly everyone hit some really low points several weeks in before it starts working its magic.

     

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    • Posted

      I forgot to mention that I've also been taking a magnesium taurate supplement since before starting meds, and I will say it's helped immensely with my overall mood and it seems to lessen the severity of the attacks. I wasn't anywhere near 80% on my good days before starting it. smile 
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    • Posted

      Thanks for posting here.  It's definitely been a roller coaster.  But one thing I was thinking about which made a lot of sense is that I have to learn to accept it.  I mean, it's going to happen (for now) so why not accept it and just deal with it.  I mean, there will be days when it may get bad but if we focus on other things maybe we can slowly start to eliminate it.  You're on your 26th day which is still fairly early.  From what I keep reading it takes 4-6 weeks.  But some people say it may take months.  I stopped listening to that.  I just take it day by day.  If one day I feel great then I try to take as much of it in as possible.  I still want to keep track of where I am just for my own sake but will not give it that much attention if that makes any sense.  

      I hope this post has helped you.  Keep checking in here if you like. It's good to know that someone is reading what I have written.  Take care and if you ever need anything feel free to send me a private message if you like.  Cheers!  

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    • Posted

      Hi BigTexas,

      You definitely have to accept that this is part of your life right now, maybe not indefinately, but for the forseeable future. That acceptance was a big step in my initial improvement. Yeah, it's still early for me and I can tell my symptoms are changing(negatively) which means the drug is working, albeit not as fast as I'd hoped. Today started terribly and I called in to my boss and told him I'm a no-go for work. Thankfully, he's been super helpful and supportive of me during this whole process. I'm feeling a bit better now than how I woke up(a jittery, nervous wreck) but my anxiety levels are still much higher than they've been in previous weeks. The past 3-4 days my appetite has been close to zero, but I've managed to force some food down. My mood is overall still pretty good considering, but I'm wondering if that will last if I keep getting worse(before hopefully getting better).

      Lets both hang in there and as you said, enjoy the positive days/hours/minutes that we can get.

       

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    Day 20th

    Today was actually not bad.  I mean, after the anxiety I had last night I woke up with less of it.  I have decided that I will still document my days here but will be shorter as I don't want to focus so much on what day I am on.  I know this is going to take time so I'll just summarize how I felt overall.  If anything significant happens I will note it.  But today was not bad.  I felt good overall but a bit shaky from times to times.  I'll take it over any attack anytime.  Hoping for more days like this.  I have to get better for myself and my family.  

     

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    • Posted

      Glad to hear you're having a good day so far.  Just be as positive as you can during the good times and do things that make you happy. Even little things like watching a tv show you like or go out for a steak dinner.
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    Day 21

    Today started off with mild anxiety but nothing too major.  One thing I found was this great book called DARE.  It talks about this guy who also faced anxiety and panic attacks several years ago and how he got through it.  Plus it shows you some tips on how to deal with your anxiety which I have been using.  It really has helped.   But overall today was ok.  I had a few moments when I felt really down and depressed.  But just went about my day and eventually it went away later in the afternoon.  I do feel some improvements so maybe the medicine is starting to kick in.  

     

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    Day 22

    Woke up with mild anxiety again but actually not much.  Today I had an errand to run and was a little worried as I would have to drive for an hour.  But to my suprise it wasn't that bad.  All day long I felt like my old self.  It was great!! cheesygrin

    I'm using a lot of the techniques that I read on the book DARE.  Whenever I feel sometime coming up I just accept and allow it to do it's thing.  I just say "Whatever".  Of course, it still feels terrible but I don't give it energy.  Maybe it's the meds that is helping me out but today was a really nice day.  I even got my appetite back.  Let's hope for more days like this.  I'm not giving up.  Gotta keep pushing forward no matter what.  I want to be a teacher one day and not going to let this illness get in the way.  

     

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    Day 23

    I'm happy to report that my days are starting out much better.  It's weird how this illness works.  I woke up feeling pretty good and lasted through noon.  Then I felt some butterflies in my stomach but not so much as a panic attack but rather like a worryness if that makes any sense.  But after about 30 minutes it passed.  Then I felt normal again.  I ate lunch and went about my day feeling pretty good.  I wonder if the medicine is finally kicking in.  Is this the way I am going to feel or will the slight anxious feelings ever go away completely?  In any regards, I'm happy that I am feeling much better.  It was brutal for the first 3 weeks but you definitely start to feel better.  I just do my best to ignore it when I do feel a little anxious.  With time I hope it goes away completely.  Hope everyone else is feeling better or at least on the right path to recovery.  Cheers!

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    Day 24th 

    Okay, so this day was perfect.  I didn't feel any anxiety in the morning and the day was pretty great.  I honestly felt like my old self.  Keep in mind that when I write these updates they are usually a day behind as I wait for the next day to make my updates.  That being said today was a different story but I'll make that update in my next post.  For now, I will just say that the 24th was near perfect day for me.  Everything seem pretty normal and I was even able to take my mom to the store and help her do things around the house.  I wish I could have many more days like this.  

     

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