Posted , 8 users are following.
I’m 48yrs old and it seemed one fine day my libido (and all feelings about it) just shut down. I’m taking a low dose HT and it doesn’t seem to help in this arena. I’m also frequently more easily agitated at just the thought of anything asso w/sex as arousal seems like...work. I miss the old me and am wondering if she’ll return. Any suggestions and IS THIS NORMAL?
0 likes, 11 replies
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gailannie kelly43012
Posted
Hi Kelly,
This libido issue is a real killer and something I don't think we talk about enough. It's almost as though women want to pretend it away. Most women just don't talk about it. Many act like things are just fine. And I'm sure there are those on the far end of the bell curve who don't have this as a problem, but I truly believe the MAJORITY of women (and men) do. So to answer your question, IS THIS NORMAL? I believe so.
There are some women who say that their HRT has really helped them with this. And those "experts" who say that testosterone is the key to libido for women. But the majority of "experts" who say that estrogen and progesterone is pretty much all we need.
You could certainly try to tweak your HRT and see if it helps. This menopause thing is nothing to sneeze at. It takes it's tole on every single part of us.
lynda20916 kelly43012
Posted
Hi Kelly,
This is entirely normal for some women. I think that first you might want to consider whether this is really a problem for you. Do you really care whether you have sex again? Or does the pressure to want to have sex come from a partner who is more desirous of sex than you are? Your absence of interest has nothing to do with them, after all. But many find it hard to understand that and feel rejected, especially if having sex with someone means that they are lovable and desirable--a demonstration of their worth.
In the US, women are inundated with the information that they "should" or "ought" to want sex. That they should seek out sex and stay "sexy" whatever that is. Engaging in sex is touted as one of the ways to remain perpetually young.
Remember, that the pill touted as "women's viagra" was a commercial flop.
During menopause, production of the hormone testosterone in women drops. It only takes a very small amount of testosterone to increase sexual desire in women. But doctors are reluctant to prescribe it.
Menopause has many stresses, physical effects and emotional uncertainties. It's a lot to deal with. Many doctors, spouses and partners are virtually incapable of understanding this.
So, really, it's up to you to decide what you want to or don't want to do. Some women say good-bye to sex with relief. Others would prefer not to.
Best of luck! xx
ImagineOneDay kelly43012
Posted
jcat05 kelly43012
Posted
Hi Kelly,
I'm your age, and jeez, yeah, last year my libido went way down. Or, it's like, I'm interested, but I have very reduced sensation in my clit (or all over body?)...I used to masturbate a lot, and I haven't done that in months. Not as lubed as I was. Boyfriend can get me going, but yeah, it's...work. Very distressing. Especially since I'm in a relatively new relationship, and HE has the libido of a 20-year-old (though he's 47)!
Can I ask what you're on HT for? I'm very new to this whole world of HT. But like you, my hair is falling out, my skin is suddenly ick,, my digestion is crap. My moods...are ok, at least at the moment. Periods up and down.
I'd love to PM you. Are we allowed to do this?
jude84900 jcat05
Posted
jocelyn05,
Sounds like a familiar story. As our bodies wind down our hormones continue to deplete as menopause nears. Eventually lubrication ends and sex becomes uncomfortable sometimes downright painful. Vaginal atrophy is something many women get that is not pleasant either with the thinning of the vaginal tissues opening the door for more problems. Like you I experienced less sensitivity and longer periods to become lubricated. At 55 my periods finally ended and within 3 months my lubrication was almost gone, sex started to become uncomfortable. I already had the other unpleasant symptoms such as thinning skin, hair loss and over all feeling like I was getting old. Didn't take long after my periods ended that I knew I wanted something else besides the everyday deterioration. I am now 57, been on BHRT for over two years that has included compounded bio identical estrogens and testosterone ( testosterone will help greatly with libido issues ) and progesterone. I have a very fulfilling sex life that is free from these issues now. I go to a holistic doctor because I found right away, doctors don't want to really get into hormone replacement and the ones that do don't seem to know the importance of running good labs and running them regularly so women don't get too much and only what their body needs to feel good again. The right supplements play an important role as well. Doctors don't like hormone replacement and especially when a woman mentions testosterone replacement. Why? who knows. Women have had testosterone in their bodies their whole life. Men get testosterone supplementation all the time. There is good bio identical compounded testosterone cream for women and testosterone pellets too. Hope this helps.
jcat05 jude84900
Posted
Thanks, Jude, that's helpful! Glad that you were able to reverse some things through BHRT! May I ask where you're located, and are there any holistic docs you'd recommend?
Also, do you think one has to wait until full-on Menopause (ugh, I even hate to say the word) to do HRT, as my hormones are still all over the place..?
jude84900 jcat05
Posted
This is where a good doctor that knows what their doing comes in play. If I would have known 10 years ago while I was going through peri ( for 10 years ) I would have started with my holistic doctor then and gotten my lab numbers. During that 10 years there was hot flushes, night sweats and monthly headaches on the mark 3 days leading up to every period. That went on for years. Knowing what I know now, I didn't have to suffer that many years. Again, it was the depletion of hormones. It only makes sense why we feel the way we do at this time in our life. To bring those hormones up to levels our body was use to when we were younger only makes sense. Its a personal choice. Some women prefer to go different routes, some prefer nothing. I was a person that never took medicines EVER and was determined I was going to be strong and tough this menopause thing out. Some women, including myself try coconut oil and all kinds of different stuff to make them feel better in the lubrication department but keep in mind, overall, what our bodies are lacking, our hormones. BTW, I live in the states and holistic or alternative doctors are growing around the country making them easy to find no matter where you live.
jcat05 jude84900
Posted
Thanks, Jude. I have worked with western and holistic docs, got lab results and they're fluctuating...one reason they say that it's tough to prescribe HRT now because some times of the month the numbers are normal, and some they're way down (or up).
Taking Adrenal support (though I'm not convinced of this benefit), and will re-visit the idea of adding estrogen/progesterone/testosterone.
Tried Progesterone (Prometrium) recently to try to normalize cycle, but it made me so tired I couldn't function.
Just to clarify, do you have sufficient natural lube/desire these days, as a result of HRT?
jude84900 jcat05
Posted
I understand the fluctuating hormones. The " normal " range can drive us crazy. Some women many go through life on the way high end, off the charts while others do fine on the way low end off the charts. What is normal? Problem is we go through our whole life never getting these important hormones checked until now so we really don't know how our hormones ran when we felt good. The experience you had with the progesterone making you sleepy might be too much of it. Maybe a lower dose. Did you take it at night? To clarify your question, yes I have no problem with natural lubrication, desire now. You might consider just a compounded testosterone cream for now. At your age your levels are probably low. Just a thought.
jcat05 kelly43012
Posted
Thanks so much! I think i tried it at night and during the day...and your right, a lower dose might be better. I'll consider the compounded T, too...
jude84900 jcat05
Posted