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My life has to change .... so low tonight

Posted , 12 users are following.

lori93950
lori93950

Saturday night and wow I’m at a low point .

I don’t work my husband divorced me don’t have any family and only a few friends in my rinky dink little town  that HE moved me to . I realize now what depression is ! I’ve never felt so low.

I’m pretty attractive and could go out on dates if I wanted but my fatigue is so bad eyes closing at 6pm.

Just started HRT and it’s not giving me a restful sleep . If it happens again tonight going to cut the patch in half ! 

Hope somebody out there is having a great weekend but if you’re not ... I’ll will feel better that I’m not completely alone .

I have a cat who’s like my baby and the tv but apart from that ....it’s like being in prison. At least you have people to talk to in a prison . 

5 likes, 32 replies

32 Replies

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  • mauiblue
    mauiblue lori93950

    Posted

    Your not alone.

    If i remember correctly you are into this aprox 5-6 months no cycle?

    Im remembering back last summer when i dropped down the 'rabbit hole' so to speak

    and you are about in the middle of it if we were to compare a timeline. Im post menopausal x 16 months. 

    Your at a very hard time, or at least it was this way for me. I was blindsided by it..

    i thought the chronic pain i have was causing the depression etc until i finally put 2 n 2 together..

    mind you ..NO clue, NO support..just went ga ga  as the days progressed.

    So you are EMPOWERED now by knowledge, which i didnt have at the time..until i hhapped across this amazing forum.

    So now you will for sure be able to get through this. Dont fight it or try to make sense of it. Just do all of the things you can to make things easier, and go easy on yourself.

    IT will go away in time ever so slowly, this is what i believe. You will improve over time.

    I can say that ive gotten a grip now...but it took months. I aslo hate to say that im far from normal, but ive learned to accept it and not fight it. 

    hope this helps..your strong you will get through it. Mind you... I NEVER had mood problems pior to this other than monthly pms..this is all new to me.

    0x0x0x0

    • thehotgirl
      thehotgirl mauiblue

      Posted

      Mauiblue, we have a similar situation.  I will be 2 years post menopausal in September.  About 7 or 8 months after my last period, the bottom absolutely dropped out of my life.  Until then, I'd been cruising through with hot flashes and not a whole lot more.  I can remember, perfectly, last April, thinking, man, this hasn't been so bad and my hot flashes are even becoming less frequent and much less strong.  Then, a month later, everything hit the fan.  Hot flashes WAY worse than anything I'd had up until then, plus the insomnia (which is killing me!), the anxiety (which I've gotten pretty much under control by fixing my blood sugar) the gallbladder issues, the stiff neck and shoulders which make it almost impossible to sleep, the list goes on.  I am 13 months past the bottom dropping out and while I have my symptoms somewhat managed, it's exhausting dealing with them.  None of htem have gone away, but I can at least get through the day most days.  Do you find your symptoms improving?  How long after menopause would you say that happened?  I read an article that said 1-2 years after the last period your symptoms should start to fade/weaken.  I'm getting close to 2 years and I could sure use some relief.  

    • thehotgirl
      thehotgirl mauiblue

      Posted

      I should say, sorry Lori, for hijacking your thread.  I didn't mean to.

    • lori93950
      lori93950 mauiblue

      Posted

      Hi Mauiblue 

      Great words of wisdom and support . Yes after 5 months and 3 days of the HRT just got my time of the month which i think is due to the patch .

      Yes it’s like to don’t have control of your mind you’re never at ease just sit here ‘waiting’ for things to turn around like waiting to board a delayed flight  .  I’ve never felt lost or that depressed before and I’ve been  through some very hard times .

      I remember 10 years ago the same thing happening thought it was due to PTSD after a bad accident but now I’m seeing probably peri hormone changes. That period lasted months years so I’m at least doing something about it now . We don’t have years to waste! 

    • anetta94863
      anetta94863 thehotgirl

      Posted

      I am still menstruating, but I had those symptoms for almost 2 years. Yes, the stiff neck-shoulders-insomnia is a killer. Lets chat on facebook. I live in PA.

       

    • lori93950
      lori93950 anetta94863

      Posted

      2 years !! I can’t go 2 years with this fatigue !

      Yes would love to chat ! 

  • vicky77852
    vicky77852 lori93950

    Posted

    Hi Lori! Sorry for feeling so bad!

    Depression during meno is due to hormonal fluctuations. Things will be better with time.

    I feel too lonely too, cause my friends don’t understand and say that I’m obsessed with my early menopause. When I tell them that I will take hrt forever they look at me with despair! 

    Try not to think so much about and don’t stay at home all the time. 💐

     

    • lori93950
      lori93950 vicky77852

      Posted

      Well if the HRT works I’m staying on it ! Only been a few days for me and you are right unless you’re going through this nightmare you’d never understand the complexity of symptoms . You go to a very dark place and it’s fine people saying oh ‘get out ‘ ‘do things’ but where do you go ? I’m single so walking around alone makes me more depressed as you see families and ‘normal people ‘ living their lives .... it’d  be nice if all hormonal women wore a sign or t shirt so we know we’re not alone ! Plus you’re always so bloody fatigued ! No energy to do anything .
    • Guest
      Guest lori93950

      Posted

      I agree with Vicky about not staying at home all the time.  Also, would it be feasible to work part-time?  When my sister (now divorced) lived in a small town while married, she did some part-time retail work.  Another option could be online work, possibly customer service, chat support, etc.  Just something to think about.
  • vicky77852
    vicky77852 lori93950

    Posted

    Because they look normal it doesn’t mean that they are or feel normal! 😂

    A good friend saw me last week (he doesn’t know about my meno) and he said that I look so calm and peaceful!!! 😂😂😂

    • lori93950
      lori93950 vicky77852

      Posted

      Well I think if you’re actually out of the house you’re doing a lot better than I am ! 

      That’s a great compliment ! Take it ! Must have lifted you up somewhat always nice to get a compliment ! 

    • Guest
      Guest lori93950

      Posted

      Well there was a time when we weren't out of the house. Hang in there, it does get a little better. And I feel the same as you do, I look around thinking everyone looks so normal and feeling fine, why am I the only one? 

      I do think you need to think about moving back home to have more of a support system. 

    • Guest
      Guest Guest

      Posted

      I agree that moving home, closer to family, would be a huge help.
    • Guest
      Guest lori93950

      Posted

      It can be done.  I work full time because I’m my sole support.  Some days definitely go way better than others.  Even if full-time work isn’t feasible, doing something part-time could help.  If the town is not working out, moving home could help.  My sister spent 16 years married to an alcoholic who moved them from one small town to another.  When she left him, she moved home with her kids and restarted her career.  It hasn’t been easy, but she’s making it work at age 45.  A new start at home or at least somewhere with family and friends who care about you could help you in your healing process post-divorce.  🌸

    • lori93950
      lori93950 Guest

      Posted

      I just don’t have the energy right now I’m so ill with all this hormone stuff . I don’t think anybody understands ? I’m debilitated .

      I can’t even go out let alone move . I’m tired from when I wake up .... let’s just say I NEVER wake up! So I’m stuck in the house most days just waiting for nighttime to come . I’ve got this really really bad . 

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