Need help!!!

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I have just got back intuch with my neice. My problem is that she left home when she was14 because of problems at home. My2 daughters went to school with her and informed me that she has got depershin and lyed alot the thing is she has started telling me and my husdand about strange things going going on with her partner and her(sheis 21now) he is getting paid for other men to sleep with her. He is always beatting her she has started selfharming. She has epepsy and dieadetis. Her partner( they are not married) is telling her that shes not alowed to come and see us as apparently thete is a limit she is alowed to come round i dont know wheather to belive what she is saying as what my daughters have said. I myself have depression so i am worrying about her if she is telling the truth but i dont know how to go about fining out if she is telling us the truth or not. As she calls myself and my husdand mum and dad so it is hard for me to sorted  this out so i hope someone can help me to figure this problem out as i am feeling really down out it all and its putting strain on my family life and dont want to lose any of them 

                         

              PLEASE HELP ME BEFOR I GO 

                          I GO MAD

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Has she told lies before? Can she be trusted?

    Would you be willing to take her in if it is the truth?

    Have you seen bruises?

    Ask her to a meal and see her reaction, is she flustered.

    Can you talk about sex, tell her a hypothetical situation ie, x was forced into having sex, is there any advice she can give? Should x leave him.

    Say you are finding it hard to advise and you would really appreciate her input, watch her closely to her responded.

    Let her know no matter what, you are there for her and always will be. Let her know she is loved.

    Can you at worse speak to a close friend telling her that you want to help if the situation is true

    Hope it makes sense xxx

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    • Posted

      I have tryed everything that you have sugested the thing is she lives out at wintoton and she has now were to go i would put her up at the drop of a hat but i have no were to put her. She has lyed so many times before she has just got very good at it her mither says she lyes alot her brother dose but they can be as bad so i just dont know how to front her about anything 
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    • Posted

      Its a risk but ask her directly and again watch her response.

      The situation with this man is abusive at bbest.

      Is she drugged to make her comply or filled with alcohol?

      Many deaths each year happen in abusive relationships

      He certainly has no respect for her.

      Is she trapped in this relationship ?

      Can the police investigation quietly?

      If you explain the situation?

      No one should have to live like that its dehumanizing xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Shirley.

    Firstly I'd like to say how lucky your niece is to have a aunt who cares so very much about her that she's worrying herself sick.

    Secondly I'd like to ask you to let yourself off the hook. You are not responsible for what us happening.

    You are unsure if your niece is lying but there is every possibility that she could be as she has a history of doing so. You are worrying yourself sick over something that may not even be factual.

    If there is some validation to what your niece is saying,you can only help her if she reaches out to you. We get to a certain age where we have to take a little responsibility for ourselves and think about how our action and how we live effects those who care about you. Now I don't think your niece has given a single thought to how you may be feeling about hearing all this....If she did have the slightest consideration for you,she would be in touch with you to ease your mind. It doesn't take two minutes to pick up a phone and say "hey auntie,I'm ok" or "hey auntie,I need your help"!!!!!

    I don't know what situation,if any that your niece is in Shirley but you must consider your own health and until you know fir definite that something's going on,I should put it to the back of your mind and worry if you get a inclination that these things are actually happening. You could be sat worrying when all the time,nothing like that is happening.

    There is not much you can do Hun unless you know the facts or until your niece asks for help...So you may aswell try to relax and save your energy for the time that phone call happens,if it ever does xxx

     

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