1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Eating Disorders

My experience? I could be here for hours. i am bulimic a...

Posted , 3 users are following.

Guest
Guest

My experience? I could be here for hours. i am bulimic and have been for over 3 months now. before the binge eating started i was on the verge of anorexia. im 20 and have had weight issues my whole life. ive endlessly tried dieting only to fail over and over again. a few months ago i decided to really put sum effort in to it. and i did it. i lost a lot of weight and i looked good and people wre always commenting on how good i looked, how skinny i was, how sexy i was etc etc. they were good comments-but really that was just feeding my addiction to be more skinner.

one day i decided to treat myself to a biscuit. it was the best damn biscuit in my life. i had another biscuit and another one. and then i got out of control and ate everything in my sight. i found a bottle of laxatives in the cupboard and downed large amounts of that. since that day, my bingeing and purging has been a regular thing. i spend a lot of the time up all nite with stomachaches and on the toilet. its bad but its uncontrollable. i actually cannot control this thing anymore. it is so overwhelming. after i binge i say right tomorrow im goin to start afresh i am going to have all this willpower and i am going to beat this. it never works.

i feel so sad and empty that this thing is ruling my life. i never ever saw myself in this position. its still hard to believe its me. I AM BULIMIC. wow. sometimes when i talk about it, it feels like im talking about someone else.

im in counselling but ive only had a few sessions and so far im not getting anywhere. i also go through horrible bouts of depression because of it, i hate myself, i feel like crap afterwards.and still i do it. i feel ashamed and disgusting and like a pig. after i beat this, because i will, i am goin to use my experience to help others in the same boat. because now i know how it feels to be alone in something like this. noone else understands what u are going thru. there needs to be better ways to help people. im asking for help and i feel like noone is taking me seriously or they dont know what to do. and i just cant do this alone.

[i:bd7580de21]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:bd7580de21]

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    I THERE!I HAVE JUST READ YOU MESSAGE AND IT IS LIKE SOMEONE IS WRITING ABOUT ME EXACTLY.I AM 19 AND AT UNI AND I FEEL THAT BULIMIA HAS COMPLETELY TAKEN OVER MY LIFE!I NOW FIND IT HARD TO GO OUT PARTYING AS NONE OF MY CLOTHES FIT AND I FELL LIKE EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME AND THINKING...GOD HASNT SHE PUT ON SO MUCH WEIGHTsadLIKE U DO EACH DAY I TRY SAYING I WILL START AFRESH BUT I FIND THAT IF IM IN MY FLAT THEN I JUST CANNOT HELP MYSELF!!I USED TO SWIM 9 TIMES A WEEK COMPETITVELY BUT HAD TO GIVE UP AS I COULD NOT JUGGLE WORK AND WAS GETTING PHSICALLY V TIRED.SO FROM GOIN FROM THAT TO DOING NOTHING I JUST FEEL FATTER, AND I FEEL I HAVE SO MUCH TIME NOW TO MYSELF AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS FOOD.I SO WISH I COULD B LIKE MY FRIENDS AND GO OUT AND ENJOY A NICE MEAL BUT I FIND THAT I KEEP HAVING TO MAKE EXCUSES SO I DONT HAVE TO EAT IF I HAVE JUST BINGED!I REALL REALLY NEED HELP SO I HAVE GOT A DRS APPT SOON BUT MY SISTER WAS IN SIMILAR SITUATION A WHILE BACK AND GOIN TO THE DR I THINK MADE HER WORSE AND DIDNT WORK.NOW SHE DOESNT GO AND SHE HAS NOT IMPROVED.WAS JUST WONDERING HOW U WERE GETTING ON AND IF U HAVE MADE ANY IMPROVEMENTS?ALSO WHAT DO U THINK I SHOULD DO ABOUT HELP?THANKS ALOT

    [i:d25ce0ace8]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:d25ce0ace8]

  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    I also have similar problems that I find too hard to talk about, but I would definitely recommend a couple of books that really help to build self esteem. Any books by Fiona Harrold are excellent and a book called mirror mirror by Dr Linda Papadopoulos. I really would get these books as they really do help. I've only recently admitted to myself that I have a problem and its really quite shocked me- its so unfair that we are made to feel so inadequate through media pressure- subconciously influenced by this every day of our lives from day one. The skinny models in the media are a minority selected for their unique figures, it is not the norm- how often do you look around and see that type of women? the majority of women come in all different shapes and sizes and we're all beautiful, I really think the key is to learn to love your self on the inside- stuff the outside, lifes just too short. Attractiveness really is self confidence and loving yourself

    [i:30b44a2e35]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:30b44a2e35]

  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    I have been bulimic for a few years now, so i know what you are going through, especially when you say that u always promise that you will start again tomorrow.

    I am getting some help from the doctors at the moment, and see a psychologist doing CBT.

    It is helping, and hopefully there will come a day when i dont obsess about food 24/7, and can just enjoy 1 slice of cake, instead of the whole thing!

    I also hate being sick, which is quite funny for a bulimic!

  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    what is CBT and how does it help?
  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    This is so weird, just reading this. i started weight watchers a couple of months ago lost some weight the healthy way and felt really good about myself. I was geting comments and my confidence grew. One weekend i treated myself to some chocolate and before i knew it i had eaten a whole box, and several packets of crisps. i felt disgusted with myself, and made my self sick. i promised i would never do it again but before i knew it i was binging on every opportunity and making myself sick. Its becoming a daily thing now and i really want help. i dont kno what to do or who to turn to because im scared i wont get support jus judgement. i think its just going to get worse and i hate it.. advice would be great. thanks x x x
  • charlie123
    charlie123

    Posted

    I have had bulimia now for 4 years and today was the first time i told my doctor about it. I started the same way by eating healthily but then the need to lose more weight took over. I would advise anyone with this problem to see their gp and get some help as the longer you leave it the worse it gets. I kept talking myself out if it thnking that i didn't really have a problem, but i was just kidding myself. The sooner you tell someone the quicker you can get help.
  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    I've been suffering from bulimia for about 8 months, and it's really terrifying how much of what you are describing is exactly how I feel. I also go to bed every night feeling like a complete and total failure and vowing that the next day will be different. I've tried so many different things, because I CANNOT stand this, and I also find it hard to wrap my mind around the idea that I am in fact bulimic, because I remember just a few years ago learning about bulimia in health class and thinking what a ridiculous disease it was and how stupid people must be who have it. I didn't really even admit to myself that I am in fact bulimic until recently because I thought and hoped that it would be just a passing thing and that it would be easy to beat, but so far it's been a losing battle on my end. Every single day I eat up to a point of painful discomfort where I feel bloated and disgusting. The whole thing is further complicated by the fact that I'm a runner, and just graduated from high school, and I do want to lose weight, but I want to do it the healthy way. Unfortunately with my lousy eating habits my running is suffering, which makes me want to go out running less (because of feeling exposed and disgusting) and stay at home and binge/purge more. I've even turned down friends asking me to go out, simply because I feel to horrible about myself to leave the house after eating so much. It's running my life, and the sick thing is that I know about all of the terrible affects bulimia has on your stomach and teeth and esophogas, but I cannot seem to stop. I know what portion sizes are good for me, and I know how to eat healthily, I just don't do it.

    I'll say it again: Tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will conquer this. Tommorrow will be the start to a new life, a life that does not revolve around diet and eating. Tomorrow I will be strong. I'm not religious but dear God, please help me have the will power and the strength to beat this. Good luck to everybody else out there! We CAN do this!!!!!!

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.