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My experience? I could be here for hours. i am bulimic and have been for over 3 months now. before the binge eating started i was on the verge of anorexia. im 20 and have had weight issues my whole life. ive endlessly tried dieting only to fail over and over again. a few months ago i decided to really put sum effort in to it. and i did it. i lost a lot of weight and i looked good and people wre always commenting on how good i looked, how skinny i was, how sexy i was etc etc. they were good comments-but really that was just feeding my addiction to be more skinner.
one day i decided to treat myself to a biscuit. it was the best damn biscuit in my life. i had another biscuit and another one. and then i got out of control and ate everything in my sight. i found a bottle of laxatives in the cupboard and downed large amounts of that. since that day, my bingeing and purging has been a regular thing. i spend a lot of the time up all nite with stomachaches and on the toilet. its bad but its uncontrollable. i actually cannot control this thing anymore. it is so overwhelming. after i binge i say right tomorrow im goin to start afresh i am going to have all this willpower and i am going to beat this. it never works.
i feel so sad and empty that this thing is ruling my life. i never ever saw myself in this position. its still hard to believe its me. I AM BULIMIC. wow. sometimes when i talk about it, it feels like im talking about someone else.
im in counselling but ive only had a few sessions and so far im not getting anywhere. i also go through horrible bouts of depression because of it, i hate myself, i feel like crap afterwards.and still i do it. i feel ashamed and disgusting and like a pig. after i beat this, because i will, i am goin to use my experience to help others in the same boat. because now i know how it feels to be alone in something like this. noone else understands what u are going thru. there needs to be better ways to help people. im asking for help and i feel like noone is taking me seriously or they dont know what to do. and i just cant do this alone.
[i:bd7580de21]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:bd7580de21]
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