My story on citalopram

Thanks Mark!x

Yeah, I felt like that most days when I first came on them. I felt like a zombie! I'm on 30mg now too x

I’ve Been on them for for about five weeks now but only been on 30mg for two weeks if that makes sense and I still feel like it how long did yours last for before it went away x

Hey Lois...  good morning

 

Good morning JoJo.how are you and your family doing?

Good morning my friend!!! 

Can we chat on this thread now?  Like you had issues with thread that Kate and Matt chat on, I have issues with the one we were chatting on. 

When are you coming back to the United States?

I'm praying for Xmas..but the have to go back for Chile for one year...so if I come to Florida .will only be for a week.

Are we like high jacking this thread..lol

Oh no...  I never get to talk to you.  Only this silly chat.  You know that when you are back in Florida I want to talk to you on the phone. 

And I do apologize for hijacking these threads.. but for some reason and maybe it's my computer, but this is not a user friendly website for me.  In all of these conversations, I wish I had something to add.  I have no experience, no success story..  YET.  Can't give actual side effects or withdrawals.  Only what I see.  It's nice to read positive success stories. 

Lois..  Brooks is changing again.  I don't know what is going on now. 

It's the ups and downs of this Medication..it's all within the norm..but at least he has had some good hours /and he is sleeping.. sleeping is very important . Because when he is sleeping the meds are doing there thing.

It's weird.  We are like one day shy of 9 months..  yeah I know his dose changed but still 9 months, and now he's reverting back to like Aug / Sep.  I am really not sure if that's because I doubled his dose of pot or not, but I do feel deep down inside there is a change.  He is having more better moments and his violence is less severe.  For instance last night there wasn't any destruction, just attempts on doing harm but no actual harm was done.  If he wanted to destroy, he would have but he didn't.  Now he's back to the dry mouth which he hasn't had in a long time, probably over a month. 

He more than likely is having a blip.

What is a blip? 

A blip is when some of the side effects /symptoms of anxiety return for a short moment.and you feel like the Medication is not working..but in reality is just a blip.. katecogs explains it much better..example I had a blip that lasted two weeks from family death.

I'm sorry about a family member passing

That's some blip.  Let's see what happens today and tomorrow.  I did double his pot dose, and it helps tremendously, but I can't keep giving that much to him because I'm only allowed to get a certain amount and he will fall short of having enough for a month.  I really can't tell if he is better because of the pot or if the Celexa is starting to work now. 

Don't underestimate the celexa.. every one always underestimate the celexa..and then come off or try to wean off because they think is there natural state feeling well.so they think they don't need the celexa.and bang..right back where they started..

What do you mean?  I'm not touching his Celexa dose. 

Ok good..what it means is the combination of all his meds including pot is helping him...if that is what you see..then it is working...and that's what you been waiting for..so that is great..

I had to double his pot dose for survival.  By doing that, I really don't know how much the Celexa is helping him until I am able to lower his pot back down to normal. 

We are only allowed a certain amount in a 30 day period.  He's getting more each day than what he's allowed. 

It could be a combination of both.. Thats what I meant that don't underestimate the power of celexa.because it could also be the celexa.

From your lips to Gods ears.  I sure hope so Lois

We'll chat later.  Have a great day!

Ok JoJo..lol..I fell asleep..

HAHAHA!  Ah the life..  good for you ..  I wish I didn't have to work. 

Well so far a really good day.  He is eating like a piggy, first time since July I think that he asked for food early in the morning.  He's laughing and skipping and I do think he also is taking a nap and he should be in school!  But I only have so much control.  My bf takes care of him in the morning and he lets Brooks get away with that. 

I do believe I see light at the end of this tunnel. 

Good morning Lois.  Yesterday wasn't a bad day, but today he woke up ok then flipped for about 20-25 minutes and went from Dr. Jekyll and turned into Mr. Hyde.  Not looking forward to see what I am coming home to.  See this scares me.  He never ever used to do this before the anesthesia..  so I don't know if this is part of the anxiety or part of the mania.  He uses his ipad as a weapon and goes on a destroying spree

What do you think?

It could be both the celexa and the anesthesia..I know 20to 25 minutes of his episodes could seem like huge long periods .but is it like months ago?or is he improving?

It is so hard to say.  I stopped writing notes about 3 weeks ago and I doubled his pot. 

If it's hard for you to assess his condition .that is a good thing ..that means he still has drama but not like before..so I think is good progress..you should write down all of his symptoms/side effects..and rate them from a one to a ten .10 been worst..and see how that adds up.

I really have to think about it because I feel like we are all so worn down and stressed to the max.  Over all his outbursts used to last longer and more frequent.  If he didn't get all the pot, not sure how bad he really would be.  I cant help but think that if he was only on the Celexa, he'd still be out of control. 

From the anesthesia, he turned very cold and detached.  After taking the Celexa he started hugging and kissing and loving like he used to be so I there's no doubt he benefited from the med.  But I just don't know what's making him turn and not knowing when it's going to happen too.  He did have that panic look on his face during the whole time.  I tried a diff strain of pot on him today and it may not even work for him so what he's like today may be the real him.

I understand the changing of any thing . including the pot strength could make a difference..pray that is not the case.. recovery takes along long time.. specially with his condition.

It's been going on for such a long time, I am so tired of it. 

From living with it 24/7 I feel like I'm too close to the situation.  My bf's son lives with us.  Three nights ago he said "Brooks has gotten so much better than he was a month ago".  But is that the added pot I've been giving him..  don't know.  It's so weird..  I feel like he is better, but on other things he's not. 

That is a big possibility..when I was going thru my drama..if I didn't take my zanex.i would also be like Mrs.jekal.i couldn't deal without the zanex..but now fine.i refused to suffer..

Thank you my savior.  This is important information for me..  you took Xanax until the end of your recovery?  You are lucky you didn't have any withdrawals from that.  I wish I could give him a Xanax!!  It's so much cheaper. 

Nine month Lois..  nine months today.

I still take a .25 of zanex only when I feel the butterflies..my mom has been taking Klonopin for twenty years ..for sleep..and she fine..you know like you said everything has a side effects or coincides with other meds.as long as is not abused is ok..most of people that take schedule one meds need them..is the ones searching for that good feel high.that makes it bad for us.

So it is most likely is his anxiety triggering the mania to come out.  He was fine, and then he wasn't.  Flipped like a switch.  Because isn't mania impulsive destructive actions?  Holy smokes Lois he attempted to brake another TV this morning.  This time it was the big one and that's not a $130 replacement.  My heart was in my throat watching him banging it with his ipad.  I keep a video camera on him when he's at home, I don't like those kind of surprises. 

That's exactly right.anxiety brings the worst out of anyone..it is a strange feeling ..it brings out all kinds of demons...I hate her...

I hate her too!  I wish I can kill the beast!!

 

It took 9 months for Kate's son to recover...  it's 9 months for Brooks.  I really was holding onto hope that he would keep moving forward.

Yes that's true..but Kate's son was on constant dose..when you yoyo with dosages is like starting all over again.just keep that in mind..some folks like me Kate her son brooks.dont have the luxury of saying I was fine after 3months completely recovered..it took a friend of mine and his male one year.

Doesn't that count for anything that his dose has only been lowered And not really increased in the last 8 months?

Yes it counts..but is the consistency of the dosage is the key word.

I just wish I knew if this is right for him.  Your friend had to wait a year before he knew it worked?  This is what drives me crazy..  how do you really know?  Ok I do know he is getting benefits from the med, but it's a crap shoot.  He may not be recovered until he gets down to 5mgs.  or 7 1/2 mgs.  Or maybe he does need a higher dose of lithium.  The pharmacist told me that SS can happen when a person's dose is increased, so during the first 3-4 weeks it can happen.  Did you read that?

You mean the lithium dose increase could give him ss..if that's the case don't do it yet..

Yes, since he's on Celexa and Lithium, it's ok the way it is.  But if either one of them gets increased, the pharmacist said there will always be the risk of SS during the onset of an increased dose. 

So let well be .you will be decreasing him when.?

The Celexa?  Geez Lois, I really don't know what I should do. 

His on ten?

Is he on 10 or 7 .of celexa

Yes ten.

Ok let him settle on that dose..his having good moments weathered is from the pot or not...I know pot has calming qualities.so let's pray is both the pot and celexa ..

I think I lowered it on Nov 21st. to ten.  I'd like to see what he's like next Tues, Dec 5th.  That'll be 2 weeks.  I want to give him just a little bit less pot next week.  If he still needs the high dose of pot he's getting, than he's not settling down with that dose of Celexa at all.  I can't keep giving him this high dose of pot because I will run out before I can get more. 

And what are you lowering it to?

I don't know.  If he doesn't settle, there has to be a reason for that.  I can't keep high dosing him on pot because the pot will run out and he'll have nothing and I'll have nothing but a mess on my hands.  It's hard to take 10% out of 10mgs.  Those pills are so tiny.  Maybe 7 1/2 ?

Yes that sounds about right ..you should ask your doctor for celexa in liquid form is very easy to get correct dosage...

That doctor is sharp.  He'll know something is up if I ask for liquid.  Hum.. 

What do you think?  If he doesn't show any improvement, and I'll take the littlest of improvements, but if he does not improve at all in a week...?  Two weeks?  Or until everyone around him begs me to

But he has been improving right?his not so bad like before?so eventually is going to happen anyway.so let's pray.7an1/2 is small dose .so hopefully he won't feel it..

OR..  because you know after he gets that blood test the doctor will most likely increase his lithium, just let him increase the lithium and keep the celexa at 10mgs.

What do you think?

I agree I think ten is a good dose ..after all you been thru with him I think ten is at a safe point to lower or get off...

Not looking forward to this blood test on Sat   then we go back to the doctor 12/15.  Then I have to worry about SS.  When I asked for that blood test he said... Serotonin levels are not correlated with clinical significance.  What does that mean? 

In other words is irrelevant what the test shows?

I have no clue what that means.  He sent me a note in the mail. 

He reply that.because you ask for a SS.test?

The key word to his reply to you ..are not .....

Yes, I asked him for that test because when the pharmacist gives me a heads up..  I listen. 

In other words he is implying his serotonin levels are not correlated with clinical significant .example .why are you asking for that test.it isn't going to make a difference any way...that's what I'm getting from it.i could be wrong..

If he was having ss.trust me you would know by now.ss is very serious and dangerous.

Maybe I'm wrong, but since the pharmacist made me aware of the possibility, the doctor should have too.  I think since the doctors do this all day long and the odds are very small, they don't think it can happen, maybe cause the doses are that high.  I really don't know.  I guess I'll find out next week. 

I thought about your question all night long when you asked me if I think he's getting better.  I have to say yes.  Can't put my finger on it, because he has so many symptoms and with him having seizures makes his anxiety much worse.  During the first 1-2 months of being on Celexa, if he felt a seizure coming on the Celexa calmed his anxiety and we didn't know he was going to have one.  But when all the delayed side effects started coming out, his pre-seizure anxiety was worse than the Tasmanian Devil.  He literally tore apart the house and us with it.  He pulled out so much of my hair that I could have made a wig..  But because that feeling like I'm always in a crisis, it's hard to see little improvements.  He hasn't pulled my hair in probably about 3 weeks.  Yesterday mornings Mr. Hyde could have been him feeling the seizure coming on.  He's due to have them tomorrow. 

I was re-reading my conversation with you for the last 2-3 weeks.  It is much better

Ok I feel much better now...some improvement is a hell of alot better..the wig made me laugh...😂😂😂

He seems to be very mellow today and the hand wringing is more than 50% gone.  I haven't seen his legs shaking in a week and he is eating normal food again.  It looks like he gained back about 3 lbs.  Now that yesterday is over, and he had a good day at school and a really good night, I have to believe that yesterday morning is seizure related. 

 

😁😘👍🙏

Oh Lois...   I spoke TOO soon!  He violently attacked me, ripped my hair out of my head, broke my only tv that was worth anything.  Holes everywhere.  He just snapped.  He hasn't don't that in 3 weeks.  And I think I'm getting a black eye 😓

Omg.jojo iam speech less,..what do you think you should as far as the mania goes?

It was the sound  of the dogs nails on the floor!

JoJo unfortunately sound issues for me lasted along time months ..is very annoying and disturbing to some ones ears to have this condition brought on by ssris.. because one minute your hearing normal.the next is like hearing nails on a chalkboard..!

This is why I started the anti anxiety meds because of the sounds after the anesthesia.   So is this the mania??

I believe is a little bit of both..he had it before ssri.brought on by anesthesia.and celexa is magnifying it..

I don't understand.   What is causing this sound issue?  Anxiety?   Mania??

Yes it got worse after Celexa!  Why does this mean for him being on Celexa?  

I don't think I have mania .so I'm betting anxiety.which is setting of his mania..to have both the mania and the anxiety.i hate her so muchhhh.is very disturbing to him..imagine when you had the swallowing issues..well the sound is just the same or worst.

It will pass... remember your going to lower his dose again..so it should be milder to his brain...

I wasn't planning on doing that this soon Lois.  

What do I do now?  I need his anxiety better.  This med helps him but is making him worse too?  This is too much.  What am I supposed to think or do now??   I really felt he was getting better.   

He is his just having those backward moments..those will Lessen as the recovery proceeds..that's the way this med works..if you saw improvement that's fantastic..the only thing is your experiencing his bad moments like they where eternal.and I see you..you know how that horrible anxiety works. You have experience it.

They will lessen?  They were severe before he Celexa now its worse than severe.  

Am I supposed to do something?

His been having those up and downs since day one of us chatting..and you have seen some improvement..but you gotta see that his not constantly like that..it may seem like that . ssris on none verbal person is tough.you can only see his reaction.do you at all have some type of verbal communication that he understands?

I mean how do you cure a manic illness induced by anesthesia?

For all you know he could of developed cyclomythia.

OMG what is that...?

Is a mood disorder that brings mania ..it cycles between manic episodes to down episodes

No i think it's mania.  

Did your sound issue end when your anxiety ended and you were cured?  Or did it last longer after you recovered?

His sound issue def has gotten worse after celexa

Celexa did make it worst for me.remember I told you I was having withdrawals from the other ssris.but then gradually very slowly it subsided..most definitely celexa makes anxiety symptoms 100x worst.and those side effects from celexa also mimic anxiety symptoms..and because his autistic and all the meds he is taking..you can perhaps guess it could be a combination of all meds...are you giving him all meds at once?.because it would probably be better at different times

Not really..  

I have to believe that he's only better because of the pot.  I was going to lower it today, but after what he did to me, I gave him a healthy dose. 

Back in April we used to have 4 dogs here.  Two of them were big dogs.  He only had an issue with them if they cried of barked.   

Now they can't even be seen.  If he sees any animal he has a panic attack.   Having sound issues is why we started celexa.   

I'm in really bad shape today 😫 My hands are numb and I can't move my neck.   Welts all over my scalp 😢

So sorry to hear your suffering.. hopefully he will feel better when u decrease him to five.are you eventually going to tell his doctor about the dosage changes..?your taking him for blood work today?

Looking and watching stuff on you tube, I think he has been misdiagnosed.  He never had anxiety, sounds gave him anxiety.  And when watching clips of Misophonia, I feel this is what he has.  And SSRI's do make it worse.   

The bottom line is that after the anesthesia he had sounds issues and violence.   Two years later he still has sound issues and violence.  

I'm at a loss right now..  

Once again, nobody is around today to help me.  As long as I have the blood eat done in time before dec 15th.  

Not telling him about the dose, telling him that his anxiety and sound sensitivity is worse.   It gets worse the longer time goes on.  He is able to tolerate less and less.  

Ok partner, how do we get him lowered on this stuff?

I always felt that therapy should be done for this sound issue.  Like putting earphones on him and doing whatever therapy they do.   But due to his reaction, nobody wants to work with him.   I was willing to do it at my home, but nothing..

Omg.i thought the same misoohonia

Misophonia

Beens miss diagnosed is not good!

Thee misophonia..is a phobia,I don't think is that,..since you mention the Miss diagnosed issue. Do you think is a type of a bipolar?

It worst comes to worst.the Prozac. Is the one med . approved for autism..

It's not a phobia.   It's a hatred and no tolerance with sounds.  I watched on you tube that people can become violent from this, and attack.  That has to be it.   He NEVER did this prior to anesthesia.  

Now what...

I know one thing celexa magnifys any and all anxiety symptoms...so it could be very well be that's whats happening.its just a waiting game because the changing of a dose is not the same for everyone.some feel good within weeks some take many months .on a consistent dose.!!!

I don't go on u tube .lots of fake info.is worst than dc.google...the first time I search what I had on you tube ..I had cancer or MS..I had neither.

Anxiety us the culprit here..she will mess up all of your senses.over and over again..

Ok if his having issues with the misophonia.and the culprits are the dogs? What do you think I would do about the dogs?

I'll never get rid of our two little puppies.  Heck, I used to take him and one of the dogs to a dog park.   The more I read about t, the more I feel I'm right.   Where would the sound of dogs or birds or crickets come from?  

I don't know where to begin now.  

When I had my sound issues I could stand the sound of children or my husband or the blender..now I can't sleep with out rain sounds on my tablet...go figure..I have been giving children sewing classes for years .and then suddenly I couldn't deal with there voices.. thank goodness that's all in the past ..but it was very disturbing for me..

That celexa brought things out of me I never thought I possess...

Please clarify...  Celexa made this worse that you already had, or Celexa caused it?

And when did it go away?

Celexa brought it on ..and celexa made it go away...sound issues lasted months they just gradually subsided with all the other symptoms

His started before Celexa and got a lot worse..

Where does this leave us?

Did your sound issue go away when the anxiety went away?

Fourth day of violence in the last six days.   Ok so it's not getting better.  He's just all over the place.   

Now this proves that is it the pot stablizibg him.  

How do we get him to five?

I do understand why his doctor wants him on a higher dose.   Because he was doing well on 20, then he slowly went downhill.   Probably because Celexa makes mania worse.  Now I regret making such a late appointment.  I was hoping he'd get better before he saw the doctor.   

Yes mam my sound issues went away when anxiety disappeared

Good morning Lois.  I've been mia here.  Things just aren't going well.  It's been too long on this stuff and without any light at the end of this tunnel.  None of us at this point know anything anymore.  His violence and his anxiety keeps getting worse.  I had to lower his pot but still is getting at least 50% more than he was before Celexa and his anxiety accompanies the violence and it's not getting better.  He still is having the side effects of Celexa.  We don't even think he's manic.  We just think it's anxiety rearing it's ugly head.  We've lost all hope.

You know about Friday.  Saturday was ok and Sunday wasn't bad.  Monday was strange.  MAYBE he had little anxiety because he fell asleep around 4:30pm and from that time until we got home from work, he peed himself 3 times in his clothes.  Then yesterday back to severe anxiety and violence again.  He was only awake maybe 30 mins this morning and holes in my door and wall.  My doors in my house look like termites ate all through it with patch work putty and paint.  At least the walls I can spackle and paint over.  But another CD player broken and he tried braking another TV. 

The effects of any sound is making him crazy which is why I think he goes after the TVs. 

 

Good morning .If you think is the celexa.?then take him off.he can't get any worst...his already feeling crappy already for all those months.what do you think?

We all agree it's been anxiety this whole time and none of us think he's manic.  I don't think any doctor has a clue.  It's been 2 weeks yesterday on 10mgs.  Does that mean anything..  no idea.  He's been on this poison for too long.  You've asked me many times if he's better.  Better than he was before he started Celexa?  Or better with the side effects?

Both....

On the Celexa, he only got better with hugs and not being afraid to go to bed.  Those I can say were the only 2 benefits he got out of it.  Everything else has been worse. 

Oh and the side effects of not eating or sleeping is gone.   That could also be from the increased pot, but he eats now and sleeps every night..  no more all nighters. 

Don't take him off.his side effects are slowly dwindling..that's how it is...that's progress weather you like it or not...his improving .is up to you to decide if it's the pot..?was he on pot before the celexa?

Yes, he has been on that for about 2 years now. 

What I think didn't mix well was what he USED to be on.  He used to be on Risperdal, Abilify and Luvox.  That didn't mix with the pot.  Risperdal is a common drug given to autistic kids, but that's another deadly drug. 

So you REALLY thinks he's improving??  We aren't feeling anything is working on him. 

Wow those are some drugs.i think his improving .he is eating which was a main concern for you.he is sleeping which I think is fantastic..and his other side effects/symptoms will start to disappeared slowly real slow..your goal is to keep him on five.?

So if you don't think is mania..is the anesthesia issue still relevant..?

I have no clue what to do Lois.  Five?  Ten?  How will I know? 

I feel, his anger has gotten much worse.  Is that because he's just tired of feeling the anxiety...?  It's all a guessing game.  He started that anxiety in August.  In Aug he contained it and he also contained it in Sep too.  Now he's doing a lot of reacting. 

He started celexa because of sound issues..which are link to anxiety as far as I'm concerned.so if his anxiety started in aug.celexa is definitely doing it's thing..highten anxieties of all types etc.and because his dosage has been play with alot that's part of the reason his feelings are all over the place.the pot is his zanex..so I think his making progress.remember when you where panicking that he wasn't eating.. well now his eating and sleeping..

I know.  You are right about the eating and the sleeping.  That both came back.  His anxiety to me, seemed a lot worse a month ago, but his violent outbursts are worse.  Is that mania?  Is that just him being tired of anxiety?  Back in the beginning of October, he didn't look normal anymore.  He has looked normal for about a week now, yes he looks normal again and I thank God for that!!!  But when he was having the full blown panic attacks 24/7 he was more in control. 

Maybe your confusing irratibility with mania? Because of his lack of communication and his irratibility been so bothering to him.that he may use rage to combat his anxiety?

Boy when I had irratibility from celexa..I didn't have rage .but boy I sure look like I did.my faces I made where almost to cringing to watch.

So he is improving no more faces.he has appetite he is sleeping..those are baby steps .

I never felt he had mania.  The other doctor did that's why he was put on Lithium.  I don't think a mood stabilizer is a bad thing.  But again, I don't know if the mixing of meds should be done if it's not needed.  This is very scary for me.  He's already on Zyprexa which is supposed to me a mood stabilizer.  I don't think it ever did anything because he's still exactly the same as he was before he started it.  That's the main reason why I want him off of that once he or if he ever gets that anxiety down!  Not keeping him on something he doesn't need.  Because of the Zyprexa, he also takes another med to counteract him getting rigid muscles. 

So his on alot of meds..I think the most yucky long term med.is the lithium..I was on a mood stabilizer too.that nasty risperdal.it didn't do nothing for me except give me Zigzag vision..if he has to take zyprexa and another med.for muscle rigid cause by zyprexa.wow.so you know celexa makes anxiety worst before it gets better..but been on all those meds.isnt it hard to determine what is doing what..?????

He has been on Zyprexa for over a year now.  No side effects other than eating and sleeping.  Long term side effects are Parkinson's

What do you mean about yucky long term with Lithium?  My bf doesn't think he needs to be on that at all. 

What's your take on this?

With lithium he has to take blood test all the time?

I am back.  I went out for a walk.  I go for a walk for 45 mins every day during my lunch.  It's my therapy. 

Yes he has to keep getting blood tests.  So do you think it's anxiety or Misophonia?  He had the sound issues after anesthesia.  No clue, that's all I know.

I'm almost certain is anxiety.and because celexa highten anxieties ..his feeling those feelings more intense.

Walking is lovely..

I will walk in drizzle, I will walk in the snow the ice..  I put these things under my sneakers or boots to grip the ice in the winter. I just won't walk in the rain.  It's the only therapy that I get.

The more videos that I watch, on other that have misophonia, they all have an issue with other chewing, shuffling papers, normal things, but not animals. 

Misophonia is very rare in some one his age..and it usually happens to girls that are between 9and13 years old.

Yes I read that, but men do have it too..  The only reason why I don't think he has that is because when he gets the pot, and it's doing it's thing, those sounds don't effect him as bad.  Back in June we had just given him a dose of pot and went to a house party.  We had to be real careful because there was a newborn there and one of the sounds is a baby crying..  but these people had a dog that hated my boy friend.  This dog barked non stop the entire time he saw Rich.  Brooks put up with it for about 2 hours and then he attacked me.  Yeah, it was time to go.  The bad thing about the pot vs. Xanax, is the pot benefits doesn't last as long.  And the worse the anxiety, you know, the less the pot will work.

Last night was another bad night.  During the night he stood in front of a calendar that I have hanging up.  Every year I create a calendar with pictures of our memories.  He stood and was staring at how happy and carefree he used to me and his old pictures were all full of smiles without any pain.  He looked like all he wanted to do is cry

Awww .that sounds so sad..but I'm betting he is getting better.out of the long list you have of his symptoms.you could check 3off...

Lois, this is the second time I told you he has stopped something, and then he does it.  So anxiety reared it's ugly head as the night went on.  So he woke up with it, made some holes, had a great day and back to looking like crazy eddie by the end of the night.  Didn't want to be in bed, beat the heck out if his walls and door.  He started calming down a little after 11pm last night.  But when he's crazy, it put us all in a disarray.

Good morning.jojo it's going to be like that until he can stabilize on that one dose.his up and downs are all part of this Medication.remember I told you he was one of the unfortunate ones.like me Kate her son etc.we where /are the ones which is or took longer for this Medication to do it's thing.what I mean on a consistent dose is .one dosage without interruptions of dose for many months..

Lois, there is no way I can put up with this for months and months.  I can't.  If I see things getting better that's one thing.  But to keep him on 10mgs for another month or plus, and no improvement? 

How can you be so sure this med is working on him?

Lois...  what do you think is best that I do?  Continue giving the Lithium, increasing if the doctor tells me it is ok to increase?  I don't think he's manic..  I know it's all anxiety.  But can the Lithium still help him?  Or hurt him?

I'm still skeptical on lithium with celexa.they both produce serotonin..and both together is questionable.his already on one mood stabilizer..when he was feeling better on the celexa in the beginning .he wasn't taking lithium?

No..  actually I feel that the other doctor saw how crazy he looked from the side effects of the Celexa, that he thought he was manic.  My bf Rich, who is my partner and I run everything by him, used to take Lithium when he was a teen.  He is manic.  He takes nothing, I can't say he controls it, he's just my crazy nutting boyfriend lol.  He doesn't think Brooks is manic. 

Well I think he perhaps misdiagnosed him..and added that lithium.i would take my boyfriend advise who was a lithium taker with manic.over a doctor's?just saying

I value your opinion and his over any doctor that he's ever seen!  Rich flat out nodded his head back and forth and said "he's not manic".  Maybe that's why he was never around when it was time to get that blood test. 

Today..  he is very mellow.  Been falling asleep all day in school.  Um..  is this a sign?

JoJo that's exactly how this med is up and down up and down.doctors are so shady..he probably does not need the lithium.when I was going thru my ups and downs .. doctor the phychiatrist gave me that nasty mood stabilizer . because my mood was all over the place with celexa..I didn't need that junk.i just needed time for celexa to work...

Did you take it?

No.i took respideral .

OMG you took Risperdal? 

For one day.it gave me Zigzag vision the next morning.which turn my anxiety even worst... horrible.

My mood in the mid time of celexa was all over the place I mean a constant up and down mood bs.that was so hideous that I thought it would never end.

I wonder if what I'm giving him has been giving him any benefits.  It's the lowest dose they make.  I was thinking about keeping him on that providing he does get better from the Celexa.  Once or should I say if he does get better with Celexa, I don't want to continue giving the Lithium..  too many meds. 

 

I guess I am playing it by ear.  Banging on the walls acting crazy isn't a stable mood.  So I have to

assume the low dose isn't doing very much. 

Do you really think Celexa is working on him??

All I can say is it work on me!and I was a mess!!!!!!

I think it is ..you just have to be Patience..the doctor's gotta stop giving him new Medications . without know the correct cause.because guessing is not a good ride.

He was mellow yellow all day today..  even slept on the ride home and car rides are stressful for him..  as soon as we walk into the house and hears the dogs nails BOOM.  Stopped eating babbling twitching etc

That is his trigger ..😔

But if he is getting better... why is the sound still so severely effecting to him?  

Most of the time side effects/symptoms of anxiety and or celexa linger.. my loud ringing buzzing sound in my ears linger for along time ..I still get it comes and goes.i know I had a tiny bit of tinnitus..but the celexa magnified it..so let's pray the side effects start dwindling.

I'm not going to lie..  I'm not happy with this med.  His sound issue was not even close to what it is now.  He is more of a prisoner now than he ever was before taking it.  Maybe the med did cause him ringing in his ears or something worse.  I wouldn't know. 

I feel in the last week he has been having better moments, but the not good moments are more intense.  Once again..  it's all guessing.  Maybe it's all frustration for feeing good, then not feeling good? 

Yes all ssris come with there side effects drama..and because you can't communicate I feel you,...

Today is one of those really bad days...

Do you think he is worst or better.prior to lithium?

Or the same?

That is as hard to answer as you telling me when he will feel better.  I don't know.  He is all over the place.  Nothing consistent.  

Do you think that lithium is helping him.or are you bias towards the celexa or both?

I can't say anything has helped him yet.  Lithium is more of a concern right now because if I don't need to stress out his brain getting a blood test tomorrow..  I won't.  Stress gives him a seizure.  If it's something I'm not going up on or going to continue, I am not wasting my time.  Besides..  it's going to snow all day and I'm not going to want to leave the house..  just for my morning walk

I don't think Lithium has helped him, only the pot.  But I also think this because his dose is very low. 

It's the Celexa that has put us in a very bad place in our lives.  Because of the side effects making his anxiety crazy..  is why he isn't getting transported back and forth to school .  And the poor dogs can't even eat dinner without being scared. 

The Prozac.will be your next try.if celexa proofs other wise.?

I don't know how long I will give the 10mgs of Celexa.  

It's been a really long rough day for him 

Good morning Lois 😊

This is a joint decision with my family.  No blood test today, no more Lithium.  Let's see if there's any change without it.  

Celexa benefit has been from day one, it brought back his affection.  We went to New York City the last time back in May.  He has always loved NYC!  We also go every Christmas Eve because we never have anything to do.  We've missed every family event from his sound issue.  

Back in May he was on 5mgs.  Never had a side effect back then.   What is ur opinion on mgs for him?   I honestly don't think his sound issue will get better anytime soon and not sure what it will take for it TO get better.  I really wish I could show u a video of him back in May.  

First and foremost.does he have to wean off lithium?second I personally think 10milligrams is a good dose is not too much is not too little..the sound issues I'm betting will resolve.misophonia just doesn't appear one day.he was suffering from anxiety after accident wether is from anesthesia or trauma from accident.youll probably never know.because doctor's just assume if they don't actually see it physically or in a test they tell you what ever just to get you out of office.my sound issues did resolve although I didn't have them before celexa.celexa just brought out senses disturbances unprecedented...

What he started on with Lithium is what he's still on.  I looked it up, I didn't see anything about withdrawals or weaning.  

I will cut the dose of Lithium to half for a week just in case.  We have enough problems..  what do u think?

So when are you stopping lithium?

Absolutely!!!

Today..  cutting it in half for a week.  

You made me really think if he benefited from it and none of us could see he did.  We all agreed it's all anxiety.

When are you going back to Florida?

The company bought our tickets .but it still debatable.😕

So you might not be

Coming back?

How long should I give 10mgs of Celexa?

Monitor his behaviors ..and play it by ear.ten might be good .if not keep him on it at least 4weeks.

So far it's been 18 days on 10 mgs.  Each day feeling like hell 😢

Four weeks huh?  Gee it's only 12 more days ...

Still hand wringing, makes weird faces, grinds teeth, obcesses..  bug eyes. 

But he did lose that other face.  That face that didn't let him look normal.

That's all anxiety it's just taking Brook longer for that drama to subside.

Lois...  I just want one day to go by without  violence..  just one.  

I've trusted you this whole time.  I will give it another 2 weeks 😞

All those symptoms you mention I've experienced.with the exception of violence.but that violence comes from feelings he has with anxiety.and because he has anxiety he trys to fight it off with violence.thats how I see it .so many times I wanted to punch something because I couldn't understand why I couldn't control those feelings.the only difference was I didn't punch anything...but my mind wanted to...

I am so tired.  Tired of patching up holes and everything else he does.  

I believe you.  I trust you.  I wish so bad you were coming back to the US.  Just so I can text you his picture so you can see him.  

Two weeks 😞  Maybe I'll actually get a Christmas present of happiness 🙏

Lois...  shh.. he had a good day yesterday

Don't say it too loud...lol

Iam just been a little humorous ...if we don't have a bit humor ..we tend to get tension at times..I'm happy he felt good yesterday..

Sssssssshhhhhh!!!

😜

And he was laughing this morning.   

Lovely!!!!

🙏. All kidding aside..  we are far from out of the woods, but you helped me more than every doctor put together ?

Awww.thankyou so much JoJo..all though I have only maybe once ask kategogs about celexa..I have to thank Kate because of her iam on this forum...xo

Lois...  are you sitting down...?

I'm laying down...

Good enough 😁.  

He had a good entire day...

What does one think?  Two days in a row?  Who is this child?

That makes me so happy for the both of you..that is great ..if he has a little set back.dont worry that's the celexa..iam so full of joy...

It's the first time in a VERY long time I didn't fear being alone with him.  I can breathe 🙏👍

He's been laughing all day being a good ball.  His old self.  

How bad are these set backs?   Like what it's been like?  

I'll feel much better when I can lower his pot like he used to get before this insanity started.  

I never would have made it without you ?

No not as severe..he will be having little blips ..I'm praying he keeps moving forward...

Anytime JoJo.it makes me feel accomplished that I was able to help you..I'm here for when ever you need to vent ..

Oh I will be here for a long time.  I finally believe that he's getting better.  But he's far from cured.  

He was being really fresh..  playing hitting me but too hard.  I yelled at him and he started that hand wringing.  I kissed his neck and hugged him and it stopped.   He's still very fragile.  

Far from recovered, but on his way 🙏

Yes ..but that's how recovery starts . little bits to days of feeling well..that's awesome ..

I'm really looking forward to Christmas 🎄 now ?

This was the best present ever.  I know tomorrow can be diff, but he's moving forward and that's the important thing.

That sounds so right.happy for you both.. specially for Brook..

I really hope someday I can help someone like you helped me.  Brooks was def the worst case here because he has so many other things going on.  

Oh and another thing.  He never got a seizure this past wknd!  The last time he's gone this far without a seizure, the seizures stopped.  I don't know if the trigger was anxiety or the anxiety made it worse.  But I feel like I found the golden ticket on Willy Wonka 😜

It could be all of the above..but the main thing here is .that his making a come back ..two days straight in a row.is quite Lovely.with no seizures..that is fantastic.

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Hey Lois 😬

Was not as good of a day as yesterday, but compared to what it was a week ago, I'll take it.  Broke another CD player 😞 Just for the heck of it.  Not angry, no anxiety, now it's like a habit.  Great huh??

He had little bit anxiety today..  very little 🙏   Still FAR away from recovered.  I won't know until he actually goes outside and tolerates the birds chirping.  

Do you think he has aluminum toxicity from the anesthesia?

He would have to have a few more symptoms to have that.not a good brain storm.for that speculation.

A friend of mine was flooding my texts today with that.  I didn't want to go there..  too overwhelming.  

I will always feel that the anesthesia he got when he was 2 1/2 weeks old gave him autism.  No doubt.  

It's so sad.  His b-day is 12/23, he has always been a product of Christmas.  He loves Santa and Christmas and presents.  We used to watch night after night holiday movies.  He can't handle seeing them for some reason.  We used to make Christmas cards..  he can't even sign his name to a card this year.  I don't understand how with whatever he is going thru can make the most warm comfortable things he had in his life into something that makes him feel uncomfortable .

Yes ma'am that's the nasty anxiety...my sewing I been doing all my life use to give me horrible anxiety as soon as I sat and stare at my sewing machine...it's pass now . thank goodness...but he does not have aluminum toxicity..he would be having all kinds of other major events going on in. His system.

Like what??

I'm sure you doctor Google.it.if not do so..

Hello my friend.   As of now, are you coming home?  I would love to speak to you.   I really don't like this site.  I have a lot of problems with it.  

Things are VERY SLOWLY getting better ??

Lois...  I need you!!!!!

He went to the doctor yesterday and he wants him back on Lithium.

Why the lithium?

He said I changed the dose on 2 meds.   So if he starts not doing well, we won't know what needs to be adjusted 

Is this the doctor that wants him on five of celexa? How is Brook doing without the lithium.

NO, this is the doctor who wanted him on 20mgs of Celexa

I'm still giving him 1/2 dose of Lithium.  He had very bad anxiety the entire day yesterday.   Back to hand wringing nothing eating anger..

That sounds normal to me .the up and downs...why does he want t to raise the lithium..doesn't he care he might get ss.? what are you going to do?

I don't know!  My boyfriend said NO!

The doctor said it'll help keep him from being violent on his bad days with anxiety.  

I think if you are seen inprovement with what he is on let be.

That means another lie to his doctor.  I had to lie about his Celexa dose.  

So yesterday was normal?  Will it keep getting better?  He fell asleep at 1am this morning.  First time he's done that in a couple of weeks.  

Doctor's orders weren't making him any better.mamas orders are more what we're talking about here.letting that celexa dose settle is key here.many months as far as I'm concern.and since you have seen improvement ..I wouldn't try to fix something that ain't broken..

More than likely I won't be seeing Florida this year.😔so happy holidays JoJo..may the new year bring your family peace in all ways .. specially for brook.

You not coming back doesn't make me happy ..

I did give him his regular dose this morning.  I only did that because the doctor has a point.  He said it doesn't mean we aren't taking him off of the Lithium next month.   He wants to see him get stable on one adj at a time. 

For the last 2 days he is scaring me again.   I thought this was over.  Nobody should live in fear of their child.  

Can you just keep him on what he is on now? I understand the fear you have..but it's not like your taking him completely off.

150 2x a day or 75 2x a day?

Can Lithium be given once a day instead of twice a day?

Is it exended release or regular?

And also what was his normal dosage?

Lois...  had a hard time replying on here 😡

Regular because extended can't be crushed.  I gave him 150 this morning, nothing tonight.  Not sure if I'm doing right or wrong.  I think I would be right by ending it if his anxiety was better.  For as long as his anxiety is bad again, I don't know what I'm doing.  

Not a bad day today.  Had to give him extra pot like I did 2 weeks ago, but trying not to give it to him tonight.  He's sitting in my bed watching tv.  Fingers crossed he won't be up all night.

So what do you think about his dosing?

His anxiety was really bad last night.  Up late, he was frustrated trying to fall asleep.  I had to give him pot at 11:20pm.   

I missed a friends birthday party last night because he was so unsettled

What was his initial dosing...?

If your going to give him 150 milligrams daily ..why don't you 75 in the morning and 75 in the evening..from everything I read the split dosages seems to be more effective for lithium..

Lois...  very concerned.   He's not doing well at all.  I decided to put him back where he was 150 and 150 because by adjusting 2 diff meds at the same time doesn't let me know which med is bothering him or not working.  

I don't know if this is what you call a blip, but I call it a major setback.  After so much time on this med I have to wonder what am I doing.   I looked back on his pot dose.  He used to get 3/4 of an ounce a month.  From Celexa, he's on 2 ounces a month.   This is disturbing.  I had to borrow money from my job to pay my mortgage.   I just made ends meet.  I think about how this has financially killed me and he's still worse than when he started. 

Lois, what am I doing here???

It might be a blip....and this unsafe feeling your having around Brook only started happening after anesthesia .or has he always had some form of mania.?maybe is time to change meds..but you still have to wean..so your next dosage decrease. See how that goes? Really feel for you.these ssri are sometimes a crap shoot..

Heck no!  Never ever had to fear him.  We were planning a vacation to Germany before this anesthesia.   

What actually is a blip.  How long do they last?  Is that a setback?  This is ridiculous after being on this for 10 months..   unheard.

A blip is when you're pass symptoms/side effects return.they could last minutes/hours/days/week/etc.

That's crazy.   Weeks???  How is a person supposed to know what is and what isn't working?  Really..  

I know tell me about it.the thing is most doctor's don't believe in blips.so when their patients describe that setback/blip.they go on prescribe a higher dose or tell you to stop and try different ssri.

What am I supposed to do?  

I mean do you know for sure what med is doing what..?is it the celexa.is it the lithium?I know is not the pot..but you have to take that into consideration also.could it be a combination of the zyprexa?is hard to determine because of all the meds.if you think celexa is the culprit.wean him and give him the prozac.which is approved for autism...

OMG this doctor said if his anxiety doesn't get better, he wants him on a higher dose!!!!!   I'm not doing well.  None of this is sitting well with me.  

He had 5 good days.   That was it.

Five good days.that is how this celexa works.thats how it started with me the good days then there where blips.then more good days then blips.then good week then blip.and so on and so on.

How long was your first blip?

I say it was a long four weeks.it was anight mare.then they got less and less from four weeks to three weeks to two weeks etc.they came out of the blue.just relaxing with my husband then all of a sudden dread.irratabilty.scare s**tless palpitations headaches I mean severe.it scares me thinking about it.

Four weeks it lasted .it was awful..then they got less and less they come out of the blue.one minute fine the next I'm sitting there with dreadful thoughts headaches irratibility..etc.i said a natural naughty word so they moderated me.i mention the number two.lol

4 straight weeks?????

Yes so I had to up my zanex dosage.other wise I was helpless and the look on my face from what my husband tells me wasn't good.i feel what Brook is feeling trust me.its just so devastating that that pill wakes up all your senses that cause fears..it just intensifies them.so you giving him that extra potreminds me when I had to take extra zanex..I know your having issues because pot is expensive.but I can relate to Brook.except perhaps I can control rage.so many times I wanted to punch the wall.or the gp that super guinea pig me with those other ssris.but I didn't ..

How long being on Celexa did you have that added Xanax?   

Only when I felt dreadful.if I didn't feel dreadful I just kept my self busy.so I still take a half of a .25 when necessary..I wish I could just take the zanex . instead of celexa.my husband's mom takes zanex for decades half of one milligrams.and she's fine .she refused to take ssris.

So why didn't you just take Xanax and get off of Celexa?

And you're telling me you had a 4 week blip?  

That's when you first started right?  Not being on it for months and months.  

Because when I initially when to the gp they didn't and don't prescribed benzos in florida.then after I switch to a phychiatrist she stated let's try the celexa.and because she didn't see me in dire need of a benzo.she didn't prescribed.but after feeling so I'll from celexa she gave in to xanex.and yes that blip held on to me for four weeks but it will always subside in the evening.i think my ambiem to sleep was kind to my blip.

Yes when I was on twenty it was horrific.but when I down to ten it seem to settle as far as side effects.then out of the blue been on ten milligrams and four months on ten I got hit with that horrible blip.it was like going back to where I was.it was so up and down until around the 8month mark.

I have a serious problem.   He has a very violent bad day today.   He's going backwards too much that this will cause serious problems with my town getting a bus.  

Lois, what am I supposed to think?  Or do?   He hasn't been this bad in a very long time in school.   

The teacher said every time a sound was made, he went after them!  They had to relocate the class!!  This has never happened.   This is worse than when it was at its worst.

Maybe is time for another reduction.five milligrams according to the other doc.was is the proper dose for autism.

What does this mean?  But why would he get better for 5 days?  

This is crazy.  What do I do?  

I would hold off this is how this unpredictable ssri works

So don't lower it?  

Why a setback WORSE than when it was at its worst?

Yes setbacks are very similar ..and your the only one that can determine his ups and downs.? You should see if he is better tomorrow.his reactions are certainly different than most of us.but very much alike.with the exception of his autism.i think the ten milligrams is not settled yet.

I have to give him more pot tomorrow.   I can't allow kids in school to be scared.  So he will be better tomorrow.   The problem is I can only get a certain amount each month.  I run out I'm dead.

Yes I totally understand.i know that when he is feeling better your going to use less pot..so let's pray.

If I have to give him so much pot to help him with Celexa side effects...  I could have just given him more

Pot without the Celexa and he'd be in better shape.   

Remind me why I'm giving him celexa...

🤔

Probably.the celexa is for his anxiety that was brought on by car accident/anesthesia.yes I say the same thing if they the doctor's would of gave me zanex initially.i probably would be fine.

Wonderful...  so I'm keeping him on 10 for how long do I give it to see if he gets better?

At least three months..

WHAt!!!!!

You will never know if you keep changing dose .one consistent dose for at least 12 weeks is everything that I have read and experience.brook is one of the unfortunate ones including me.

So 2 more months like this...?

I don't know.  

If you don't ?you will never know?

He's very strange.   He can be

Laughing then in a second he's trying to destroy.   See that is scary to me.  

I don't understand this.   Thank God I am very mentally strong.  I wish I was physically as strong.  He has beaten me down so much.  I cannot believe what this last year has been like.   

I remember when he first started Celexa, he was SO GOOD that he didn't even need a behaviorist.   My 85 year old parents were fine being alone with him.   He was great on 10 for a month, great on 20 for a month..  then he wasn't great.  

That's exactly right that doctor Jekyll and Mr hyde.know it all too well.but it went away.but it stuck around for a couple months.does twenty milligrams mean more serotonin or is it all the same?never ask my phychiatrist that question.but I will ask ..

Oh I would say it's more!  

So I guess we all need different levels of serotonin.i know some one on this forum explain it.i think it was katecogs..it's all so confusing.its mind boggling.

So I guess I didn't need that much serotonin.. because with twenty I was really I'll.felt so medicated

Lois...  it can't stay like this.  I can't do this anymore.   

Remember if your feeling skeptical about celexa you have to wean him anyway.i know that nine months is along time.so you have to make that decision.

Lois, we are one week shy of 10 months on this stuff.  Skeptical?  You think??

He’s back to hand wringing, eye twitching, and very very angry.   

What am I supposed to think?  And even with the extra pot, he’s still Jekyll and Hyde and very scary.  He hasn’t been sleeping either in the last 4 nights.

Lois good morning.   Today is 4 weeks on 10.   And next week will be total of 10 months, 4 months of hell.  

This is no blip.  This is bad.  We are getting his bus reinstated for the day after New Years.   I waited until he was better so there are no issues.  Even extra pot didn’t help him.  Like nothing helped him.  BAD day and night.  

Can you find anything about autism and Xanax ?

I just read that Klonopin and xanex in small doses are use as and of label to treat children with autism.

What’s a low dose of Xanax?  Because I have a script for myself 

0.25

Can’t something bad happen to autistic kids from Xanax?  Like have the reverse effect?  

I'm thinking that's why they say low doses..just in case that happens..low doses don't make you drowsy.

You should consult with your doctor.just to be safe.doctor did give him valium before?

.25 knocks me out.  

That’s what I would hope it would do for him.   I was always afraid to try it on him because there is a chance it could work in reverse with autism.  

I would have to get my script filled first.  

Any other suggestions?  So you don’t think I should lower it?  

Yes, Valium made him crazy!!  Gave him seizures.   Is it the same thing?

They are both benzos .the difference is valium has a more long life than xanax.valium is more sadating than xanex..

So are they in the same family?  

If so, that may hurt him.

Yes there both benzos.when they say it may hurt kids with autism .I'm pretty sure they mean in high doses.the one doctor did give him valium before .correct?

Yes, he was on a low dose of Valium and he was losing his mind.  I had to stop.  

I always look at pictures of him before anesthesia..  he was so free, happy, pure, in love with life.  I will never get that back.  

Don't loose hope.all though valium and xanex are same family.they work different.on valium I felt drowsy..on Klonopin I couldn't function.on xanex on a low dose I can function etc.

Klonopin turned him into a monster.  

Yes everyone is different my mom has been taking Klonopin for a couple of decades for sleep.along with celexa

I really am afraid to give him Xanax..

Lois...   I miss him so much!!!! ❤️  It hurts.

When phychiatrist first gave me xanex she told me to cut 0.25 in half

So that means one milligram should last you 8days

I would be too afraid giving it to him.  Especially cause of the seizures.  

He from what I was told had a much better day

🙏

That is wonderful..it's the yo-yoing of this Medication that alot of folks can't deal with..the unpredictability is so common...

Lois... doesn’t your husband have email that you can use?  I can’t go on here anymore.  It can take 30 mins to type one comment.   I get kicked off.  

Things have gotten really bad that I have given up.   I don’t even want to live anymore.   I have nothing left.   No person should live like this 

Start a new thread I will respond asap.my husband has email but it's in his personal laptop at work

For the last few days not even giving him double the amount of pot is helping him.  Nothing.

Or private me ..private doesn't get all back up

Perhaps is time to down dose.

Private me so I can respond