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im about to endure another year of high school- it sucks. i've made (only) one friend yet i constantly feel alone. i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in june after school let out and felt good the whole summer (with very few breakdowns) now school is starting again and the stress is overwhelming.
ive relapsed (self harm) and it seems like the only way to stop myself from having constant suicidal thoughts is to hurt myself- the self inflicted pain distracts me from the uncontrollable pain in my chest and stomach when my anxiety gets so bad.
my dad won't let me do online school though ive been asking since 7th grade !! up until this year i don't think i knew what real pain was. ive even tried to kill myself but opted for cutting my hair and cutting my wrists instead. this is all too much for me and i just know that school will intensify these s****y feelings.
im stressed everyday. anxiety affects yours stomach and every morning before school id be on the toilet for 10 minutes because my stomach hurt so bad- all thanks to the dread and anxiety school gave me.
just the thought of walking in those halls is enough to give e a panic attack. i thought i was done with those.
these meds aren't working.
I DONT WANT TO DIE YET...
BUT IM TRAPPED.
the only way to stop the misery is to kill myself
IM ONLY 16. BUT IT HURTS TOO MUCH. IM SCARED.
i think i have to kill myself.
i have nobody.
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