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Here I am again. it's one of those nights and I just need to get my feelings out there. I just keep overthinking and digging myself deeper into a hole of despair. I just can't seem to get over the thought that it's all just downhill from here, like childhood was the best time I'll very have in my life and everything now is just killing time till I die. it all seems so pointless. I feel like I'm filled with all this knowledge that everyone else seems to be able to just shrug off, that it's all so pointless because we're going to die anyway. I just can't understand how people can go about their daily lives and not be crippled by this inevitable truth. I don't want to grow older. it's just depressing to even think about. and yet everyday I'm just getting closer and closer to death and everything I've done or haven't done with my life will just be rendered meaningless.
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