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Hi I dont even know where to start, its took me alot to come onto here! Ive read through some peoples posts and its a slight comfort to know im not the only one who feels like this. I really just thought i wasnt normal, anyway im 25 & for the past say 7 year ive constantly felt down n never really felt happy over the past 2year ive gradually getting worse where i dont want to leave the house even though i need to for work( i work nightshift)before i leave for work i always plan what i'll do if i see people sad i know i just constantly feel judged. After leaving the house i always feel panicy and i cant control it. As soon as arrive home the next morning i feel less panicy because im in my comfort zone. Im very lonely i have family but they dont bother with me, i live with my mam but shes always working, shes a big drinker and is also quite down alot. Ive tried talking to friends how i feel but noone understands one friend even said i was miserable now when im around her i have to put an act on so i dont seem miserable its took over my life. Its at the point i only leave the house when im at work. I wont even step foot in the garden on my day off. I wake up on a morning & have nothing to look forward to id rather sleep my days away. Ive never felt happy in a very long time theres alot more i could but id be here all day
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