My depression is back

Posted , 4 users are following.

I used to suffer from depression a lot when I was yonger - caused by a childhood of sexual abuse.

I was fortunate and came out the other side of depression but continue to live with anxiety.

Recently my depression has come back, and really strong.. im finding it hard to cope and constantly thinking about self harm (I used to do it alot when I was younger).

I dont know how it triggered again and need help.

I have a good life, just got a new job and a very loving husband but I seem to always take it out on him..

 

1 like, 10 replies

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    I would get some  counselling about this and see if your mood improves.
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  • Posted

    Giraffe2, just a quick word for you. First I'm sorry for what happened and what is happening to you now. One advise, since you know your husband is loving and you tend to take out on him. Next time you feel you're doing that to him remember he doesn't deserve that and he's the closest friend you have to help you with your depression. Recently I'm having my husband taking out on me really hard for difficulties he's been having in his family and I've always been the person he could count on for anything since we first met. It hurts. I wish you the best!

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  • Posted

    Have to agree with richard and sarah.. memories will poke its ugly head when you least expect or want them.. counselling will help you with coping strategies before they take hold - indeed you are so fortunate to have a supporting husband xx
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  • Posted

    HI giraffe2

    I know this is stressful for you to be back in this place again and you cannot understand why.  Have you had added stress and pressure lately?  Has something form the past been triggered again?

    When it comes to trauma from the past sometimes the box where we store all that pain and hurt and be reopened again and stuff comes flooding out.  Or we might not know what has caused these unsettling thoughts.

    Your husband knows what you have been through and it is a natural reaction to take out our pain on the closest people to us because it is safe..

    I would go to your doctor to get support and dont leave things any longer.  You also might need some counselling to help put things safely back in the box again..

    Please don't be hard on yourself as you cannot go through what you have an not expect it to rise up now and again..But the positive is you can get support and help..

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you laura, everyones support on here is so lovely and really helpful!

      Im going to my doctors today so im hopefull they can help. Ive had a lot of things happen recently that have triggered it. I guess im lucky that i know the reason behind it coming back, just didnt realise how hard it would be to deal with it all over again

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    • Posted

      It is hard when it all rises up again but you have got through it before and you can again.  I believed once you talked itall out the first time it would all go away.. It doesn't work like that as you said there are things that can trigger it all again..But with the right support you can put it neatly all back in the box again..

      Hope it goes well at the doctors..

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