My long Journey

Posted , 8 users are following.

We'll I can't really remember when my depression started but it's been on and of for some 10 yrs or so to which I have always seemed to get thru but this time (since Feb/March) it's been the worst ever bout. Have been on meds since then but can honestly say I'm really struggling this time with no motivation difficulty answering the phone ( even to my own kids) horrible thoughts going thrums mind, and had some counselling but really not helping much.

ive just got to stay strong and get thru it some how, have been staying in bed when I can thinking there's no reason to get up real trouble doing things of which at one time wouldn't hesitate to do e.g cutting the grass and general tidying up of the garden etc. 

im desperate to be back to my old self and be happy and having something to look forward to and smile about.

 

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  • Posted

    Hi Malcolm

    I'm glad you want to be better, that does sound positive.  Did you get the right type of counselling for you?  I, too, had counselling several times, some which helped and some that didn't, that was just talking mostly at least that's all it seemed to be, and the last time, it seemed to be working while I was having counselling, but immediately afterwards I went back to how I was.  I'm now having CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) it's for counselling what prozac was for medication and it doesn't help with everything, but that's what prozac was like, it was supposed to help with everything and, of course, it didn't help with everything.  However, because it's my behaviour that's the problem (I'm a hoarder) it should help, at least I hope so.  I had another form of therapy, which I paid for although I couldn't really afford to do it and that helped with my social anxiety.  Eventually, if all goes well, I should be able to clear my clutter, which will lift my mood and enable me to invite people in, and hopefully I will not be depressed any more or at least only sad occasionally, being 65, widowed, with various illnesses, which do not help.  I just hope I don't need another type of counselling to get there.

    The trouble is, the more you do nothing, the more you feel like doing nothing.  Exercise can help, some doctors actually refer their depressed patients to take exercise.

    Have you been back to the doctor?  I think you should.  I know it's a long slog, but if you want to be happy, what choice do you have? Just giving in to it and not doing anything isn't helping, so try something else.  It's all we can do.

    Good luck, I'm sure your family would like to see you back to how you were too, you can get there!

    Marie

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    • Posted

      Hi marieC.

      ive had counselling each time I've been depressed and like other sufferers can't seem to discover what is causing it. A lot has happened over the years including my divorce after 27yrs marriage. Then firstly my dear old dad passed away then some years later my mum.

       Although I never suffered from depression before my divorce I can now talk to my ex and attend family functions. So I presume it wasn't the divorce which started the first episode of my depression. 

      Your right that counselling does and doesn't do a lot for you sometimes and medication really doesn't help much but I think that it eases it sometimes. 

      Ive been back to see a psychiatrist who changed my meds but they don't seem to be doing a great deal much the same as the Prozac I was on previously. As I said its only oneself that can help and we have to stay strong and go on with life even if we don't feel like it but thanks for your reply x

       

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  • Posted

    I am sorry to hear you are so low. I keep going there myself and seem to have been doing this for a very long time, through various pills and counselling . I get hopeless and want to hide in bed. My most recent bout realy frightened me so I went back to my kind but ineffective GP and asked him a) to give me Efexor not a generic venlaxine , as I suspected the generi was just not working and I didn't want to increase the dose and b) to send me for a psychiatric assessment just in case a consultant was a bit better informed and up to date. I haven't seen anyone for 10 years just kept taking the tablets , reading the self help and hiding from life when I needed to. We talked about CBT and I have started a course. I have learned , or maybe accepted , one thing so far, this depression that I keep returning to is to do with how I cope with life. And I really do now have to learn a different way to do that. I thought it was another 'positive thinking' course , which I have tried and just is too hard to keep up with when I am down but CBT isn't . I don't know yet where it will lead but the approach is all about recognizing how we collaborate with negative feelings and triggers (not so much why we do it ) and facilitate the downward spiral that becomes full blown depression. Bottom line is understand this and devise new responses to arrest this learned behaviour. Its hard work and it may not seem possible for you to try just now but I just had to do something to save myself and regain some joy in living.
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  • Posted

    Hi all, I am very glad I find this forum. by just reading discussions and reply's makes me feel good. It's like people does care. And Malcom it is a shame that we can't all get together for a group chat and a nice coffee.
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  • Posted

    Hi Malcolm

    I reckon one way or the other in the end you will be fine. You have your head scrwed on you can tell that, and just keep trying to have a positive attitude, which is sooooo much easier said than done, but if you can I know in time you will be ok.

    It's a good idea bout people meeting up for coffee/chat etc I reckon would 've better than doctors or councillor, as not many of them will have been through what we gave. No reason why can't do it, people may live closer than you think.

    Wouldn't be my cup of tea, pun intended! But think it's good idea for others. If you want to make it happen, it will

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  • Posted

    I would love to have similar answer for you, I also have been battling with it for 12yrs mine started when I had a accident at work ending up on work cover and on a disability pension, my days are good but at night I have extreme nightmares mostly work related, but I have restarted getting help again, sorry my problems is nt what you are looking for.

    Maybe you should seek help with a hypnotherapy treatment or acupuncture and join groups where your can all help one another. Some drugs may help but as you now it can cause some problems.

    All the best. Alexander.

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  • Posted

    Hi Malcolm I do understand how you are feeling.  I am 60 and out of work. I find it very hard to get motivated as well.  I deliberately made a committment with my sister to take her dog out every day.  She can't because of disability.  Many a time I have to force myself out but you know what?  I always feel better for it so this motivates me further.  Also I would feel much too guilty if I didn't take her as she needs her walks.

    Depression is a funny old illness but the more you do the more you can do if you get my drift.  Making yourself do something leads to more motivation.  x

     

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