My panic attacks!!!!!!!

Amy

I'm currently awaiting my CBT to start on the 26th, but until then I'm stuck having panic attacks night after night.....every single night.......I'm on the anti depressant venlafaxine as citalopram didn't work for me......in fact it made 100% + worse and it hasn't gotten any better since....I'm also on beta blockers Propranolol to stop the adrenalin effect of a panic attack so i don't get the racing heart beat or the hyperventilating but i still have panic attacks, in a way.......but it doesn't stop the thoughts which make my panic attacks role into one another, so I'm having another one before calming down from the first one. It's a viscous cycle, a hard one to break as i cant think positively enough to break it.

I started using a crisis team to try and help me calm down but even they eventually started to doubt i was using the help tips they were trying to give me and stopped helping.

I have even visited the A&E a few times because of my inability to calm down.

Please trust me when i tell you i have tried every method, every tip, every scrap of advice to try and help myself and nothing seems to work anymore, they work for 1, maybe 2 nights and then they don't work, and yes i have tried alternating between them.

I've tried everything to try and help myself also from trying to 'ride' them out or 'embrace' them but that again leads to a cycle of one after the other. I've tried the exercise to get rid of excess energy, meditation, hypnotherapy, lavender, shocking myself out of them with cold water, having warm baths, avoiding caffeine, avoiding television.........everything i can think of and it doesn't work.

Honestly I'm at a loss, i see no hope and am at the end of a very long tether after suffering with them for 8 years.

I'm sorry i cant be more positive with my response, but honestly this is how i feel almost all of the time, every single day.

Danielle xxx

The best thing is I don't even think about anxiety anymore, it's just not on my screen anymore,

Also I want you to know that for all of spending 15 years, day in day out, in an extremely anxious state, my body has suffered no damage whatsoever from it (although I thought I was dying over a thousand times during it!) Hang on in there, things can get better without reason.

Sometimes, when we really give up trying to escape, when our trembling ego is exhausted and we have nothing left, it leaves an opportunity for change.

I am hoping CBT is going to help also but it seems forever away even though i know its only a week and a half away.

I'm just sick now of the sleepless nights and the guaranteed panic attacks throughout, they are doing my head in. I just want a decent nights sleep with no panic attacks and to never have one again, i know that's asking a lot but that's all i want.

It's wreaking havoc on my life, sometimes i wish id never started the medication but I'm smart enough to know i desperately need help from anyone!!

I cant carry on like this.....I know the panic attacks aren't causing any physical harm to my body but the mental side is a whole other story.

At one point I'm sure i almost went crazy, and i mean having to be sectioned crazy.

It's just really taking it's toll on me.....all i want is to be able to go to bed and go to sleep like a normal person.

But thank you for your support around my problems.

Danielle xxx

The body goes into emergency mode to escape a threat. The brain receives emergency messages from the body and looks to determine where the threat is. It can't find anything (because there is nothing wrong!) so deperately starts searching for anything that 'might' go wrong e.g. your health, your heart, your mind, your ability to cope,etc. because it believes that when it can find the reason for the anxiety then it can do something about it. These processes are all hard-wired in all our systems. They are part of the involuntary nervous system which we cannot consciously affect. Which is why you cannot consciously affect your heart rate or sweat glands just by thinking about them.

The adrenaline 'emergency state' is the biggest and most convincing illusion that you will ever meet. After this, everything else is small stuff. You are surviving this, right now. Continue to say well done to yourself. Because this task is simple but hard to do. It is to see through the illusion of the adrenaline state and part of this is to see that it also affects your thinking style. Your brain 'thinks' there is an emergency so all it's thinking becomes fast and desperate and its' big message is 'THIS IS TERRIBLE AND I MUST GET OUT OF IT AT ANY COST!!! It will be constantly scanning you for signs of this 'terrible thing'. The body, meanwhile, has received the emergency message from the brain and goes into overdrive, pumping adrenaline hormone from the adrenal glands into the bloodstream. From there they cause changes in practically every part of your body. Which is why you get headaches, shortness of breath, tiredness, restless legs, exhaustion, strange tingles etc. (the list is long). The brain receives the emergency messages from the body and goes into a higher state of agitation, desperately looking for an answer, and it sends heightened impulses to the body. You are right, it just goes round and round.

You don't need a positive attitudeTell the fear to come to you. Nothing happens and it shows your brain and body that there is nothing there. There is no emergency. There is nothing wrong. There is no threat. You have been doing many different things to try to get rid of this natural defense system because it feels very uncomfortable in your body. But all of that 'running away from' behaviour just convinces the brain that there really is something fearful to run away from.

We need to do the exact opposite of whatever the brain and body are telling us.

This is all very counter-intuitive and goes against all our instincts. Well, it would, wouldn't it, because all our instincts are reacting from the emergency state.

We need to get out of the state, not try to solve it or work with it or control it or conquer it. We just need to side-step it. Easier said than done, but practice will get you there.

And here is the hard and simple thing you need to do. IGNORE IT. Don't waste any more time on it. It wants your attention so it can scream 'emergency' at you. Listen to it but totally disbelieve what it is telling you. Leave it alone. Don't try to deal with it. Don't try to face your fears. Don't look on the web about it. Don't do anything about it. Nothing at all. Just ignore it as best you can. Distract yourself by any means possible. Think of other things. What things? Anything, it doesn't matter. Set yourself a project and do it. Something that excites you.

Sorry, run out of time.

You may have heard this approach before but it is worth a try. it worked for me.

Good luck and remember that this uncomfortable feeling in your body is just your body trying to protect you (mistakenly, as it turns out). Leave it alone and it will leave you alone.

Danielle

See now my biggest problem is that the beta blockers i am taking are doing what they are supposed to be doing and blocking out the physical side of the panic attacks, but the mental side is still there and that's what i need to tackle now.

like i said before sorry about the previous message but thank you for your help, I've never heard someone describe what I'm going through so perfectly.

Danielle x

In that case, I would beg, borrow or steal the money for an appointment with the best private psychiatrist that you can afford from Harley Street (maybe £300) and at least get on the right medication for your situation.

OR

Go to your Doctors, kick up a fuss, demand something be done about your situation. Get a referral to a specialist. Take a friend for support. Write down what is happening to you and take it with you. Impress on them the desperation of your situation.

If Doctor not sympathetic, change to another Doctor.

That's all I can think of to suggest at the moment.

Athol X