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Hello everyone, My name is Chris and I'm 22 years old. For the past 2 years I have been dealing with what seems to be a concoction of Anxiety and deppression, but there is way more that i need to explain that happened prior to this. This all started in December of 2016, I was dealing with a few things but I know I was not struggling to the point that this all happened. My girlfriend was about to move in with me, I was in the middle of finals in college and my father had been hospitalized for AFIB (it was a speedy recovery). I began around this time to have moments where out of nowhere, I became aware of my heartbeat. now when i say this i do not mean palpitations yet. My heartbeat was hard, and it would pick up. Now this happened anywhere and anytime, I was laying down, i was in a line and I could have been just out and it would occur. I am active and at this point I would have three cups of coffee a day and preworkout because i go to the gym and go run. Also prior to the heartbeat there was one time I was preparing to go run and I just had an overall strange feeling, like floaty and about to pass out, but nothing happend. Then one night, I woke up and my heartbeat was strong and I was really shakey. I panicked and when i rose from mybed my vision seemed like i was on a boat. I was sweating and I went to the hospital, they ran tests but found nothing. it happend again and they gave me Sertraline . I went on this and I immediatly panicked because of how I felt. I felt like I was going crazy, I always felt like i was in a dream or I wasnt real. everything felt so odd that I think i just panicked. I went off cold turkey and I believe this messed me up. I never felt the same and even after two years I still think of it and panic. even now I still feel different, and I am pretty bummed all the time. Now more recently I began experiencing flashes of thoughts, they are very dark and sometimes contain suicide. this can send me in a panic fit as well. I know i do not want to end my life but I cant help but be afraid because i think the meds I was given affected me in some way. also, More recently, I have developed headaches as well. I hear this can be due to stress. after seeing multiple doctors, thereapist and cardiologists I am empty handed. I feel like this forum can help shes light on different thinks. Please reach out if you can. I am on my last leg with solving this and I am terrified of not knowing. Thank you all.
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