My partner is so incensitive!!

Posted , 9 users are following.

Hi ladies,

Just need to have a rant to let it all out. I just came back from walking the dog with my partner but sat here angry, sad and lonely as he asked me if I had a nice lie in knowing last few days my anxiety has kicked off again and I'm waking up in early hours with it and acid reflux is waking me at 2am most mornings coughing. I have been on sick for a month now and he works full time but minimum wage and I get the impression he thinks I'm having a great time at home all day not having to work. When I said you know I'm not sleeping well he just rolled his eyes and said that's life though isn't it what your suffering with Agggrrr men!! Most of the time I bite my tongue and wear the I'm happy mask but sometimes you just think your just so insensitive. Rant over lol.

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  • Posted

    I spelt insensitive wrong on the title lol
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  • Posted

    Also wanted to say he's all I have and my dog I have no family so if hes not supportive who do I have 😔

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  • Posted

    While my postmenopause suffering did not cause my divorce it definitely sped it along. I felt lonely and miserable and it got very bad. To be honest even after the divorce I still have health issues but I realized that if I got really sick I did not have a partner who wold take care of me like my dad took care of my mom before he died. I had already survived a ruptured appendix and a bad gall bladder. Even before this I remember complaining about my period making me feel so bad. I am sure I was having menopausal symptoms but they were dulled because of my birth control. I had gone on birth control in my 20s to survive my bad periods. Anyway I wasn't feeling good and my ex said something and I told why I didn't feel good. He went on to say how his friend's wife had been on her period and she wasn't in a bad mood. She was in her 30s that is a bit different. My ex isn't a bad guy just not someone I could continue with as a life partner. I am not advocating divorce but menopause helps weed out the family and friends who aren't going to support us. 

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    • Posted

      Hi, thanks for your reply. I agree totally that it makes you realise who is going to support you in the future and who isn't. Tbh I had warning signs when all this started 10 months ago and had a terrible time with anxiety it nearly broke me completely and had some moments where my partner tryed to help but when nothing was lifting the black cloud over me he just couldn't cope with it all anymore and shut me out. I am really afraid of future as I know if things don't improve and we have financial problems on top I can't see how our relationships going to survive this. I so hope I'm wrong and we get through it as a team but I just don't feel positive about us right now 😔

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  • Posted

    Menopause can be like child birth and men would have a hard time with both.
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  • Posted

    Hi sarah

    I doubt your evening is uncommon, certainly not in my house either. I think sometimes because they don't get it, they just can't empathise at all. My husband is great, but give someone an emotional crisis and he cannot cope at all. Generally he likes a nice smile regardless of how I'm feeling.... He just doesn't want anything to rock his boat. I've been on sick leave for 3 months, he never once asked how I was feeling, until I was feeling better and he was very sure that balance had been restored. My sister bought me a copy of men are from Mars, I have to read it at some point, apparently it holds all of the answers I need! It's not how it should be, just the way some are designed I think. I choose to make allowances, because he has done the same. Hope you enjoyed your walk though. Feel better soon xxx

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    • Posted

      Hey sassy, thanks for reply. Yes I agree mine is exactly same can't cope with someone with emotional crisis either, We both had tough upbringings which is why I hoped he get it more but both our mums suffered terribly with Meno(his mum still is at 62 with paranoia now) I lost mine when I was 23. He doesn't get it with his mum so I suppose I should have known. I may have a read of that as sounds a good insight into men's minds 😀

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  • Posted

    Are you taking anything for your moodiness? Go to your gyne and ask for something. Why live in misery when there are ways to combat them? This will take the edge off so you can go back to work.
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  • Posted

    I just tell people and my ex husband that I have Adrenal Fatigue as if you say hormones they just DO NOT GET IT! It’s not really a lie as adrenals and hormones are in sync with one another and it’s probably why we get the terrible fatigue . I do work out a lot so it’s perfectly believable . 

    Unless another woman is going or has been through it NOBODY would or could understand the severity of this ... I know personally I had NO CLUE ! 

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    • Posted

      Yes I agree Lori, if someone ,male or female, hasn't gone through it how can they ever understand. It's like not just this , anything that no one had been through like a few years ago I pulled my calf muscle and it took a month to heal and I was limping around for weeks and no one understood how bad that was and I will never forget the stares from people making me feel alienated cause your limping around.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sarah x firstly what kind of dog do you have and what job do you do? I mean do you work split shifts? I ask about your dog for a reason 🤔

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    • Posted

      Hi, I have a Staffordshire bull terrier called Lizzy, she's on my profile pic but she's a little older now. I feel she's the only one that cares about me. I worked part time in the same job for the last 13 years but it was an all male dominated place and the boss who's only been there for last 4 years is a total idiot and very ruthless not just with me with everyone he deems a weak link in the company.

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