My ex is suffering from Burnout. Help

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Hey guys, hope you are all well, My ex and I broke up about a month and half ago i should've realize sooner he was suffering from "Burnout" (if any of you are familiar with this term) , it took me this long to actually see that it's what he has. Being distant for the past monthsss, working constantly, complained about being achy, not having enough energy and time during the day to talk to me, being negative about the future and then he just broke up with me. Which was very shocking to me cuz we've always had a good relationship. I'm soooo hurt, confused and lost, i love this guy very much we've been together for 4 yrs, it's so hard to not want to try to work things out but i don't know if thats ever possible and how do i even go about it. Have any of you ever encountered such a state and how did you deal with it especially the person on the receiving end.Do i just cut him out of my life completely and try to heal or do i leave him there cuz he hasnt removed me because a part of me is clinging to hope that could be very well false. I haven't tried to contact him and nagged of any sort i did msg him a few days back and we exchange a few sentences where he said he's sorry.

Yours Truely

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Also i would like to add im sure he doesnt even know he's suffering from Burnout.

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  • Posted

    Hi Maryannn - has he seen a doctor about this? If not, that's the place to start. It could be a mental issue, or it may be caused by something physical - the achy scenario, lack of energy etc. Each could be feeding the other mental-physical-mental etc. Text him an advise a docs visit. Meanwhile, you are right to give him space to deal with this. When the issue is recognised and dealt with, I think you may see a change in his attitude and he might reconnect with you. 

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    • Posted

      Hey Wayne, no he definitely hasn't seen a doc, cuz he doesn't even know what he's experiencing is burnout, the achyness i assume it comes from sitting all day and not bein as active so the aches and pain will come, I was actually going to msg him a link to a Burnout Forum so that he can see it's what he has,but i don't if it was going to come off as me trying to fix him hence why i didn't, or wait it our for a while then send him so i don't seem pushy?

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    • Posted

      Hi Maryannn - send him the link. He can rage if he wants but explain you are doing it because you care. If he is still obtuse, give him space to think about it. Unfortunately, if he doesn't want the help there is little anyone can do.

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    • Posted

      Hi again Maryannn - a very good question. I would have to admit that my young self would probably have rejected the action. Might have even fretted over it. My older self would realise that my rejection/fretting would be a result of denial, but even then the knowledge that help was at hand would have me pondering it in unguarded moments. It's wonderful how much you care for the fellow, and i hope you find a way to get through to him where he appreciates all you are doing. I wish I had a definitive answer for you. Meanwhile, don't forget to look after yourself too.

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    • Posted

      Yeah and i guess that's why it's scary for me to send him something like that. I think when you have a connection with someone on that level you almost become paralyze in not knowing what to do. If walking away and cutting ties completely is the best option or keep hanging to false hope which is the worst thing. I guess there's other underlying issues aswell with him also financially aiding his parents and a relationship with me is hindering his financial stability. I'm truely conflicted and partially numbed out inside also cuz i don't want to chase anyone who think the relationship is becoming hard on him. I truelyyy appreciate you helping me wayne, i've been the type of girl who leans on her girl friends or anyone actually i guess thats why the pain became very internal and less expressive which is worst.

      Maryannn

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