Need help understanding this Depression!!
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hi I am a 43 old female who has pretty much had anxiety/depression most of my life. Sorry this post is going to be a bit long I just really wanted to explain in detail so maybe someone will understand. I started with anxiety around 16 years old but it was under control (no meds) After I had my 4th child I got diagnosed with hypothyroidism and put on medication for that. Then anxiety/depression started to become more of a issue. I was put on Prozac and that worked for about 15 years. From there I went on to Venlafaxine 75mg. This worked as well up until about 3 months ago. I was diagnosed with Graves disease this past year and this in itself has been HELL. But point to my story is that my depression is nothing I have ever experienced in my life. I will be totally numb feeling, severely fatigued, no motivation, sadness, etc. I literally feel like my brain is shut down and I am in a total fog, like i can not function because of how depressed I feel. This will last for a good majority of my day, then I feel like the fog lifts and I am back to feeling ok. This has been happening almost daily now and I am VERY concerned. I really am beginning to hate my life because of this. My doctor did just increase my venlafaxine to 150 mg 3 days ago(hopefully this will help) Has anyone had or have this happen, if so what has worked to stabalize you? Feel totally defeated and like my life will never be the same!
1 like, 9 replies
chelsea17707 kdw12
Posted
hi kdw. I am feeling EXACTLY the same way as you right now. I could have wrote your post myself. I have just started venlaflaxine 2 weeks ago after my celexa "pooped out." So I am hoping my side effects are just related to my depression not being controlled by medication yet/start up side effects. hopefully we can get each other through this!
kdw12 chelsea17707
Posted
chelsea17707 kdw12
Posted
i do not have the thyroid issue so i can't begin to imagine having to deal with that on top of the depression. I too isolate myself when I am feeling depressed, like now, because it's just easier than having to explain how I am feeling to everyone. Luckily I have a great support system like my mom, sister, and close friends who have watched me go through this before. They all get me out of the house, even if I have to FORCE myself. Be open with your loved ones, as hard as it is. if you feel like that is just too overwhelming, then just being home doing things that usually make you happy is a good place to start. reading a book, watching a funny movie or funny youtube videos. i hope this helps!
kdw12 chelsea17707
Posted
Thank you Chelsea for your kind words. I will definitely keep those ideas in mind. It's just so hard having to explain how I am feeling to people. I know they are trying to be supportive but I feel like they just really don't get it. Then I start to feel even worse about myself, because I start wishing I could just be mentally stable and happy like everyone else. I guess that's the cycle of depression. I hope venlafaxine helps you with your symptoms. I absolutely loved this medication and it worked great for years.
hedda99 kdw12
Posted
Hi, I've a similar story. I've had anxiety/depression since childhood and was diagnosed with an under-active thyroid after my second child. Diagnosis took nearly three years and I was practically comatose by that time. I've just started venlafaxine (my 5th anti-depressant). I feel much the same as you but my thyroid is apparantly under control with the levothyroxine. My mental health issues stem from elsewhere.
Have you gone from being under to over-active then? I wonder if your thyroid problem is under control? When did they last check your blood? It could be that your levels have changed again and they need to adjust your thyroid medication.
I feel for you.
kdw12 hedda99
Posted
Yes, I went from being underactive for 20 years to hyper about 9 mths ago. It has been one hell of a ride. My levels are going back into range but not completely there yet. I know my thyroid has ALOT to do with how I feel mentally but I just could not sit around and wait for my levels to get into perfect range that's why I asked my doctor to increase my antidepressant. Since becoming hyper I actually think something changed in my brain chemistry, as weird as that sounds. But yeah thyroid plays a Huge part on your mental and physical well being.
shaunalynn kdw12
Posted
dear kdw12. i totally understand the fog feeling. and if i try to explain it Im at lose for words. so it seems pointless to even try anymore . I just recently quit taking prozac. it didnt seem to be helping. i keep telling myself im going to call and start talking to a counselor or therapist because like you i know what im experiencing lately is serious. more then ever before. i feel like I've lost who I am. im sorry for going on so long but i've been holding alot in. I could easily fill up a whole book but it seems like my hands cant keep up with my mind. i am truely scared for the way i have been feeling also.
kdw12 shaunalynn
Posted
shaunalynn kdw12
Posted
Yes but I am also a recovery drug addict and I know me and another addiction is the last thing I need . I have faith in God that things will get better. He doesnt give us anything we cant handle. Im trying to focus on the positives. At least i still have good days . And i have wonderful diabetes dc. What really scares me is when my blood sugars go haywire and I lose control of myself . If I can remember it I can deal with it but if I can't remember or only remember 2 sec flashbacks that's what I struggle with. But like I said I have faith . Thank you for your reply. I hope you are doing well.