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So this is going to be the last time I come on here and I want too share my story with you.
Since February 2014 I started having panic and anxiety attacks, at this time they were manageable, I was still getting on with everyday life, going to work, socialising, going to concerts and festivals, traveling etc. I wasn't going too let them stop me from living my life. Throughout the year I was put on different types of medication, none seemed too work, or so I thought. Rewind to the Summer of 2013 - I lost my grandfather suddenly too lung cancer, in those 7 months I watched this man go from an outgoing, full of energy character too nothing, throughout all of this I was really proud of how I managed to keep it all together... So then comes my moment of madness - I decided to stop taking my medication. From that point my mood declined, and then as we celebrated coming into 2014 my grandfather's death hit me and it hit my hard.
September 2014 - Went too the doctors, my anxiety was through the roof. All of a sudden my doctor wanted me too have blood tests and an ECG, when they started asking me questions about my heart it started a whole other level of events... Of course my results came back fine but they put me on a waiting list too see a Cardiologist. Then here came the OCD, I became obsessed with my heart every time I would have a panic attack I would concentrate on my heart, then they put me back on fluoxetine in November 2014 - with me not being on it for so long I started having the lovely side effects, I lost my appetite, couldn't sleep, I was a wreck, one night in work as I worked in the catering industry I was always on my feet, running on very little energy my heart fluttered and all of a sudden I started having a panic attack thinking I was having a heart attack I almost passed out and after that I swore I was never touching medication again.
2015. I went too the doctors again because I was worried about my heart, I felt like I was going mad. The doctor then told me he could hear a innocent murmur, told me they were common etc but because my anxiety was through the roof he couldhear it more, but nothing too worry about. I was beside myself, I started suffering from palpitations, skipped beats you name it I had it lol! Then I started too become extremely fatigued and withdrawn from the world, I would rather stay home and sleep, everyday became the same old thing - get up, go to work, come home, sleep. By April 2015, I became sick of the constant agro in work because I was worried about my health and decided to quit my job, I was a mess. For about a month I lay around with no energy wondering what the hell was happening too me, thinking my heart was making me feel like this, but it wasn't it was all in my head. By June I saw the cardiologist and everything was fine, I thought that would end it all but it didn't I started too become even more worse than I was before, I still wasn't convinced, by July I wanted too die I would sit in my room wondering how the hell I was going to get myself out of this, the circles under my eyes became bigger and bigger then my mother came gave me a big hug and told me everything was going too be alright, she ran me a bath, and I begun my fluoxetine 20mg. The side effects were horrific I thought I was going too die, but here I am 5/6 weeks later, I have colour in my cheeks again, I'm laughing and joking, I'm thinking more rationally about things, my mind feels clear and I'm looking towards the future.
Don't lose hope and stay strong. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.😊❤
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