Posted , 8 users are following.
Me and this boy met online last may, and have been dating since june last year. He told me within the first month that he had depression.
One of the main reasons he was attracted to me was how open i was with emotions and mental health. He also liked how i was a caring and positive person (not to boast, just giving context). He's training to be a doctor, and it's been busy. He managed to fit us in for face time and calls once or a few times a week, and they were so great. We're not conventional by a long shot, but i'm a pretty independant person, so only talking by phone once or twice a week doesn't bother me, in fact, it's great! i love being distant from eachother in that way because it makes the time we spend together so wonderful.
I know he's struggled since we've started, doing things such as not talking for a week, then coming back and apolagizing for his behaviour, but i still encouraged him and was there for him. I sent him messages everyday and he said it helped a lot. it made us feel closer honestly.
About half way through november, he stopped talking again. i begged him to tell me what was wrong, saying i was hurting, and he finally (reluctantly) said "george, i care about you a lot. iv'e just been out of i. idk, like i cant focus, my emotions are shot. i'm just numb to everything. idk, i cant snap out of it. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. idk i am f*****g up and i'm sorry". i felt good knowing it was him and not me, so i carried on encouraging him, confident that i could be there for him with the reason he was acting distant now known to me. Also, he got put back on medication for depression at the start of november (i thought it was worth mentioning because that might affect him somehow?).
Two times in November he tried to reach out, saying "Thank you...I'm travelling Tuesday....I'd like to talk Monday if we can....I'm sorry again...Idk." and "Thank you for all of this. Tomorrow i travel home. I think I'm okay. Give me one more day?" and he didn't follow up on either of them. Didn't respond to anything, but the point is he reached out, right?
He's said things such as "I really really dont deserve you" and "you're absolutely wonderful" replying to random messages iv'e sent throught december, but never followed anything up.
The last message i got from him was two days before chrisrtmas, saying "I am almost done...i miss you" (i am almost done meaning his finals at uni). He hasn't said anything since, and he blocked me a few days ago. My heart shattered, but my rational mind just cant make sense of any of it. It just doesn't make any sense. He wont tell me anything. I KNOW he doesn't want us to end. I just know it. Deep in my heart, i know it. I'm trying to be strong, focus on myself, forget about us for a while, then try reaching out again in a few months. I dont want to give up on something so utterly wonderful. I know he doesn't want it. Before he distanced himself (which i know he did because he had a depressive period) we were absolutely fine. We'd just started face timing, rather than just calling, and we were moving forward in such an exciting direction. NOTHING at that point made me think otherwise. I feel that this is to do with him. I dont know what's going on though. It hurts the most not knowing what the reason is. I dont want to give up on him. I cant.
Can someone offer advice/support/positive support/encouragement/stories of a similar situation/if you had a girlfriend that tried this hard for you while you were in that state, would you appreciate it in the long run????
Honestly, i'm hurting, but i know what i want and what my heart knows is true, and it's that this boy is mine and im his and i am NOT giving up on such a wonderful boy.
0 likes, 8 replies
connie21463 georgina62318
Posted
It sounds like your friend isn't ready for a relationship, and it might be better if you give him some space until he has gotten his depression under control. I know that it may be hard, but it seems that trying to have this relationship us causing you distress. I hope the best for you.
james82283 georgina62318
Edited
itll get better
stephen37988 georgina62318
Posted
I know love is the greatest feeling in the world. It can make us change ourselves and our wants and desires.
Because of that it also hurts like hell if it's taken away. I don't know if this is true or not but you need to consider that he might not be honest with you or that he met someone in person.
He may have decided that he can not handle a relationship and his career.
It seems to me that he's afraid to hurt you but he wants space. I know he has space but he wants more.
If that's the case then he should say what is on his mind and you should be able to handle it. Maybe just remain friends. No pressure . Either way , you can't force love on someone . You'll only push them away !
georgina62318
Edited
this is me 6 months on. he never replied and the past 9 months have been really painful. ive been depressed and heartbroken. i am stronger because of this and i just want anyone going through something similar to know that they are strong and have a beautiful heart for loving this strongly.
i will offer you one bit of advice: listen to YOUR heart. who says it wont work? my situation isnt yours, so dont lose hope. only you know when its time to move on, nobody else.
i know this is a tough time. i know it stings and i know it breaks you. it broke me. but you will get through it.
work on you. become the strongest, most badass version of yourself. for who? you. youre worth every bit of love. i promise it will get better, but sometimes life likes to make us strong before things get good.
i love you and i believe in you. (:
abigailw georgina62318
Posted
Long distance- I have been in a relationship with a guy for the last few years and we just happened to meet each other in person twice a year. There have been breakups multiple times , but we have still hooked onto each other. From my experience I would just suggest you to change your communication with your guy and not push for things immediately. Space and time are the main assets that work in a long distance relationship.
If you can't at all stop talking make sure you aren't pushing too much which might make me shoo you away. If you really want him and have trust in your bonding give it some time and things should be good for both of you guys. All the best and be strong!
himanshi georgina62318
Posted
I am in a 2-year long distance relationship and we block each other after a small fight or when I start bothering him too much (which happens a lot) but later one of us (mostly or always Me) makes contact and we go back to love each other.
So don't worry if he loves you he'll come back
sandy90846 georgina62318
Posted
l'm in the same situation. He blocked me yesterday two days before christmas.
joshuapryce1987 georgina62318
Posted
Long distance relationships are easier to form than normal relationships, but harder to keep. Its best that you either meet up with this guy and sort things out, or find someone closer to home. It takes a lot of work to make a long distance relationship work. It can work but communication would have to be on point. I wish you the best of luck.
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